At the time of our Fair, there had been no
objections made by cither those in authority,
or those who claim to have in charge the public
morals, to the system of raflles, which had
been extensively used in most all fairs, both
for the Church and other public charities.
AVe therefore made large use of that means of
disposing of articles of large value, and re
alized many thousands of dollars by it, more
than we should otherwise have done.
Everything received and sold at the Fair
was altogether for the benefit of the Fair.
Nothing was received on commission, nor sold
that a portion only of the price received should
be for the Fair. Every article received and
sold was a free gift.
SERGEANT MILLER ON THE SANITARY.
lluckliberut, Pa., [Oil the Mcrryhind
Border,] May 15,18,C0,4.
To the Editor of the Daly Fare.
Respectd Sir
I have all ready Communicated to yo in De
tale how i cleered out my Stoar by hole Sale
Bestowing the entire contcncc on the San
iterry by the pcrlitencss of Miss Elizth. Mor
ris witch per Idleness was rather a Ilevi
ness on me for a few minets the ncckst Morn
ing wen i fownd that her Sweetness had
carried away even a smawl privet bottle of
Bitters [kep for Medisinel pcrpcsscs
soally.]
‘Lett it go!’ i exclamed seeting myself on
the Counter i know as slmre as shooting
that it wil be aplideto the mouth of sum bravo
fellow in distres i have seen the Time my
Self wen i wood have giv all my l’ostlc
Curency for fore thirds of two haves of it
“My tern to day and yourn to morrow” like as
the Been Vine sed wen it grew round the l’un
kin Stem Sudenly i herd a Sound as of
Stepps gratin on the Gravvle witch it was
and Old man Morris father of betsey
Kntrd. with a jeniel glo on his feechers.
‘Has tlicr been a Rade of Rebels did
they clare ye out Sonny lef ye nathin t’
bless yerself weth [The oahl man cums
frum oaver the Border.]
‘Nothin much that’s on Record,’ wus
my licroick rcpply.
Lookin me very stidaly in the Fasc i
may say Stearnly the Oald man perdusd
from his l’ockit the Bottl of Bitters witch had
skedaddld. With a Twincle in his Eye, witch
sloaly beemed into a smile over his tand and
rinkled fasc he sod:
“ I savd that frum the inemy, Sonny they
couldent chate the old man, haw, haw, haw !
Yer Poppy stood by yer, Sonny, an filld it up
fresh from the barl.”
Knowin the ctiket of good sosicty i at wunst
extraetd two tumbclers from a closet as we
embibed he remarkd: “I’ve been scoldin
OUB LY IF'JYIR lE.
Betsy, Sarjint given her awful misery
fur robbin yer. I punisht her, I tell yer.”
“ And if any body else had done it,” says I,
“I’d a given him the best one handed wallopin
this county ever perduccd.”
“Easy Sarjint,” ses the old man, “Easy
over the stones ! But sense you hcv give away
yer stock, sumthin must be done. Providence
oilers pays its dels, Sonny interest on in
terest but then it gives a mitey long note
sumtimes. Now it was my gal put ye in
for this, Sarjint, and I must help make it
strate.”
So it cum out that the old man offered to
lone me the munny to get goin agane in twist
better stile than befor like as the snaik
sed wen he got a new suit and talkin it all
over, we got over to his Ilowse to brcckfust—
witch was a site to beeliold, with Betsey and
the old woman, her mother a waiten.—So we
tailed and tailed till we most arangd to go on
to Philadelphy together me to by goods,
and Betsy to sec the Sannitery peeple.
