oo 5 25 B25
The Fourth Wall
page 7
By Levi Snyder
Staff Writer
Let’s clear something up. In my
past articles, I believe that I may
have come off as some what of a
snobby critic. I have previously
bashed big action films and summer
block busters and hailed more
mature films. This is because I
expected more from these films, and
they simply didn’t deliver.
However, that does not mean that
I do not appreciate films that are
exactly what they claim to be; big,
dumb, and very entertaining.
Going to see Snakes on a Plane
was a great afternoon at the movies
because I wasn’t confused about
what kind of movie I was about to
see. It looked silly and absurd and
it delivered on ‘both counts. This
made it very fun. During spring
break, I had the privilege of seeing
two films that prove that this
formula works.
The first craptastic film I
saw was 10,000 B.C. From early
previews, I was under the
impression that the film was a big,
rousing period epic. However, the
Sport Analysis:
more previews I saw, the more I
began to think that it was just an
expensive mash up of movies like
Apocolypto with some mammoths
and saber tooth tigers thrown in.
My second assumption proved to
be correct. 10,000 B.C. is the story
of a tribe of hunters who have are
given one last chance to kill a
mammoth and provide for their
people before these animals leave
their land forever. Not only will
killing a mammoth provide food,
but the tribesman who slays the
beast will be able to have his pick
of the women of the tribe. Dilai, a
tribesman who is in love with
Evolet, the most beautiful girl in the
village, is determined to win her.
The mammoth hunt offers some
amazing special effects, but also a
lot of laughs as the hunters hang
from a net on the mammoth’s back
and are tossed around like rag dolls.
Dilai slays the beast and wins the
hand of Evolet, but she along with
many others tribe’s people are
captured by an Egyptian like
people who are hell bent on making
them their slaves. From here, the
movie hits every cliché imaginable.
The tribesmen who were not
captured go out after the others.
They cross snow covered
mountains, Lord of the Rings style.
Then, they must travel through
thick jungle while being stalked by
pre-historic ostriches, Jurassic
Park style. Finally, Dilai and the
others must join up with another
tribe in order to plan an attack on
the large army and win freedom for
their. people. Brave Heart,
anyone? The film borrows from so
many exceptional films that it is
hard not too like it at least a little
bit. Sure, it is unoriginal and the
acting is terrible, but who needs
acting and originality in an action
film? The special effects are quite
good and despite the absurdity of
it all, the film is always
entertaining. 10,000 B.C. is no
master piece, but it is an enjoyable
little flick
The second film that I
saw was Never Back Down, the
story of a teen who must stand up
to a school bully by learning martial
arts and discovering his inner
strength. Now, most of us have
seen this movie when it was called
The Karate Kid, but it is a rule in
Hollywood that you never let a
good thing die. Though it is not
every note that the 1984 classic did.
The lead, Jake Tyler (Sean Faris),
moves with is family from a small
town in Iowa to Los Angeles,
California. He has trouble making
friends, but falls for a local girl who
is dating the school bully, Ryan.
Ryan beats the crap out of him ata
party and Jake goes to a gym to
seek martial arts training. Now,
though no one can possibly
generate as much charm as Mr.
Miyagi, Gladiator’s Dijmon
Honsou does his best as a mixed
martial arts instructor who takes
Jake under his wing. He teaches
him that violence is not the answer
and that martial arts is about
discipline and confidence building.
However, it is inevitable that Jake
will fight Ryan and prove that he is
the better man. Though it’s hard to
match The Karate Kid, the film
does offer some amazing displays
of mixed martial arts and a strong
performance from its star, Sean
Faris. Also, Amber Heard could not
be more perfectly cast as the
California girl who catches Jake’s
eye. Her lines are cheesy and her
acting is mediocre at best. But due
to her natural beauty, her words are
of little importance. She is basic arm
candy for our hero and she fits the
part very well. On top of that, the
film offers the kind of classic
from this kind of movie, and the
sound track is an effective mash
up of current rock and rap tunes.
Never Back Down won’t be on any
top ten lists this year, but it does
offer a lot of fun and a timeless
story about facing your fears and
standing up for what is right.
At a time when most
students are on spring break, these
films give audiences just that; a
break. They are an escape from
deep, involving films. They are
loud, dumb and wildly entertaining.
I am a film critic who is always
searching for a deeper meaning in
a film, but some times, there isn’t
one. Sometimes films are simply
ninety minute pieces of throw
away entertainment, and as long
as they offer the kind of fun that
these two films do, I’m all for it.
By Tony Arnold
Sports Editor
This has been my third season
watching the NCAA men’s
basketball tournament. Yes, only
back on the spectacular fun I’ve
a little regretful) that I have not
a i
since I was old enough to
comprehend the aesthetics of
athletics.
It is sort of odd when I
recall my “pre-tournament” years.
Iremember NCAA basketball fans
in high school freaking out about
one team or another’s performance
in the tournament—the
tremendous pandemonium over
Bucknell knocking off Kansas a few
years back is always salient in my
mind—and I remember my trouble
comprehending what all the fuss
was about. Basketball as a sport
was wholly unattractive to me, so
imagine the struggle I faced
discovering the appeal of a 63-
game tournament comprised of a
bunch of amateurs who often gain
access through good fortune rather
than perseverance during the
regular season. -(Syracuse’s
unlikely run through the Big East
tournament in 2006 comes to mind
here.) In my senior year of high
school in the year 2006, however, I
discovered what has now become
a veritable centerpiece to my
March experience.
I gained my introduction
to March Madness via a bracket
competition at my high school.
Each guy who wanted to join
submitted a dollar, filled out a
bracket, and prayed for a
tremendous amount of luck to win
him the pot (I came to find out that
skill rarely provides a solid bulwark
in bracket competition). Obviously,
I was going on almost nothing, so
I did what I do best: research. I
watched ESPN bracket specials, I
scoured the internet, I looked up
statistics: essentially I tried to
become an instant expert. It almost
worked, too. I picked three out of
the final four that year, but as
precocious as I thought myself to
would win the first of two
consecutive national
championships. Bummer.
I keep coming back,
however, and I think that is just one
reason why the tournament’s
nickname is appropriate. Not only
does madness lay in the
unpredictability of the tournament
itself (a la George Mason’s final
four run); it also dwells in the minds
of its patrons. The anticipation of
Selection Sunday, the passion of
the players, the vitality of a single
game, the strategy employed;
sundry factors unite to create what
is—in the opinion of this writer at
least—a sporting spectacle more
exciting than the Super Bowl.
There, I said it. Regardless of the
reader’s opinion on that particular
opinion, however, most of us can
agree that March Madness is an
action-packed athletic marathon
worthy of the time of the avid
sports fan. If you have never
watched it, do yourself a favor and
check out a game or two. If it
strikes you as it struck me, you may
just discover the event that adds
some flavor to your March.