Page Two
Hazleton Collegian
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A Style, We Hope is Passe
It seems to be the style around here for faculty members to up and
leave without giving administration adequate time to secure replacements.
The students don't particularly like this style and hope that it's only a fad
which will pass out of existence but soon. We think it's high time that
the students should be considered.
Last semester Mr. Goss had a class in which he taught Mechanics.
Everything went along alright until his duties as administrative head kept
him from attending class. The students in this class didn't see hide nor hair
of Goss for weeks. As a result, no assignments were given, and the students
supplemented their Mechanics course with bull sessions. As a matter of
fact, they learned more from these than they did from their Mechanics
course. Because, you see, bull sessions need no instructor; whereas, Mechan
ics does.
In this semester, however, came the payoff. Mr. Peyton, the chemistry
instructor, left to join the United States Air Force. In one of his classes,
namely Chem. 20, he had six students, six of which received warning "valen
tines" at the eight week's period. Such a step needed some planning, and so
Peyton took the time off to plan. When he returned from time to time, he
had the students come to school on Saturdays to make up the Chem. labs.
they missed due to his absences.
Whether he went voluntarily or whether he was called from reserve is
unknown, but in any case he must have known his status long before April
30, the day he took off. Peyton, right now, is connected with R.O.T.C. at the
campus. He'll probably be teaching cadets the rule of leadership which
states, "Next to his mission an officer's primary consideration must be the
welfare of his men." Wonder how much he considered the welfare of his
Chem. 20 class ! ! !
The Constitution - Dead Wood
Since the Fall elections the word "constitution" has been whispered
over the campus at various intervals. Both political parties used as a plat
form pledge the writing up and ratification of a new constitution. After the
election John Zamba and Kate Midash headed a committee which drew up
a new governing framework. A summary of the constitution was published
in the December Collegian. Copies of the new document were mimeographed
and passed out to the students. Then the constitution was submitted to Mr.
Goss. He approved the document, but Council did not submit it to the
student body for ratification.
With the elections of a new administrative head, the ratification was
stalled until Mr. Campbell read and approved it. Still it was not submitted
for vote by the student body. It has been rumored that the delay in getting
the policies of the constitution printed and the framework for the ratifica
tion set up was because council had only one copy of the document. What
happened to the copies that were printed previously?
Now Council has carried out most of its campaign promises—juke-box,
printing of the financial balance, better relations between Hazleton and the
other Centers. However, the only platform pledge that both parties advo
cated has been neglected. In the January Collegian special mention was
made to the fact that Council had only one plank to go before they would
have carried out all of their promises. Mention of the constitution was made
again in last month's Collegian. Still no action was taken for ratification.
However, bets were made with the editor that ratification would take place
before the publishing of this month's paper.
Classes are now over for the Spring semester, and we are taking our
final exams. We, as students, must reconcile ourselves to the fact that our
names shall never appear on the constitution. Next year's Council will again
have to operate without a governing agent a constitution.
HAZLETON UNDERGRADUATE CENTER
PENNSYLVANIA STATE COLLEGE
Highacres, Hazleton, Pa
STAFF
Hughie Brennan
Betty Harlor
William Deppe
Michael Kudlich
Henry Paulick
Joseph H. Hastings
Frank Nowak
Jim Reinsmiih
John Miorelli
Raymond Deitch
.. Harold Borushok
Steve Paulmeno
Leroy Kromis
Sam Dilcer
Harold Filbert
Helene Smith
HAZLETON COLLEGIAN
With Due Respect
Joseph Fisher
Well, after the fi.ials have all been
flunked and the Convocation cere
monies have come to a screeching
halt, most of the members of the
Collegian staff, like all other sopho
mores, will no longer be a part of
Penn State at Highacres. We had a
heck of a lot of fun putting the Col
legian to bed every month, knowing
that what was said in its editorials
were students' viewpoints and not
the advisor's hypocritical diserta
tions. Mr. Fisher, the Collegian ad
visor, told the staff at the beginning
of the year that it was our paper and
that his position was to advise—not
to censor our opinions. He never
went back on his word. He taught
us more about journalism than even
he thought he did.
He would list the possible news
stories for us every month and let us
add to it. He would advise us in the
make-up of the paper and saw that
we didn't send the paper to the pub
lisher with too many mechanical
errors. Then he left the rest to the
editorial staff. Everytime the paper
came off the press, he would drop
into the Collegian office and say,
"Congratulations—it's a good issue,"
or "I didn't care for this issue at all,"
and told us why in such a frank way
that we improved as each issue went
to press.
Mr. Fisher won't be with Highacres
next year, for he is one of the in
structors affected by the retrench
ment deal. That's tough luck for next
year's Collegian staff. We hope that
the Collegian will have an advisor
that they will respect even half as
much as we respected Mr. Fisher.
Concluding, I want to say, in behalf
of the staff, "Thanks a lot, Mr.
Fisher" and I know "Joe" realizes
that we are sincere.
VERSE-AND WORSE-
Little Willy is a funny
And eccentric little waif;
Swallowed all of sister's money
Said he was playing safe.
