Page Four
Spring has officially arrived. This fact is substantiated by the heavy
flow of perambulator traffic on the sidewalks of our fair city. Of course,
our proud mothers not only take their offspring out to sniff up the good
clean, fresh air, but they also take the offspring out to compare them with
other children. Then, these ladies will tell each other how smart their
children are, what cute things they gargle out in their childish prattle, and
in general brag about their little offspring.
Personally, I never bothered to pay any attention to any of these ladies
with the perambulators raving about how sharp their offspring are, until
one day I noticed a young, tender, sweet, little mother trying to push one of
these perambulators thru a revolving door, with much difficulty, I may add.
Rather than see the child became mangled in the clutches of this door, I
explained to the mother that it was impossible to take the perambulator
through, without first folding it up neatly. While I was explaining all this
to the young lady, I realized that we knew each other, and she was an old
neighbor of mine, before becoming connubially consummated. We made the
usual remarks concerning our health and welfare, and I remarked that she
had a very fine looking baby. Of course I don't know what is supposed to
make a baby look good or bad, but I thought it would be nice to say some
thing nice about her kid.
Well, this started off a chain reaction that still chills my blood. First
she raved about him being the most wonderful kid in all the world, and
already he is the smartest. To start off with, he not only showed up early,
but the doctors and nurses in the hospital told her that he was the most
beautiful baby in the world, and they hated to see both of them leave the
hospital. Now this kid isn't even six months old yet, and already he is
working out logarithms, spitting out Latin phrases, and Washington has
hired him to do some research work on the Hydrogen bomb, soon as they
get an office small enouel for him. I know all this is a lot of you know what,
and I don't like to raise an eyebrow while this proud young thing shovels it
on, but how much can one take? As if this weren't bad enough, a couple of
other women were bearing down on us with perambulators to compare kids.
As long as they have somebody to listen to them, they'd tell some tall lies
about their kids too. Before I could shove off, I was completely surrounded
by quite a few perambulators of all kinds. There were imported jobs with
two and three speeds forward, hot and cold running Pablum in them, and
what not. Well, these proud mothers began to lift the blankets off the faces
"r", iztf 'the s otriei Idils and tgic.lciddy 'talk *did then they really started to - toss
on the heavy stuff. Tlie lady with buggy number one claimed her little
Daucy climbed up on the piano one day and played Padareswki's Minuet
with his toes at the age of six months. The lady in buggy two brushed this
aside and told how her little Gus began to walk two days after he came
from the hospital. The Lady in number three buggy chimes in with how her
little Adolph overhauled the family radio at the age of five months, and
has it playing better than it ever played before. Well, this ran into one thing
and another, and one lady tried to top the other with tales about how
wonderful her kid is, while the other lady fought back with some tall tales
of her own, and this went on for some time, so I managed to duck out while
they were yapping back and forth.
I have been thinking about these geniuses that these laclips are bringing
into this world. If half of the things they claim are true, these kids will be
hard to stop later on. They will really be an asset to any community. But,
why stretch facts and figures out like this? I don't know why, but even the
fathers get this disease later on. Oh well, there's no harm actually done,
but sometimes these tales really get out of hand.
The May Queen and Maid of Honor
cedure. The attendants will carry the Hemlock Chain and form a path for
the Queen's entrance. Then the Queen and her court will enter. After the
Queen and her maid of honor are seated, the scroll bearer "reads" the cere
mony. The heart bearer brings the heart of the student body to the Queen;
the key bearer presents her with the key to the school; and the Crown
bearer delivers the crown to be placed on the head of the May Queen. After
the Queen has been crowned, she will be entertained by her court—an in
terpretative dance by the flower girls and a waltz by the freshmen and
sophomore attendants and their escorts. The various clubs will then present
floats or skits for the Queen. Mrs. Hobson Zerbe, Mrs. Richard Mattern, and
Mrs. Frank Kostos will act as judges for this event, and a loving cup will
be given the winner. The reading of the class will by Paul Williams will
climax the ceremony.
COUNCIL SPONSORS QUEEN'S BALL
On the evening of May 4 the Student Council will hold a semi-formal
dance, in honor of the May Queen at Genetti's ballroom. Dancing will be to
the music of Art Wendel's orchestra from nine to twelve. Paul Williams,
tee, announced that the theme of the
tderwater Court.
chairman of the Decorations Commit
decorations will be King Neptune's u
ODE TO EXAMS
O frantic fortnight spent to cram,
At times I wonder who I am,
SG twinkle, twinkle sweet exam,
Frankly I don't give a Damn.
IDYLLS OF OSCAR
BY HENRY F. PAULICK
(Continued from page 3)
SEIDEL THE FLORIST
Phone 1424
35 N. Laurel St
Hazleton, Pa.
HAZLETON COLLEGIAN
Keller Explains
Campus Policies
(Continued from page 1)
years ago this profit was $25,000.00.
Q. Why has equipment which is
needed here been shipped to other
places?
A. Campbell replied that 24 micro
scopes from the Hazleton Center had
been sent to the Erie Center because
Erie had no microscopes and Hazle
ton had exceeded the quota of micro
scopes specified by the college.
Q. When is the real truth about
Mr. Goss going to be printed in the
papers?
A. Keller doubts that the Goss
story will ever be published in the
local papers. However, he believes
that the decision to publish the story
lies with the Hazleton Educational
Council.
Q. Since Mr. Goss has told this
year's Student Council that he has
"made" money since 1943, how much
did he "make" and when is it going
to be returned? Are these records
available for students to check?
