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Poetry Spring 2010
: ~ Questions of Regret :
By Brushaud Stanislaus
Dark in the shadows I sit in the rain.
Under the tree where I made my name,
| : Water drips from my face mixing with my tears.
¥ : : All T hear are cries for help no more chants no more cheers.
I cut my arm to rid of the bad blood tear after tear,
; year after year, enough is enough I walk out the door and I do no plan on returning. The road I’ve been on has been too bumpy and I’m on
di : : the road to failure.
It just hit me that I haven’t been in the light for so long.
I close my eyes and I can feel her smile like the sun beating down on my chest.
But as soon as I open my eyes thinking it’s all real I’m back in the dark and I’m all alone.
why is this world so cold? Where did everyone go? Voices in my ear, only visions in my head they won’t go away and won’t leave me
alone.
Trying to call for help but there’s no service on the phone.
Where did I start? How did I get here? Why didn’t I take the blue pill when I had the chance? I asked for the real world got screwed over
: and ended up in hell.
When I walk in the crowd it’s like there all in fast forward and the pain I have within causes me to walk slow.
Still in the dark I get closer to the edge of the cliff where I put my life in front of the world.
My heart pounds a million times a minute and it get harder to swallow. -
I know what lies below me is death but there’s no possible way I can go above.
Crazy, how I came to the end driven to my death because I destroyed the love.
I’m sorry I caused you pain, I’m sorry I took life as a game but it doesn’t matter now, because I’m going into the dust.
No need to cry I know you will be okay but I’ve seen the path of my life and it went nowhere.
But to death so I might as well save you the trouble of having to cry because of my bull and jump into the fire where Satan tries to pull.
Is that why I like the cold? Is that why I stopped bleeding? Is it because I’m already dead inside? But it’s just taking awhile to reach my
skin.
Did I die in my sleep and now trapped in this nightmare? I don’t want to hurt anymore I don’t want to hurt you, but I see I need to change
who I was growing to be I know that it can work I know we can overcome. It may take some time but I know you’re the only one. Right
in the nick of time as I jumped, I heard your voice and I look back and I see your face crying telling me not to. I tell you that I must for
you wish not to be with me and without your love in my life living has no point, I've seen the damage; the damage that I have caused you.
I broke your heart and hurt you so much I’ve caused too much damage in this world. Your kiss, your touch, girl you know I'm missing
you.
But you got my heart and I don’t want you to let. go I know.
I was tripping and I have to live with all this regret, but the point of the matter is that I don’t want to be without you, and my life is like a
suicidal night if you are not in it the light will never come.
Though once you’re in my life the sun comes out and the grass comes back flowers into bloom and I grow happy but without you there,
the sun goes away the rain comes to stay.
Everything ! touch burns to ash all the memories that are left are the burning past.