BY EVAN NELSON
Staff Writer
Zack and Miri Make a
Porno is a romantic comedy
that was written and directed by
Kevin Smith. Smith is the mas-
termind behind “cult classics”
like Clerks and Clerks Two,
Mallrats, and, who could forget,
Dogma. Zack and Miri Make a
Porno stars, Seth Rogen
(Knocked Up) as Zack Brown
and Elizabeth Banks (SZither) as
Miriam “Miri” Linky. Zack and
Miri are platonic best friends,
who decide that the only way to
get out of their mountain of debt
is by making a porno. Zack calls
upon his coffee shop co-worker
Delany, played by Craig Robin-
son (The Office), to help fund
Zack and Miri’s outrageous
porno called “Star Whores.”
“Star Whores” is a spoof on the
widely known movie Star Wars.
Production on “Star Whores”
was cut short due to the build-
ing being completely destroyed
and the man responsible for
renting the building to them was
not authorized to and nowhere
to be found. As Zack, Miri, De-
lany, and the crew ponder a
place to shot a film, Zack re-
members the newly placed se-
curity camera in the coffee shop
and decides to reshoot a new
porno entitled “Swallow my
Cockuccino” in the coffee shop.
I don’t know, if it was the crazy
boy band music or the fact that
this scene seemed to be an hour
long, but I was really impressed
with the way Smith chose to
show Zack and Miri making
love in a porno. Unlike other
romantic comedies, it wasn’t the
first date or the first kiss when
the two main characters fell in
love. No, Smith chose to take it
a step further and make it their
first time. Later on that night,
porn star Stacy, played by Katie
Morgan (an actual porn star),
asks Miri “How did it felt to
make love?” and if it would she
be ok if she “practiced” with
Zack. Miri, who is now obvi-
ously disgruntled about Zack
and Stacy, confronts Zack the
next day about his relationship
with Stacy. Zack then spills out
his built up feelings about his
best friend, Miri, and how noth-
ing happened between him and
Stacy. It’s done I’m sure of it,
Editor-in-Chief... ...
_. Julia Ritchey
Staff Writers... ... .....
..Rad Bennett,
AVISOF:. vii seen vie
....Peter Dendle
but no four months go by and
Zack has moved out of the
apartment. Zack is now being
shown getting shot in the nads
BY TIFFANY THOMAS
Columnist
It is well-known that some-
times people just can’t help
who they fall in love with. It is
agreeable that sometimes love
is not enough, adventure, trust
and excitement are sometimes
needed, depending who and
what your values are. Love is
supposed to sweep you off your
feet, when you are around that
person nothing else should mat-
ter. You are supposed to create
your own world and everything
outside of that should not mat-
ter. This is one way some look
at love.
Problem
I am in a relationship with
an older, married man. I don’t
know if this relationship is for a
next life time or worth the
drama in this one. I am also
torn between my ex and the
older, married guy. I need ad-
vice to sway me in the right
with a paint ball gun; only to be
found by Delany. Delany ex-
plains how Miri was so over-
whelmed by Zack’s confession
of love that she quits the movie.
Zack then runs back to the
apartment to fall in love with
Miri. Now, this is a great ro-
mance movie. I like how Smith
uses the phrase “Make a
direction.
My ex is my first love and
I will always love him, but he
lacks excitement and spontane-
ity. Moreover, I can’t trust him
completely. My current lover
(the married man) is on the
verge of a divorce and our rela-
tion was initially an accident.
It’s as though we are soul
mates. We are both the same
sign, we are very alike, and we
understand each other very
well. In short, our personalities
are a perfect fit. He is adven-
turous, exciting, handsome,
spontaneous, and most impor-
tantly, he loves and trust me
without doubt. The bottom line
is that he is my ideal man, but
he is married.
Solution
Well for starters, the easy
part is part is being able to
identify when something is
over. Thus it seems as though
your ex is not the guy for you.
He does not seem to portray
Hn roefive.com
Porno,” to attract young, dirty
minds such as myself.
If you're looking for a porn
movie, stay home and Xtube it
(just not on Penn State’s inter-
net) because this is a love story
with out all of the things that
make me hate love. Nonethe-
less, I give Zack and Miri Make
a Porno 4 out of 5 stars.
your ideals. As the old saying
goes, “without trust you have
nothing.” The hard part is that
I can’t give a precise answer to
whether or not you should con-
tinue your relationship with the
older, married man, but I can
tell you what I would do. IfI
were you, I would put the rela-
tionship on hold just until he
sorts out his marriage. If he
really loves you he should have
no problem respecting your
wishes. All things come to
those who wait. Also, this will
give you a chance to see if he is
really a man of his word
(whether or not he will get the
divorce). I think-at this point
you will now be free to love
and be with your “soul mate”
without all the drama if he gets
the divorce. Love conquers all
or at lease it should. Good luck.