But the old woman was down on this manoo
vcr. In vane did the old man exclame in his
perswasevest notes : “ Oily, sell is just was dti
alia well ye wanted hast,” meeuing thereby,
“ Old Lady that is just what you've always
wanted to do.” In vane did Betsey and my
self pore forth our best Dutch for wunst
“blarney was of no use,” as Gineral Swipes
of Harrisburg sed wen he was axidentally
called a gentleman Sist nix dort yut zu
essa,” “ There is nothing there fit to eat,”
was her constent reply. Suddenly an
idea seamed to eluminate the mind of her
daughter, and flyen to a corner she perdused
a bil witch the old Mommy after she had
got on her spectacles found to be as follows :
RESTAURANT DEPARTMENT
GREAT CENTRAL FAIR
IN All) OF Till;
U. S . SANITARY COMMISSION,
To be held in Philadelphia in June next.
PENNSYLVANIA KITCHEN
Mrs. 11. P. M. Biukuxiuhu, Chairman,
The Committee for the Pennsylvania Kitchen
solicit donations of the good tilings peculiar to the
Kitchens of our State.
Ofcnbrod, Hlau-bergc-tkee,
Zwieback, Micrcliaum,
Zuckcr-prctzels, Pfctfcr-kuchcn,
Pretzels, Eeb-kuehcn,
Waffles, Smear-lease,
Krollcrs, Aplel-fleeders,
l'astnaclit, Smmncr-wurst,
Trichter-kuchcn, Kaso,
Noodles, Lot werk,
Damp-knauf und Schnitz, &c., &c., &c.
‘Jlfeina techs !’ cride the old lady ‘what
does it all meen?’ She spoke Dutch
witch i put into pewr inglish. “Here is
nuthin but good old Dutch vittles. ....you dont
say the Sannetary folks up in Philadelphy
feeds on them?” She farely wept with
egsftcrrcnt Att the new sensatien, like as the
Apcl sed when he found hisself in the sider
press.
“ Ja Mutter,” ses Betsey “they aint to
have ennything else to etc, wile the Fare lasts
eg sept Ofcn-kooken, Spcle mit Eier and such
like.”
“The reeson is Mam,” ses I “that
they’ve gone the rounds of all sorts of
furren cligances and daily-kisses Frentch
and Italien and Afriken cookery an now
by way of the strongest sort of a novelty have
concluded to try ther own native vittles sutch
ns is maid in thcr own Stait at ther own dores,
an soald in ther own markit.” ‘ It’s my pri
vet opinyun that they’ll find the best cums
last’ like as the jackas sed wen he cum
late to the party.”
‘Blessins on that Missus Birkenbine !’ cride
the Oald lady “I must rcely go up to
Philadelphy, Betsey my deer, an see her with
these oald eyes, an help her with the good oald
Dutch cookin. It wonnt be rite Ime afeerd if
I aint ther an I know a heep of good
things that the young fokes now-a-days has
forgott Sell is wahr
All day long Mommy Morris did nothing
but talk abowt Missus Birkinbine, an poak
about, lookin up things to taik to the pore
starved soals in Philadelphy. I looked in that
afternoon an found a full convcntikle of oald
Dutch wimmin seated around her, each bizzy
with sum ansient and astoundin Preperatien
all talkin Dutch to tliat degree, you’d hev
thought Yourself in a Sawmil in a gale of
wind.
To the mitey and stoopendos efforts
witch i made in compeny with Betsy a
raisin suplize for the Sanitary modesty
forbids me to Elude A little tribewt witch
was pade to me wil however be Described
in my neckst letter.
Your Freind
IsAian Miller.
Late Sergt. Co. C. 941st Rcgt. P. V.
THE TURKISH DIVAN.
A meditative smoker in this cozy apartment,
where one might almost believe in the Koran
and forget the Western world, acquainted with
the hook-and-eye letters of Arabic, has trans
lated one of the “arabesques”—flourishes and
all—thus:
Fatima’s eyes inflamed his heart;
lie fed the fire—he was hut man—
Tobacco bought: “ All ends in smoke,”
Thus spoke, and entered the Divan,
To which an indignant lady who has just
read the MS., replies:
There's where he ought to go—the Turk!
Nor to Fatima’s love aspire;
Of battle he might smell the smoke,
But he could not, I’m sure, stand fire!