820-Lancasier Fanning, Saturday, December 10,1988
PENN STATE (Centre)
Many of us splurge at Christmas,
not just on gifts but on parties,
decorations, cards and food. The
result is not only empty pockets
but often exhaustion, stress and
frustration. We need to re
evaluate what the Christmas holi
days mean to us, says Marilyn
Furry, Assistant Professor, Agri
cultural and Extension Education
at Penn State.
The holidays should be a relax
ing time to spend with your fami
ly, something children need as
much as adults do. Furry has
found that children want attention
from parents who are busy trying
to buy gifts, clean the house and
decorate the tree. Parents are often
at parties or gatherings with
friends. The children end up
spending time with a babysitter or
tired, harried parents.
Too often the responsibility for
the holiday is not shared by the
family. Buying and wrapping
gifts, decorating the home, baking
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Dick 215-932-3307
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Enjoy Friends
cookies and mailing cards is usu
ally done by the mother. The rest
of the family barely joins in the
preparation. If they don’t have the
Christmas they would like, the
mother often feels guilty.
Families need to sit down
together and set priorities for holi
day activities. Do you need to mail
all those cards or bake three extra
batches of cookies? Complete
only as many things as you can do
comfortably. Congratulate your
self for what you’ve accomplished
rather than agonizing about what
you haven’t done. To spend more
time together, some families
refuse social invitations after
December 15, unless they include
the whole family.
Families also need to set realis
tic expectations about gifts.
Stores, television commercials
and magazine advertisements start
the holiday push earlier and earlier
each year. Do you need to buy
gifts for everyone? Perhaps you
could draw names with friends
cut,
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And Strengthen Family Ties
and relatives. Set a price limit for
gifts and have everyone agree in
advance.
If you shop with your children,
don’t plan to accomplish as much
as you could do alone. Take your
children shopping with you once
or twice as a family activity to see
the decorations and shop for one
or two things. If you plan to do a
lot of shopping, it may be worth
while to hire a babysitter or
exchange babysitting services
with a neighbor.
Buy gifts discriminately. Will
the gift last? Can it be recycled or
repaired? Use your creativity to
make gifts. Capitalize on talents
such as baking, jelly making,
weaving, sewing or wreath mak
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ing. Give a coupon book of favors
to be redeemed throughout the
year. Another good gift is a dona
tion in the person’s name to a local
charity or church group.
“Families also need strong holi
day traditions so that each year
children can say, “When do we
make the wreath?” or decorate the
tree?” Furry says. “Do things as a
family, not just the mother writing
the Christmas cards.” Discuss
with your family the traditions
that are important to them. Be sure
to consult your children who need
traditions to stabilize the unset
tling holiday season. Spread tradi
tions out during the holidays, not
just December 25. They may be
simple things the family does
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together such as decorating the
tree or opening the cards together.
Include activities not centered
around gift giving: take a walk in
the woods or call on friends.
Furry also emphasizes an even
ly paced holiday season. From
Thanksgiving on, sometimes even
earlier, the holidays receive a huge
buildup. On December 26, the
activities drop dramatically.
Everyone feels let down and
children are left surrounded by a
slack of gifts wondering what to
do next. Wind down the holiday
season gradually. Have some of
those get-togethers after the holi
days. The tree and other decora
tions don’t have to come down
December 26, either.
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