Page Two
Hazleton Collegian
HAZLETON UNDERGRADUATE CENTER
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Believer vs. Theorists
We have just returned from a vacation, one do if which was set wide
in commemoration of Easter. Though most of us adhere strongly to the
pagan concepts of Easter, the Easter bunny et.al., still we couldn't have
escaped the true meaning of Easter, for there have been several evidences
of truth regarding the celebration of this feast. As everyone knows, Easter,
the first Sunday following the spring equinox, is regarded as the day in
which Christ arose from the dead.
The Resurrection of Christ holds a greater significance for College
students than it does for others. We, in this time of godlessness, can come
up with answers to some of the idiotic theories of past and present day
educators. That is, if we ourselves believe in the existence of a God. We
who believe know Christ to be the Son of God. Atheists merely regard
Christ as a great man who taught the principle of brotherly love. Some
atheistic historians have been so brash as to list Him tenth in a list of great
men who have lived on earth. Before Him they have placed Alexander,
Caesar, and Queen Elizabeth to name three. Surely the Conqueror of death
deserves a little more prominence.
Atheistic communists, evolutionists, psychologists, sociologists stutter in
their theories whenever the name, Christ, is mentioned. They realize, if
nothing else, how long it takes for a theory to be accepted by even the
slightest majority. They know that Christ influenced thousands of minds
in only three years of public teaching. Yet, to them He was merely a man
. . . just another one of the species homo-sapiens. They don't take into con
sideration that this homo-sapiens conquered death.
So you see even though we are only lowly students, Christ's resurrection
gives us an argument. When, for example, the theory of Darwin is thrown
at us, we who believe can ask, "Was the 'man' Jesus Christ, the founder of
Christianity, the conqueror of death, a product of mutation? Can His an
cestors be traced to Neanderthal or Pithecanthropus-erectus?" And though
the questioned theorist blurbs an answer filled with high-sounding technical
terms, we, the comparatively un-educated, can laugh up our sleeve 3; take
his theories and file them in that section of our minds reserved for Aesop,
Grimm, and Hans Christian Anderson.
An Open Letter to Messrs. Campbell & Keller
Since Mr. Campbell stated in his March 8 address to the student body
that suggestions would be welcomed, we took it for granted that suggestions
from students would not be completely ignored. So, here is a suggestion for
the successor to Mr. Goss our temporary administrative head, Frank C.
Kostos.
Mr. Kostos holds the respect of all of the students. He has shown in the
past that he is truly concerned with each student and has given assistance
to the problems of many. Advice from Mr. Kostos as to our curricula has
been accepted, thankfully. Mr. Kostos, we believe, knows all of the ins and
outs of the job through experience. Instead of beginning with "two strikes
against him," Kostos could begin with bases full and a home run. Co
operation from the students is practically assured and we believe Kostos
could assure "better conditions all around."
We thank you for welcoming suggestions because we feel that such a
move is a factor that tends to strengthen good will in student-administration
relations, which were absolutely nil heretofore.
The President's Reply
(Continued from page 1)
as enrollments decline, revenue goes down, and expenditures must be re
duced accordingly.
The adjustments caused by such reductions are not made at a single
Center but throughout the Extension system. This is an all-College policy
which of course Mr. Keller, Mr. Campbell, and their associates must carry
out. Sincerely yours,
Milton S. Eisenhower
PENNSYLVANIA STATE COLLEGE
Jiighacres, Hazleton, Pa
STAFF
Hughie Brennan
Betty Harlor
William Deppe
Michael Kudlich
Henry Paulick
Joseph H. Hastings
Frank Nowak
Jim Reinsmith
John Miorelli
Raymond Deitch
Harold Borushok
Steve Pat , lrneno
Leroy Kromis
Sam Dilcer
Harold Filbert
Helene Smith
Signed
HAZLETON COLLEGIAN •
Congratulations . . .
The students are to be congratula
ted on their co-operation in the park
ing problem. Offenders are now park
ing at the bottom of the hill, and
there is now room to move around
the Circle and up and down the hill.
We don't like to think that the co
operation was an enforced one, but
rather that students came to realize
that there is just so much room at
the top. Of course, there is the stu
dent who will insist that there is
always room for one more good one.
This may apply to business, to so
ciety, but it does not apply to hills.
As long as such ambitious reasoning
prevails, and student motorists
scheme, connive, and inveigle their
way to the top, they must be ready
to collide with eager safety-commit
tee members who knock themselves
out trying to circulate the most
parking tickets. Some of them move
about with the quotas and persist
ence of an insurance man. This is
understandable when one realizes
that there are only eighteen satisfac
tory parking spaces on top of the
hill which completely insure the
safety of the students themselves as
well as their cars. Already twenty
one parking permits have been is
sued. These permits have been issued
to dormitory, the physical handicap
ped, and working students. The safe
ty committee doesn't insist that the
physically handicapped be miracul
ously cured in order to cut back the
permits to eighteen, but as long as
there are twenty-one cars for 18
spaces, somebody's got to walk.
Fellin Testifies
Before Committee
by Betty Harlot.
A quantity of test tubes is missing
from the Chemistry laboratory. Mr.
Mattern and Mr. Peyton have re
trieved some of the missing ones
from the waste basket where they
had been hidden under stalks of
paper. However, the number discov
ered in the wastebasket does not
cover the number that both chemis
try instructors estimate are missing.
Because the Chem. 20 class is so
small (it has 6 members) Mattern
and Peyton began their investigation
in that class.
The Collegian dispatched a report
er to the scene of the investigation,
and he returned with a full report of
the testimonies of five members of
the chemistry class. Because the
testimonies of the five students are
lengthy, the Collegian is printing
only the testimony of Frank Fellin,
who testified the day the Collegian
went to press.