Last night as I lay on my pillow,
Last night as I lay on my bed,
I put my feet out the window
And now all my neighbors are dead
I bought my girl some garters
At the five and ten;
She gave them to her mother
That's the last I'll see of them
Kissing the doorman's daughter
Was once my favorite hobby
Till her old man caught me in the act
And kicked me in the lobby.
Fellow students, I have just had a harrowing experience, and I would
like to warn you about the perils of being a week-end guest. If you have
any happily-married young friends who insist on having you spend a week
end with them, refuse this offer, or you'll live to regret it. I know, because
I succumbed to such an offer recently. A young couple I know, insisted that
I come to the city and spend a week-end with them. Well, I took the first
train out in the morning, so I could be there bright and early. After I got
off the train, my troubles really began, because this young couple lives in
one of those newly erected housing projects, and none seemed to be sure just
where this housing project was located at. I asked about twenty different
people for directions, and I may just as well have asked for data concerning
the Atom Bomb, cause their answers were so diversified. I finally spotted a
Boy Scout in full uniform, so I threw a full Nelson on him, reminded him of
his oath to do a good deed daily, and squeezed the right directions out of him.
On the bus, the driver yelled the block out for me when we got to the
project, so I bounced out of the bus to find my friends. Now the search for
the right house number began. I don't know if the guy who puts the num
bers on the houses is grogged up when he works, or if he just gets a kick
out of putting the numbers in the most awkward places. I walked all
through the project five times, asked twenty more people for directions, and
still couldn't find the place. I was going to call the Police and report a
murder at this number, then follow the Police car when it got to the project,
but I spotted my friend before my evil plan could be employed.
We went up to the apartment and talked about the good old days. Then
after supper, we left the baby with a capable baby sitter, while we visited
the Art gallery, Museum, Library and other points of interest. After a busy
evening, we returned to the apartment for a good night's rest.
My room was cozy and the bed was comfortable, but I still had a tough
time getting any sleep. My friend didn't tell me the clock in my room wasn't
operating according to factory specifications, so I wound it up and found
out what was wrong with it. Every half-hour, the watch gonged eleven
times, so I had a lot of fun with that all night. Then the couple in the next
apartment decided to settle a few marital affairs, and this took up a little
time also. The next disturbance came from a group of wandering carolers.
They stood directly below my window and serenaded me, until they became
thirsty, then they departed in search of a thirst quencher. Of course, we
mustn't forget the -rain that came down in torrents. I am strictly a fresh
air kid, so I had the window wide open, and was thoroughly soaked before
I could get the window to cooperate with me. After I had the window
closed, the rain ceased, and the janitor decided to send up some heat. Now,
the window refused to open, and in a matter of minutes I was roasting, and
little thoughts of homicide began to run through my one-cell brain. Well, I
finally dozed off, and you know how long I slept, but when I got up, the first
thing I did was dress, and head for home. Of course I have fully recovered
from this visit, but I don't think I'll be a week-end guest for some time to
come.
"Well, dear," sighed the head of
the house after viewing the crumpled
fender, "did the officer scold you for
hitting one of the city's trees?"
"No, he was just lovely, John," ex
plained the new driver. "He said the
city planted them just to keep lady
drivers from getting up on people's
porches."
"My son's home from college."
"How do you know ?"
"I haven't had a letter from him
for three weeks."
Sally: "I'm afraid I oughn't go to
the strip-poker game."
Pally: "Why worry? You have
practically nothing to lose."
CM=
"How can one do so many dumb
things in one day ?"
"I get up early."
A romantic pair were in the throes
of silence as they rolled smoothly
along an enchanting woodland path,
when the lady broke the spell:
"John dear," she asked softly, "can
you drive with one hand ?"
"Yes, my sweet," he cooed in ec
stasy of anticipation.
"Then," said the lovely one, "You'd
better wipe your nose, it's running."
Mother: "Another bite like that
and you will have to leave the table."
Hungry Boy: "Another bite like
that and I'll be through."
IDYLLS OF OSCAR
BY HENRY F. PAULICK
A DISCOVERY
Hurray! I have found the solution!
Yes, I've finally delved to the source.
And now I can tell you that marriage
Is the principal cause of divorce.
"Whoever told that guy he was a
prof ? He just doesn't know how to
teach the stuff. Everybody hates
him. Everytime he tries to explain
something he digresses so much that
no one can understand what he's
talking about. I think he ought to
quit teaching and go back to the
farm."
"Yeah. I flunked too."
Ci.:=3
OBSTACLE COURSE
A motorist was helping his ex
tremely fat victim to rise. "Couldn't
you have gone around me?" growled
the victim.
"Sorry," said the motorist sadly. "I
wasn't sure whether I had enough
gasoline."
I=M3
Advice to girls: Never play ball
with a man unless he furnishes the
diamond.
C:=:=l
THE CAUSE OF IT ALL
A very thin man met a very fat
man in the hotel lobby.
"From the looks of you," said the
fat man, "there might have been a
famine."
"Yes," was the reply, "and from
the looks of you, you might have
caused it."
Friday, June 1, 1951