NEWARK, Del. - Who takes
care of children in the morning
when parents must leave for work
before school opens or in tht,
afternoon before parents arrtWi
home.? Many times it’s the
children themselves.
“Having school-age children
supervise themselves for a part of
each weekday is sometimes the
only option for working parents,”
says Sally Foulke, University of
Delaware extension home
economist.
“Although self-care can be a
positive experience that enhances
a child’s feelings of competence
and self-worth, 25 percent of lat
chkey children have trouble with
Fear is common among latchkey children
NEWARK, Del. - A child waits
alone in an empty house after
school until mom or dad comes
home from work. The two hours
drag into an eternity. Noises in the
house are amplified by the silence.
A creaking board becomes the
footstep of an intrudcer. Quickly,
the television set is turned on full
blast to drown out the sounds of the
house as well as the child’s
loneliness.
“As a result of their situation,
latchkey children face special
problems,” says Sally Foulke,
University of Delaware extension
home economist. “Often a child,
not wanting to disappoint parents,
will say that everything is fine.
Many parents are unaware of the
extreme anxiety children may
experience. Parents need to
develop open communication
about a child’s fears.”
For safety and legal reasons,
parents may forbid children to go
outside once they are home, or
prohibit them from entertaining
friends inside the house. The result
is isolation, loneliness and anxiety.
Toll-free line
LANCASTER Today there are
more and more single-parent and
two paycheck families than ever
before. Consequently, the number
of young school-age children at
home without adult supervision is
on the rise.
Usually the “latch-key” child
knows where one or both parents is
and has a way of reaching one of
them in case of an emergency. But
what happens when a youngster
who is caught in a situation he or
she cannot handle can’t contact a
parent?
Maybe there’s a frightening
storm outdoors...a hamster got out
of its cage-parents are overdue
getting home-school is canceled
because of icy roads...or maybe
the child is upset by a bad day at
school or is lonely and needs
someone to talk to.
To provide reassurance and
3
Parents can make time alone easier
self-care.” The home economist
offers some suggestions for
parents to help their children feel
more comfortable about the lat
chkey situation.
Most children travel to and from
school either by walking or riding a
bus. A survival card to carry on
their daily trip can give young
children a sense of security. It
should include the child’s name,
address, phone number at home,
parents’ work numbers, the name
of a person to contact in case of
injury, and money to make a phone
call (a quarter taped to the back of
the card).
“Parents should discuss the
importance of the card, the
meaning of emergency money, and
“Feelings of fear are more
frequent and enduring among
latchkey children than children
who are under continuous adult
care,” says Foulke. “Research
shows that some latchkey children
cope with fear by excessive use of
the telephone or television, turning
on a number of lights or conducting
security checks. Some children
may even carry an old shoe or
baseball bat for protection.”
Foulke says that children often
act on assumptions based on
limited information. This is
because they haven’t matured
enough yet to alter their reactions
to cope with changed cir
cumstances. An example would be
a child who loses a key, goes to a
neighbor as instructed but finds
the neighbor isn’t home. What
should the child do except sit on the
porch, alone and unprotected, until
someone arrives?
Many children have a sibling to
share their self-care time. But this
may cause additional problems.
“Because their need to express
frustration is so great, children
alone often fight over everything
open for kids in Lancaster County
support for children alone at home,
CONTACT KIDS-LINE, a 24-hour
confidential phone line, is offered
to elementary school children in
Lancaster County. The KIDS
LINE is not meant to replace usual
emergency numbers or
established family procedures, nor
is it intended to take the place of
parental responsibility.
It is designed to help be sup
portive along with parents, in the
some of the places to keep the card
perhaps in a lunchbox, bookbag
or pocket,” Foulke says.
An emergency card kept by the
phone at home can help supply the
confidence and the means to
manage a crisis. Children should
be taught what to do in case of an
emergency, whom to call, and how
to dial a telephone. Besides the 911
number for fire, police and
medical emergencies, the card
should include parents’ work
numbers and the number of family
friend or neighbor.
“The telephone is an important
way to stay in touch,” says Foulke.
“But parents should establish
rules for its use. It’s frustrating to
get a constant busy signal when
and anything,” says the home
economist. “An older child who is
responsible for a younger one may
oversupervise or leave the sibling
alone while he or she runs off to
join friends.”
Younger children who are
oversupervised may not develop
self-care skills. Also, an older child
who is an unwilling babysitter is
likely to feel resentful. While
babysitting can be an important
lesson in responsibility, it
shouldn’t be at the expense of all of
an older child’s free time.
It is important for parents to
help their children adjust to self
care, saysFoulke. Research shows
that latchkey children most
commonly fear break-ins, physical
assault, fires, and sibling conflicts
that might result in injury or
property damage. She suggests
parents discuss these fears with
their children and develop safety
strategies. Parents should
regularly evaluate the self-care
situation and be prepared to make
other child-care arrangements if
necessary.
hope that the service will help
minimize the anxieties of both
working parents and their
children.
