C2B—Lancaster Fanning, Saturday, July 11,1981
Maryland officials
BY DONNA TOMMELLEO
BALTILMORE, Md. The two combatants eyed each other across the
concrete battlefield.
Excitement buzzed like electricity in the air as a crowd gathered,
waiting to cheer the warriors to victory.
No, it’s not a scene from Ben Hur or even a highly-touted boxing
match but rather a fiercely competetive milking contest between
Baltimore’s mayor William Donald Schaefer and Maryland State
Comptrollor Louis Goldstein.
The contest, which appropriately took place on the last day of June
National Dairy Month, was one of the various activities highlighting the
National Holstein Convention in Baltimore, last week.
Less than nine hours before the contest, in front of delegates at the
Annual Meeting, Mayor Schaefer admitted he had been practicing for
months and was ready to face his opponent, “Icy Fingers Goldstein.”
That night at Hopkins Plaza in downtown Baltimore, the two men
squared-off or rather ‘ ‘squeezed-off’ ’ and the battle began.
Cries of “fixed contest” and “fresh cow” erupted from the crowd as
milk streamed heavily from every spigot of the mayor’s bovine
teammate.
Goldstein’s partner had difficulty leaving all four feet on the ground
and consequently the Comptroller’s bucket filled with more hoof than
milk.
At the end of the three-minute time limit the milking ceased and the
crowd and contestants waited with breathless anticipation as the final
results were announced.
Mayor Schaefer’s practice paid off as he swept by Goldstein, 8 to 11/2,
That’s ounces not pounds.
And they’re off! Mayor Schaefer handies the situation well
and jumps in front by a few dribbles.
Holstein convention scenes
have hard, hard
time with the ‘soft, soft drink’
“It was nothing, folks. I just took the bull by the horns,
I mean the cow by the udder." Mayor Schaefer displays his
winning form.
Mayor Schaefer (right) and State Comptroller Goldstein
(left) exchange a pre-contest handshake. (But don’t squeeze
too hard fellas, those are hand are fighting machines.)
"Where’s the ON switch?” Louis Goldstein appears baffled
since his four-faucet wonder didn’t come with directions.