April 30, 1954
S CHIPPY?
Everyone has been asking, "There's Chippy?" Well, as I get it, it's a pretty
long story. It seems Chippy more or less went on a sit down strike during the
last few weeks. By contacting certain influential people, though, I was able to
personally interview the degenerate squirrel. In short, this is what I found out.
Chippy, after so much personal contact with the people here at Highacres,
became interested in this stuff called higher education. Everyone was learning
except Chippy; all Chippy did was spy and pry, and pry and spy into other people's
lives. It all became quite dull for the little animal. If everyone else could
learn x / y's and who'shot Lincoln, so could Chippy. But this is where Chippy
fell out of our lives, because studying and spying did not go together. After
giving it much thought, our beloved rodent decided that the studying was to come
first. I begged Chippy to forget this new venture and go back to digging up bum
dope, but no success. Chip made four three's at the eight week marking period
and is now lost in glory. I did get some consolation from Chip, though. If the
report card is a full. late of three's by the twelve week period, Chip just might
get down to our size again and begin delving once more into our private lives.
But before promising anything, Chippy wanted my word that Melvin(The Booze Hound)
Mole would never again get the scoop in before Chip. Now my only problem is trying
to sober up Tel long enough so that I can talk some sense into his fool head.
Wish me luck. If I have it, we may view Chippy's small talk in the Collegian next
week.
DAFFYNITIONS
A Hick Town
Etiquette --
Businessman
Intervals
CAMPUS CORNIES
COLL: "It seems like common sense would prevent many divorces."
KISLAN: "It would prevent just as many marriages."
"My sister just had a baby, but they didn't tell me whether it's a
boy or a girl, so I don't know if I'm an aunt or an uncle."
KRECKFR TO fSY. CUSS: Middle age is the time of life when a man stops
wondering if he can escape the temptation and begins to wonder if he's
missing any.
A policeman walked in JOE'S famous cafe in West Hazleton, where quite a
few of the Center's followers were camping, and began lecturing to the
group. He said in the middle of his speech, "....and besides, Hell is full of
drunkards, cocktails, roulette wheels, and naughty chorus girls.
VOICE FROM REAR: "Oh Death, where is thy sting?"
THOUGHT OF THE WEEK
We know that a fool and his money are soon parted, but what we want to
know is how they got together in the first place.
-- where there is no place to go that you shouldn't be.
learning to yawn with your mouth closed.
-- a man who spends time making money, and then spends money
killing time
what some people work at
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