As our roving reporter entered the
room, Mattern began to question
Frank Fellin. Here is a question and
answer description of the proceedings
of the Mattern committee vs Frank
Fellin, the menace of the chemistry
lab.
Q. Are you a Chemistry major?
A. Under the protection of the Fifth
Amendment I refuse to answer
that question.
Q. Do you take Chem. 20?
A. I don't remember.
Q. In your work, do you use the test
tubes?
A. I don't believe so
Q. Have you ever broken a test
tube?
A. I refuse to answer that question
on the grounds that it may in
criminate me.
At this point in the questioning
Mattern asked for a recess, and all
members of the committee left the
It isn't fun for me to go to the movies anymore. Maybe it's because I've
reached the age where I go to the movies to look at the picture, or maybe
it's because of the prevailing circumstances.
Everytime I attend the movies, the place is packed, and I can't find a
seat. Naturally, I have to stand in line to wait my turn for a seat. Standing
in line in itself is a pain in the neck, but some of the characters I manage
to meet while I'm standing provide the bulk of my problem. Everyone in the
standing line has an assortment of packages, and the noise that they make
with these packages drowns out the sound. If the people don't have pack
ages, they have a half-dozen kids with them. These little darlings run for a
drink of water, via my shoes, every two minutes. If they aren't running for
water, they complain that they can't see the screen, loud enough for every
one in the theater to hear, of course. Then a woman who is standing about
thirty feet away will recognize the woman standing in front of me. They
haven't seen each other for a long time (two days), so they will shout the
latest gossip back and forth. While all this is going on, the gent behind me
begins to pop his gum about an inch away from my ear.
First thing you know, the feature ends, and the crowd begins to leave
the seated area. Those standing know now that the golden opportunity to
procure a seat is about to be realized. Now all is tense! The non-seaters
will pick up their packages. The family roll is called. The children rush
back to their parents via my shoes. The non-seaters jam up to the aisles
and hamper the progress of those trying to leave. Now there is a battle
between the new and the old crowd. Bodies push and shove bodies until all
control of the crowd is lost. Our fearless usher is unable to cope with the
situation, and he too goes down bravely at his post.
Well, after all the seats have been refilled, we have the usual pande
monium prevailing. The lights are dipped low, and the feature begins. Now
the scavengers begin their hunt. The scavengers are those unfortunate few
who were unable to procure a seat during the rush. They are still befuddled,
and refuse to admit defeat. All they do is walk up and down the aisle,
hoping and praying to find a seat. Suddenly one will see a vacant spot and
force the row to stand while he heads for the vacant spot. Once he reaches
the spot, it turns out to be a foul ball, so he has to back up, and force the
people to get up again.
While this is going on, I am sitting in the path of two lovers who have
become separated. They are about six seats apart and are pledging their
fidelity, undying love, devotion, etc., during their separation.
Everyone is now beginning to relax. People remove their shoes. and
concentrate on their chewing gum or pop-corn. I have to sit next to a guy
who is eating pickled herring with crackers. Behind me are two juveniles
who have been in the theatre since it opened, so they explain the plot loud
enough for me to hear, and save me undue anticipation. Meanwhile, the two
obese gentlemen sitting on both sides of me claim the arm rests on my chair.
All that I can do now is sit with my hands on my lap. Oh well, I can always
leave and go to watch TV someplace.
scene of the hearing except Fellin,
the witness, who received counsel
from Henry Daniels. At 11:15 Mat
tern continued his questioning.
Q. Are you acquainted with the
shape of a test tube?
A. I think so. (Mattern took out his
handkerchief and wiped the sweat
from his chin. A smithering of a
smile covered his face as the wit-
ness answered his first question.)
Q. Has sugar or some crystalline
solid ever stuck to the sides of
one of your test tubes?
A. I don't understand what you mean
by the word crystalline.
Mattern explained that a crystalline
solid was a transparent solid con
sisting of crystals. Fellin was satis
fied with the explanation, and Mat
tern repeated the question. Fellin's
reply:
"I refuse to answer on the grounds
that it may incriminate me."
Q. Is there a waste basket in the
chemistry lab?
A. I don't remember.
Since Mattern was getting no ex
planations from his witness, he
changed the subject of his questions
and began asking Fellin about his life
as a college student.
Q. Do you support college activities ?
A. I think so.
Q. Do you attend classes regularly ?
A. I refuse to answer that question
on the grounds that it may in
criminate me.
Friday, March 30, 1951
IDYLLS OF OSCAR
BY HENRY F. PAULICK
Q. Are you a member of the Math-
Engineering Club?
A. I am perfectly aware that this
committee has published a list of
clubs that are subversive in this
college. Since I have a general
(Continued on page 3)
Reunited
All of us are acquainted with the
play, "Another Language," which the
Penn State Jesters planned to dram
atize last semester. However, be
cause of the many activities around
the Thanksgiving and Christmas va
cations, the play never materialized.
Russ Wood, who recently transferred
to the Campus, played the part of
Mr. Hallam and Miss Anna Erlemann
played his wife. Just how vividly the
lines and characters remained in the
minds of the cast was revealed re
cently.
Miss Erlemann made a trip to
State College. As she was parking
her car, she noticed two couples ap
proaching. One boy in the group
looked familiar. He was a former
Center student and he smiled in
recognition. Nervously she watched
him approach. What was his name?
What was his name ? He was almost
beside her when she remembered.
"Poppa!"
"Mamma!"
The group watched open-mouthed
as Russ Wood and Miss Erlemann
took up their roles.