AlO-lancMtor Fanning, Thursday, Dacamber 24. 1987
OPINION
This Christmas Reach Out
A characteristic of farmers who
manage stress well is that they
have people they can turn to for
emotional support. This support
might come from family, church
members, friends or other farmers
who have experienced the same
kind of stress.
“People who manage stress well
talk about their problems with
trusted friends,” says University of
Delaware Extension family spe
cialist Dr. Patricia Tanner Nelson.
“Regular, informal get-togethers
with friends can be a life-saver.”
As one fanner puts it, “Around
the table is where you get the
gripes out. And you always find
that there’s somebody who’s got a
worse problem than you.”
Researchers have found that
people who lack close relation
ships are four times as likely not to
live their normal life expectancy as
those with close relationships.
“You can be a ‘friend indeed’
when you provide emotional sup
port for someone who’s going
through a difficult time,” Nelson
says.
What do you say when you
don’t know what to say?
When a friend or relative is
experiencing trouble-such as
financial losses, divorce, serious
illness or death in the family-it’s
easy to stay away or remain silent
because you don’t know the right
words to say. But look at it from his
or her point of view, the specialist
says. During hard times, things
seem even worse when friends and
family stay away.
Nelson offers the following sug
gestions on how to offer help in an
awkward situation.
Instead of asking “How are
you?” as soon as you greet some
one, chat for a few minutes. Then
pause and say, “How are you
doing?” or “How are things
going?” When you inquire right
away, the person may not realize
that you really want an answer. But
before you ask the question, be
sure you have time to listen.
Send the person a note to let him
or her know you care. You might
start it with something like, “I’ve
been thinking about you and won
der how you’re doing.” Letting the
person know you care can make a
big difference. Nelson says. You
might suggest getting together for
coffee in a few days. Then be sure
to call and follow through.
Be aware of especially stressful
limes for the person, such as an
appointment with a lawyer, a doc
tor or a banker. Call a few hours
later to see how things went. Your
caring may help the person cope
with bad news.
Let the person know you’re not
trying to snoop but only want to be
a support. It may help to say some
thing like, “I don’t want to butt into
your affairs, so tell me if I’m get
ting too personal and I’ll drop it.”
That makes it clear you want to
help, but only if he or she wants to
talk.
Confidentiality is essential. Let
the person know that what is said is
between you two, even if you
aren’t specifically asked not to
repeat the information. If you can’t
keep a confidence, it’s better not to
listen to personal comments.
Find a time and place where you
won’t be interrupted and where
others can’t eavesdrop. If neces
sary, you may want to suggest
another time or place, if the present
circumstances don’t offer enough
privacy.
Or say you’ll drop by sometime
to chat. Perhaps you can stop by
when you know the person will be
working in the farm shop, or bring
along some donuts and suggest he
or she make some coffee to go with
them.
Remember that it may be diffi
cult for someone who needs help to
bring up the subject. He or she may
not want to bother you. You need
to let the person know that you
want to listen.
Sometimes a physical gesture
like an arm around the shoulder or
a hug may say more than any
words.
At a time of great personal loss
or tragedy, it may be enough to go
to the person' and say, “I don’t
know what to say,” or “I want you
to know I’m thinking of you.” The
person in crisis doesn’t need
advice or even words of wisdom,
but rather your caring and your
presence. To reach ou tis part of the
Christmas Spirit. We’ll all want to
extend this kind of reach to 365
days of the year.
v
Farm
Calendar
Tuesday, January 5
Dairy Nutrition School, Eastern
Lancaster County, Gap Fire
Hall, 9:45 a.m.
Schuylkill Co. Dairy Day, PSU
Schuylkill Campus, 9 a.m.
Wednesday, January 6
Lancaster Conservation District
Dinner meeting, Stock Yard
Inn, 6 p.m.
r -
NOW IS
THE TIME
By Jay Irwin
Lancaster County Agriculture Agent
To Check
Barn Ventilation
Proper ventilation of all types of
livestock and poultry buildings is
very important during the winter
months. When the warm,
moisture-laden air is not moved
out of the area, we usually see con
densation on the windows, walls
and ceilings. This is especially true
with little or poor insulation.
Exhaust fans will move the air out,
and protect the building. During
this time of year bams are filled
with livestock; these animals give
off large amounts of body heat.
When condensation occurs it is a
sign that some attention is needed;
in most cases it is a problem with
ventilation or with insulation.
To Review
Your Will
I don’t know of anything that
changes more than our tax laws.
As these changes take place we
must review our personal affairs.
First, a thorough examination of
your will should be done; second,
examine how you own property;
and third, check for application of
the new tax laws to determine
Thursday, January 7
PSU Christmas Tree Management
short course, Buckout Lab,
through the Bth.
Tax Prep meeting, Farm & Home
Center, 8:45 a.m.
Northeast Regional Tomato Grow
ers meeting, Thompson’s Dairy
Bar, Newton, Ronsom Blvd.,
Lackawanna Co., 10 a.m.
York Co. Forage Show, Young
Farmers, Kennard-Dale High
School
Analyzing Dairy Profits Extension
Service, 1100 Claremont Road,
Carlisle
Friday, January 8
Association of Conservation Dis-
tricts meeting, Grantville,
1/8-9.
