814-Lancister Farming, Saturday November 24,1984
ITHACA, N.Y. Money cer
tainly doesn’t grow on trees, but
some children may think it does, if
parents don’t manage the amount
of money children receive and how
they receive it.
Children obtain money through
allowances, cash gifts, earnings,
and “the dole.” Each way has
advantages and disadvantages
when it comes to teaching children
about money management.
Combining these different
methods, though, may be the best
way to educate children about
money, according to Josephine
Swanson and Jeanne Hogarth,
consumer educators at the Cornell
Cooperative Extension.
“An allowance is a child’s share
of family income to be used as the
child chooses on certain defined,
set expenditures,” Swanson ex
plains. “With an allowance,
children can leam to plan ex
penditures, allocate funds, and set
aside money for future use.”
Many children begin receiving
an allowance around age 6 or 8,
Swanson says. “An allowance
should be enough to cover the
expenses a child is supposed to
pay, and have some amount left
over for discretionary purchases.
It should not be so big, however,
that a child purchases things
without having to make either-or
decisons.”
An allowance can help children
leam that money is limited, that
income must cover needs first, and
that the famiy’s financial situation
S a
XA
Communication is essential to happy families
NEWARK, Del. Is trouble
brewing in your family? Everyone
may seem fine to you, but family
members often keep their true
feelings hidden, says University of
Delaware extension home
economist Debbie Amsden. To
really know what is happening in
your family, it’s necessary to
understand the feelings, needs,
and patterns that underlie
everyday events.
Every family has its share of
problems, Amsden points out.
Untroubled families usually
survive no matter what hardships
occur, but troubled families may
fall apart.
Researchers have found four
main differences between troubled
and untroubled familes. These
concern self-image, honesty of
communication, flexibility, and
caring.
In untroubled families, the
members view themselves
positively. They feel good about
themselves, and trust their own
abilities.
In troubled families, the
members have poor self-concepts
and doubt their own worth.
Members of untroubled families
communicate honestly and
clearly, Amsden says. They relate
to people inside and outside the
family in an open and hopeful
manner.
In contrast, communication in
troubled families .is indirect,
Teach
children to manage
affects the amount of money each
member can use,” Swanson adds.
When initiating the allowance,
and at regular stages as children
mature, parents should teach
children how to set up a budget,
keep records, and set money aside
for saving. “Gear the information
to the age and ability of the in
dividual child, but any child old
enough to have money is old
enough to begin learning money
management,” Swanson says.
Giving money to children as they
ask for it, the “dole,” can be ap
propriate, Swanson and Hogarth
say, especially with very young
children, or older children with
certain expenses, such as an an
nual school fee.
However, the dole system does
not provide the educational ex
perience of managing an
allowance, and may also harm a
child’s self-esteem from having to
ask or even plead—for money.
Parqpts should establish ground
rules for time, place, amounts, and
items to be purchased when giving
money on the dole, Hogarth says.
“Cash gifts to children are
theirs,” Hogarth • explains,
“however, parents can discuss
with children how the money may
be used.”
“Earnings” for the chores
children do, on the other hand,
should be considered separately
from their allowance.
“Most child development and
money management experts agree
that it is not a good idea to tie an
allowance to chores,” Hogarth
vague, and sometimes not really
honest. Members of such families
go through life blaming, fearing, or
placating others, both inside and
outside the family unit.
Rules in untroubled familes are
flexible, human, appropriate, and
subject to change. Members of
these families are genuine, loving,
and alive with enthusiasm. They
listen to each other with interest
and concern.
Members of troubled families
often relate to one another as if by
a rule book, holding rigid ideas
about how they must feel and act.
These rules are inflexible, non
negotiable, and everlasting.
Family members respond to one
another as society says they should
respond, rather than as they truly
feel at a given moment.
Amsden says members of un
troubled families appear relaxed.
They look at one another as they
speak. They feel comfortable
expressing their joys as well as
their disappointments. They speak
out in clear voices.
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money
says. “However, because our
culture associates work with
money, parents may want to try a
base allowance plus ‘wages’ for
extra chores.”
When children are old enough to
work outside the home, they still
need assistance and guidance in
money management, Hogarth and
Swanson recommend. In their
teens, they should begin
developing longer-term financial
plans and an adult awareness of
money, work, time and their own
needs.
“Cash gifts to children are
theirs,” Hogarth explains,
however, parents can discuss
with children how the money mav
be used.”
“Earnings” for the chores
children do, on the other hand,
should be considered separately
from their allowance.