A. Keller related that Mr. Goss
was probably exaggerating when he
made the statement, and since the
S. G. A. records, especially the book
store records, are incomplete, there
is no way of determining how much
he "made." The money, since the
records are incomplete, shall probab
ly never be returned. All S. G. A.
records are available for the students
to check.
Q. Student activities money has
been used for college business other
than that approved by Student Coun
cil? When will this money be return
ed to the students? How soon can
we have it?
(KellasJavOiMiewgrtd this-qvc
ton previously.) ,
Q. Can Adminisgation punish em
ployees who misuse -,
student funds?
A. Keller stated that Penn State
can punish only those employees who
misuse college funds.
Q. Why must the veteran pay the
$7.50 activity fee? Why are they not
entitled to notebooks, pencils, etc.?
These are provided at other colleges.
A. The Veterans' Administration
will not pay the Student activities
fee. The veterans' contract with
Penn State does not call for provid
ing pencils, notebooks, etc. (Henry
Daniels stated that he had contacted
the Veterans' Administration and
that they had replied that the V.A.
would pay the $7.50 if it was a re
quired college fee.) Keller and Camp
bell promised to discuss the problem
with Penn State's V.A. representa
tive.
Q. Is there any State or Federal
aid given to the center? Is it true
A FRIEND
that politics is interfering with the
advancement of the school?
A. Mr. Keller had answered this
question by stating that all centers
are self-supporting.
Q. Why hasn't Central Extension
investigated the Goss situation be
fore this semester?
A. Before Keller had received 'the
anonymous letter and the phone call
'ro'n Edward Weikel, Chairman of
the Board of Trustees, he had no
knowledge of the Goss situation.
Q. When are we going to meet ou
rle-,v Administrative Head to set up a
definite financial policy and perman
ent constitution ?
A. Mr. Campbell, new Administra•
five Head, will be at the center sev
eral days each week.
Q. Has Physical Education been
considered a "frill" course? Has it
been dropped from next year's cur
ricula ? If so, what about the gym
drive Will that be postponed?
A. Keller replied that Physical Ed
, ucation is not included in the requir
ed curricula for the centers and is,
therefore, a "frill" course. However,
it will not be dropped from next
year's curricula. A Physical Educa
tion instructor will probably be em
ployed on a part-time basis. (David
Keller of the Hazleton Educational
Council said that the gym drive has
been postponed because of the Na
tional Emergency.)
Q. Why has the Physical Educa
tion Department been supported by
Student activity funds? Why must
students suffer the Tournament loss?
A. The Hazleton Center never sub
mitted a requisition for Physical Ed
ucation equipment. Keller said he
didn't see why the students should
have to bear the tournament loss.
Mr. Keller stated that he realized
that he, had not answered the ques-,
bons contletely, and gave as his
reason the fact that the questions
were handed to him only two hours
before the meeting.
HASTINGS Hitting It
(Continued from page 3)
league has been set up and, as of
now, there are four teams in the
league. A number of people thought
that Syd Rudman's leaving would
spell the end of baseball at HUC but
Joe McHale, an able sophomore liv
ing at the bottom of the hill, has
consented to take over management
of the intra-mural softball league in
Syd Rudman's absence. Teams who
wish to enter the league are urged to
submit the team roster to McHale
for official league sanction.
At the beginning of the semester
there was some talk about an intra
mural bowling league. Although noth
ing ever materialized from this, it
looks as if intra-mural softball is off
to a good start.
GENETTI'S
ASK FOR
Hazleton's Largest
Food Establishment
SUPER-MARKET
TYROLEAN ROOM 4000
Restaurant ICE CREAM
20-30 N. Laurel St.
HAZLETON, PA. "Pure as the mountain air"
You can't wear overhead . .
Why pay for it?
MOODY'S MEN SHOP
Open Eveninns
Broad 6 4th s Sts., West Hazleton, Pa
Thursday, May 3, 1951
Merle Campbell
Named New Head
(Continued from page 1)
the college in 1942 and was a co
ordinator of instructors in the col
lege's war training program. During
the same year he served as acting
administrative head of the Dußois
Center and was promoted to assist
ant professor of fine arts. He was
also made secretary of the Dußois
Educational Foundation at that time.
In 1944 he was on leave from the
college for work in the engineering
department of Dresser Manufactur
ing Division in Bradfol d, but return
ed to Dußois in 1945 as administra
tive head of the Center. In 1947 he
was promoted to associate professor
of fine arts. He is a member of Ro
tary in Dußois, and has been active
in civic affairs and in art groups.
An Accomplished Artist
An accomplished artist, he has had
paintings exhibited on several occas
ions, and won a first prize in oils at
the New Castle Artists' League. He
is also an accomplished photographer.
Mrs. Campbell is the former La-
Gene McEntire, also of New Castle.
Their children are Kay 5, and Kim
1 1 / 2 .
The Dußois Center, which Mr.
Campbell has directed for six years,
is on a former estate, just as the
Hazleton Center, but has a smaller
enrollment than the local Center.
Mr. Campbell has expressed his
pleasure at the new assignment, and
says that he is looking forward with
keen anticipation to his duties at the
Hazleton Center, with its fine cam
pus and excellent facilities.
GEORGE'S RESTAURANT,
Home 4. Guod 1 4 'mo LI -
OPEN 24 HOURS
30 E. Broad St. West Hazleton, Pa
I=lll
COOPERATIVE
DAIRY
FARM FRESH MILK
Hazleton, Pa.
Smilax Floral Shop
Max and Jean Shields
22 East Broad St. Hazleton, Pa
PHONE 12-J
LOUIS ANDREUZZI
Wholesale Confectionary
and Foods Vending Machines
Phone 2619-R
52 S. Wyoming St. Hazleton, Pa