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Recap, from page 1
made, during which time
commuters accustomed to
their’ own septic’ ‘tanks over-
flowing mercilessly laughed
in their faces.
2.) John Zaffis Gives Ghost
Tour Of Campus: Follow-
ing John Zaffis’ 957" ghost
tour of the Mont Alto cam-
pus, rumors exploded regard-
ing the goings-on in
Wiestling student center that
night. Having personally at-
tended the ghost tour, I can
assure the reader that, yes, a
loud bang did resound from
the music room. Also, as a
certified expert on the para-
normal, I am qualified to de-
clare that this means that
Mont Alto is being haunted
by no less than seven ghosts.
1.) General Studies Almost
Blows Up, Or Something:
THIS SHIT WAS CRAZY.
Pretty much the whole damn
Chambersburg fire depart-
ment showed up after smoke
was seen drifting from an air
conditioner in third-floor
General Studies. The entire
building was evacuated, as
rumors spread of a gas leak. 1
purchased an ice cream sand-
wich and watched the events
unfold, with little concern
about jeopardizing of my own
personal safety due to my
proximity to the “gas leak.”
Regardless, General Studies
did not, in fact, blow up. Up-
on my last query into these
events, Residence Assistants
had not been informed of ex-
actly what happened. I per-
sonally suspect the malfunc-
tioning of a giant nuclear re-
actor hidden beneath General
Studies, which powers a bur-
ied doomsday machine main-
tained by the CIA which is, in
turn, covertly running the
Mont Alto campus.
Animal Life
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3. Genus & Species: Felis lynx
6. Nocturnal animal, marsupial, looks like a bear
9. Most common of Africa's antelopes
11. Large orange primate from the tops of the rainforest
12. Largest land carnivore in the world
13. Tallest land mammal
14. Lives in the Arctic, long tusks, bristly mustache
15. Largest of toothed whales, 65 ft in length
Down
1. Class & Order: Proboscidea Elephantidae
2. Reddish gold fur, Panthera tigris tigris
4. Largest American wildcat
5. Striped face, ringed tail; hide the garbage cans!
7. Only lives in the wild in the Zaire River basin, largest primate
8. Small fish, large teeth, dangerous, found in South Africa
10. Genus & Species: Canis lupis arctos
16. Huge, hairy, elephant-like creatures, extinct for 10,000 years