Fanring, Saturday/April 7,1979
The real scoop on the
wind-driven tractor
This may be disappointing news to some,
and no news at all to others, but the truth is
that Emil Stoltzzug did not solve the
energy crisis and he doesn’t own a wind
driven tractor.
Yes, it was another hoax - an April
Fool’s Day story which was designed to
tickle your imaginations and funnybones.
As many of you know, it wasn’t the first
time such a story appeared in this
newspaper. On April 1, 1977, you may
remember. Dr. Wolfgang von Steinfelder
discovered that moon dust sterilized bis
pet rocks, and he subsequently began
marketing a product which would end rock
picking forever. Wouldn’t that have been
nice if it were true. The stones in your
fields would no longer be able to reproduce
and a lot of hard work would be
eliminated.
Then, a year ago, Hans Hubschrauber
didn’t let wet fields bother him. He was
spreading manure with a conventioanl
spreader suspended beneath a helicopter.
Yes sir, he had it made. He got the jump on
every other farmer in the state. In reality,
all he spread was laughter.
Emil Stoltzzug is as real as Dr. von
Steinfelder and Hans Hubschrauber. Or, to
put it another way, none of them exist, and
neither do their inventions.
But laughter is real, and who doesn’t
enjoy a good laugh once in a while? Of
tentimes, I believe, it’s what we need more
of to help move us out of depressing
situations. The news is already top-heavy
with reports that deflate the spirit. In
flation, the energy crunch, and most
recently the disaster at Three Mile Island,
are just a few examples.
With Free Stall Housing modernization
Laminated Rafters are the preferred choice
Sunlight and proper ventilation without
fans combine to provide a desirable working
environment, heat and light for winter
months and a healthier place for animals
And a lot more space for the money
Structural
Imagination
Today’* Farming
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the April-
Fool's Day story. I know a number of you
had looked forward to this year’s tall tale
after having had a good chuckle in
previous years.
And, by the way, the picture of the wind
driven tractor was not real either. The
“engine components” were in reality a
squirt oil can with a spring wrapped
around it, a painted 10-ounce jelly jar, the
top of a garden sprayer, and some rubber
tubing. And the “box” sitting on the frame
of the tractor front was once the muffler of
the original tractor picture. Some of you
may have guessed that last wfeek. If you
didn’t, you can recognize the components
if you inspect the accompanying picture
closely.
I simply assembled the common
household items, photographed them, and
sized the resulting picture to fit the
tractor.
As for the picture of Professor Hof
fenpuff, we’ll keep his real identity a
secret, but his name should have offered a
clue that the story was fabricated.
Judging by the response we got here-,
many enjoyed the spoof, a few did not, and
some may onlyjjow be finding out what it
was all about. At any rate, it was all for
fun.
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LAMINATED RAFTERS &
•ft* WOOD ROOF TRUSSES
RICHLAND RDI Rcnncyivan* 170(7
OAKLAND AOS Maryland 21550
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High flotation applicator spreads liquid waste.
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Liquid waste injections reach 8 inches below ground
Northeastern ag
(Continued from Page 110)
Agriculture will give priority
to the recommendations of
the Northeast Agricultural
Leadership Assembly during
their Summer meeting in
Albany, New York, July 8-10,
1979, it was announced by
Massachusetts Com
missioner of Food and
Agriculture Frederic
Wmthrop, Jr.
“NEASDA will consider
the recommendations and
make plans to work
aggressively toward the
implementation of those
which accurately reflect the
consensus of our Nor
theastern States,” Wmthrop
said.
The NALA meeting con
cluded discussion of major
issues facing agriculture
here, signalling the begin
ning of planning and policy
shaping designed to
strengthen agriculture and
improve rural life.
A complete record of the
NALA deliberations will be
forwarded to the' par
ticipating states, and final
recommendations will be
reviewed by the NALA
executive board.
The Executive Board
represents a composite of
the various elements of
agriculture in the Northeast,
and its membership includes
farmers, agricultural
economists, scientists,
government officials and
rural life specialists from
each of the ten participating
states.
W
We’re equipped to solve
Your liquid animal waste
disposal problems.
n
u
is.inc.
recommendations on policy,
government and research
being forwarded by NALA
have been given priority on
the NEASDA agenda for the
summer meeting. The
decision to include the
the
810 GRO’s sub-surface injection
method injects liquid animal waste
8 inches below ground.
High flotation, high volume ap
plication equipment operates
quickly in almost any weather
without compacting fields.
No run-off or odor problems.
Conserves valuable ammonia
nitrogen.
And we do it all at a reasonable cost.
(810 GRO can even provide transpor
tation service if nearby fields are not
available for spreading.)
land application specialists
P.O. Box 209
Annapolis, Md. 21404
(301) 266-6334
recommendations on the
agenda was made at a
breakfast meeting attended
by eight of the ten Nor
theastern Agriculture
Secretaries and Com
missioners.