CONTACT KIDS-LINE is
available for elementary age
children who are home alone or
need a friend to talk to. Anyone in
Lancaster County can call collect.
KIDS-LINE will be staffed by
adults who have successfully
completed the 60-hour CONTACT
training program.
for latchkey children
trying to reach a child. Many
parents require a check-in call as
reassurance that their child has
arrived home safely,” When a
stranger calls, Foulke suggests
that children say their parents are
walking the dog, taking a nap or
simply can’t come to the phone.
Parents should also discuss what
a child alone shoulcl do if a
stranger comes to the door and
wants to come inside. They should
make the home as burglar-proof as
possible and assure the child that
this has been done, says Foulke.
The home economist also
suggests that parents help their
children set up a routine that in
cludes regular snacks, chores,
homework and playtime.
‘‘Planned activities keep children
occupied and help minimize the
fear of staying alone,” she ex-
Latch Key Link
Well, that new puppy did arrive
under our Christmas tree this
year. Our collie puppy is an
adorable furball full of energy and
we’ve enjoyed hours of playing
together. But vacation quickly
ended and I was going back to
work, leaving the puppy at home to
entertain herself until I returned.
We both suffered minor anxiety
separations, but some pre
planning helped to make it a
workable situation.
In many of our homes today,
there is a great deal more than
puppies waiting at home for
parents. Every day over six
million children are returning
home from school to an empty
house and several hours on their
hands. “Latch key” is a term for
these children who carry their own
keys and are responsible for their
own well being until their parents
arrive home from work. These
children have to contend with
situations like strangers at the
door, boredom, loneliness and
household mishaps. They must
also be prepared to deal with
emergencies such as fire, injury,
and breakins. Some of these crises
are difficult for adults to manage.
Is it asking too much of a child to
handle such incidents of domestic
life? The answer depends on the
child, the parent and the
preparation.
No child should be left alone
without first determining whether
he or she is ready for it. And that
means anticipating situations,
discussing possible reactions, and
allowing plenty of opportunities for
feedback and trial runs. Kids who
seem ready will need lots of adult
support. Parents or a backup
should be available by phone, and
a neighbor who is both willing and
usually home should be designated
for help in emergencies. Above all,
parents must be prepared to ac
cept the possibility that the cir
cumstances aren’t right or a child
is not mature enough to stay alone.
In some situations extended day
care programs at schools or adult
supervision provide the best
solution.
You must know your own child,
plains.
If friends are allowed to visit, set
up visitation rules, she says.
“Children also need a checklist of
things to do before leaving the
house. These might include turning
off lights and water, closing and
locking windows, bringing in or
putting out the dog or cat,
locking all doors and taking the
key. A child will need to get a
lunch, books and homework before
leaving in the morning.
“Be punctual,” Foulke advises
parents. “Children need to know
that they can expect you at a
certain time. Also, let them know
that it’s O.K. to feel lonely and
fearful at times. Set aside some
time to discuss the day’s events
with them. Children need a little
extra attention at the end of a day
spent alone.”
By Michelle S. Rodgers
Berks Extension
Home Economist
Your child’s level of maturity is far
more important than his
chronological age when it comes to
determining whether he is capable
of being at home alone for a few
hours.
Whether your child is at home
alone for an occasional hour or so,
one day a week, or every day, you
should review and discuss the
following instructions before the
first trial run.
Keep your key out of sight. A
child who carries a house key
should wear it on a chain under a
shirt or dress or pinned to the in
side of a pocket. Displaying a key
alerts people that the child is
alone. Leave a spare key with a
neighbor and go over the route
home to determine the amount of
time it usually takes.
Never talk to strangers or agree
to get in their cars. Tell your child
that if someone tries to insist, he or
she should run to a neighbor’s
home if possible.
Never tell anyone who calls on
the phone that you’re home alone.
Try some practice sessions with
your child on the phone and one
liners that don’t draw attention to
the fact that he is home alone.
Have a list of important phone
numbers posted by the phone.
If there is a fire, use fire escape
routes that yon have planned out
and rehearsed.
Also, you will want to make up a
list and discuss other potential
problems as they relate to your
situation. Work out a phone call
system, discipline guidelines, how
to handle strangers at the door,
first aid treatment, and a list of
friends who are allowed to visit
until you get home.
Preparing your child to stay
alone and to handle the respon
sibilities involved is an ongoing
process that actually started in
early childhood. A latch key
situation generally does assist a
child in becoming more resour
ceful, self confident and grown up.
When a child feels that you trust
him, he Jeels good about himself.
You may not realize it, but your
child is learning to become in
dependent, a step toward
adulthood.