“Most child development and
money management experts agree
that it is not a good idea to tie an
allowance to chores,” Hogarth
says. “However, because our
culture associates work with
money, parents may want to try a
base allowance plus ‘wages’ for
extra chores.”
When children are old enough to
work outside the home, they still
need assistance and guidance in
money management, Hogarth and
Swanson recommend. In their
teens, they should begin
developing longer-term financial
plans and an adult awareness of
money, work, time and their own
needs.
Members of troubled families
may treat each other with extreme
politeness, yet the atmosphere in
such homes often seems chilly.
Family members appear nervous.
Their faces are sullen or blank.
Instead of looking at each other,
the look past each other, or look at
the floor. Their voices are either
harsh or barely audible. The
people in these families are not
friends. They stay together
because of duty, finding little joy in
one another’s accomplishments.
Instead, they merely try to tolerate
each other.
With time, effort, and perhaps
professional family counseling,
Amsden says it is possible for
troubled families to become more
loving and nurturing toward one
another. Learning how to listen,
praise, care, and share with
members of your family takes
daily practice, she notes. But once
you’ve learned these new habits,
the rewards will be well worth the
effort.
Entertaining A
Sick Child
The change in weather brings
out winter coats, storm doors and
often a battlea against colds, flu,
and other assorted illnesses. When
a child in your family is sick in bed,
it is sometimes a toss-up to decide
who feels worse, you or the child.
I remember the year that my
sister and I were sharing the
mumps (or maybe it was the
measels)! Anyway, our mother
had declared resting in bed
“quietly” as a part of the cure. My
sister Sue and I shared a room with
twin beds in it. I remember that
our confinement led us to try using
the beds for trampolines. That was
fun until the bed boards fell out and
the bed went through the frame.
Taking care of a sick child in
volves more than good medicine.
Parents are called upon using a
variety of resources to fill up the
hours in the day of a sick child
(which may seem more like 36
hours than 24 hours).
Books can be the number one
staple for your repertoire of ac
tivities. At this time, you’ll
probably be requested to read your
child’s favorites again and again
until you can do it with your eyes
closed. (Maybe you already can).
To ward off boredom for both of
you, go to the library and get a few
books that your child can read to
herself, and a longer children’s
story that you read to her in
chapters. Short, half-hour reading
sessions scattered throughout the
day will keep the suspense of the
story high and sharpen your child’s
listening skills as well.
What other activities will keep
her busy? Be sure to evaluate the
possibilities in terms of your own
needs, too. Are you anxious to
wash red and blue paint out of the
sheets? How long will it take you to
find all the tinker toys between the
layers of covers? The best way to
keep the recovery period running
smoothly is to vary the activities.
Read her a story; give her
something to do on her own, do
something together; have com
plete quiet time; watch some
television; have a snack and so on.
It’s also helpful for the child to
By Michelle S. Rodgers
Lancaster Extension
Home Economist
focus on doing things for other
people rather than constantly
thinking about “how sick I am.”
Provide paper and crayons on a
bed tray for drawing pictures for
Grandpa and Aunt Sara. Make a
craft item to hang up or give away.
Of course, stuffed animals and
dolls are good bed companions for
the sick child, as are a play
telephone, a hand mirror, puppets,
and plastic cars or trucks.
One mother I know always keeps
a “sick box.” It is filled with toys
that are appropriate for using in
bed. This is the only time that the
children use these toys, so the
excitement of something new helps
to entertain them. Dig some of the
seldom used toys out of the bottom
of the toy box and make them into
your own “sick box.”
When a child is sick at home,
toys and activities are mainly for
entertainment purposes. However,
when a child is seriously ill and
must be hospitalized, toys can take
on a much significant meaning.
Being in the hospital can be a
frightening experience for a child,
who often associates it with pain
and isolation from his home and
family.
Presenting hospitalization in a
non-threatening way will help your
child cope with it better, and
specific toys can be the key. Start
with a book about a child going to
the hospital. Check with the
librarian, there are a number of
these books available, and they
will help your child understand
that hospitalization is merely an
interruption of daily life and not
punishment. A play hospital bed or
doctor’s bag may make your child
more comfortable with the real
thing. Once as child has mastered
this miniature version, he can
usually apply that to real life.
Illness is no fun for anyone. Your
instincts, common sense, and
patience along with the doctor’s
help will help your child recover
quickly and keep you on your feet.
I hope that these ideas will be
helpful to you the next time that
your sick children are using the
bed as a trampoline. I wish you a
healthy winter!