Dairy Reproduction School No. 1,
Western Lancaster Co.
Tax Preparation Meeting, Cham
bersburg Holiday Inn, 8:45 a.m.
Sunday, January 10
PA Farm Show, Jan. 10 through
15, at Farm Show Bdlg.,
Harrisburg.
American Farm Bureau Annual
meeting, New Orleans, 1/10-14
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savings.
Everyone should have their will
thoroughly reviewed if it hasn’t
been done since September 1981.
One major point of the review
should be to determine ways of
applying the new unlimited federal
estate tax marital deduction.
Any amount of property can
now be transferred tax-free to a
spouse at death. However, this
option'should be considered care
fully, medium and large estates
may pay more tax if the entire
estate is passed to the surviving
spouse.
I Consult your attorney about
I making necessary changes.
to Protect Orchard
Fruit Trees
While most of the hard work for
fruit growers may be over, it is that
time of the year for mice, deer and
rabbits to get busy.
On young trees preventative
measures are necessary. The most
effective way to prevent rabbit
damage is to use tree trunk guards
on individual trees. Cylinders of
V* -inch mesh hardware cloth 18 to
24 inches high, set into the ground
surrounding the tree, will help pre
vent gnawing damage to the main
stem.
Another way to keep rabbits and
“FOLLOW ME!”
December 27,1987
Background Scripture: Matthew
4.
Devotional Reading: Acts
10:34-3.
No matter how many times I’ve
read Matthew’s account of the call
of Peter, Andrew, James and John,
it still strikes me at every reading
with its simplicity and power.
Whenever I get bogged down in
the intricacies and complexities of
Christian life, I need to remember
the way in which Jesus recruited
these four disciples; “Follow me,
and I will make you fishers of
men” (Matthew 4:19).
Later, as they trudged up and
down Galilee, he would explain
and demonstrate what he meant
when he said “Follow me.” But on
the day when he first spoke these
words by the Sea of Galilee, that
was all he said. If they wanted to
know more about that to which he
was calling them, they had but one
choice; to follow him.
Writers have often suggested
that there was more to this experi
ence than Matthew tells us. Per
haps these men had heard Jesus
preach and teach previously. Mgy
be he had already talked to them
about discipleship what it
would require. But, regardless, the
simplicity and power remain.
Jesus says, “Follow me . . .” and
Matthew tells us “Immediately
they left their nets and followed
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deer from chewing branches and
buds is to “paint” tree trunks and
limbs with a mixture of |5 to 6
pounds of powdered rosin in one
gallon of ordinary alcohol. Simply
use a whitewash brush to apply the
material. The rabbits and deer find
the rosin too gritty and aside from
an occasional nip will usually
leave the tree alone. Be sure to app
ly the material to a height well
above the reach of the deer.
To Be Aware
Of Tax Reporting
Timetables
Farmers planning to estimate
what their tax is going to be for
1987 should file form 1040 ES by
January 15. If you file your Esti
mated Return by January 15, you
have until April IS to file a com
plete tax return on Form 1040 and
pay any tax still due or request a
refund if they overpaid in making
the tax estimate. However, farmers
who do not file and pay an esti
mated tax must file the completed
1040 form by March 1 and pay in
full whatever tax is due at that
time. Non-farmers have until April
15 to complete their 1040 and pay
any tax due. Farmer’s Tax Guides
are available at the Extension
Office to assist in filing your
reports.
him” (4:20),
WHERE WE WORK
Note that Jesus did not invite
those who were learned in the law,
nor those who had a reputation for
being strict followers of the law.
Instead, he chose as his closest fol
lowers men engaged in common
occupations. They were fisher
men, a rather common occupation
in Galilee. Their training and skill
were in catching fish. What did
they know of religion that their fel
low citizens did not know? Furth
ermore, Jesus came to these men in
the midst of their everyday occu
pation. While they were still work
ing with their nets, Jesus came and
said, “Follow me . ..”
So it is even today. Being a dis
ciple of Jesus Christ has nothing to
do with what the world judges to
be either “learned” or “righteous.”
There is no I.Q. test for new disci
ples, no credit check, no agreement
to submit to a polygraph (lie detec
tor) test. One does not need to “be
put up for membership” by one or
more prominent citizens, nor does
Jesus ask for a resume or “refer
ences.” What Jesus is looking for
are persons who will affirmatively
respond to his invitation to “Fol
low me.” And he comes to us
where we live and work in our
offices, our stores, our factories,
and our homes.
After these four men responded
to his call and followed him, he
showed them what he was calling
for them to do in their discipleship.
They were to do what he did and
they saw that his ministry was
- intended for the minds, bodies and
spirits of those who came to him.
Matthew tells us: “And he went
about all Galilee, teaching in their
synagogues, preaching the gospel
of the kingdom and healing every
disease and every infirmity among
the people” (4:23).
Few of us are called to be clergy,
but that doesn’t mean that the dis
cipleship to which he calls every
one is anything less than that to
which he called these four men.
Wherever we are, whatever our
circumstances, whatever our
talents and training, we can teach
and preach the good news of Jesus
Christ in our own way and be chan
nels of his healing power in the
world.
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That’s what he means when he
says, “Follow me ..
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