' 4> '1950
° ow To Park Your Car At The Top Of
The Hill And Get Away With It
I would like to point out that this
article was written after extensive re
search, including personal interviews
and close observation of the tech
niques involved.
Everyone is familiar, by now, with
~parking rules and regulations which
govern the resting place of auto
mobiles within the territorial con
fines.' of Highacres. It is common
;knowledge, too, that any student who,
with careless abandon and reckless
defiance, would venture to park his
car somewhere in the high altitudes,
has little chance of escaping a yellow
tag which invites him to contribute
two bucks to the "we'll-build-a-bus
stop-shelter with- this-money-or-you
don't-take-your-finals" fund.
From the careful study which I
mentioned earlier, five distinct meth
ods have been discovered:
A. THE CAMOFLAGUE METHOD
Veteran students should be good at
this sort of thing, and non-veterans
can catch on easily.
The car is brought to the to of
(hill near one of the school buildings;
various (boards and trailing vines are
strategically arranged to resemble an
addition to the Botany Building. A
variation .of this idea—cut a crescent
shaped( slot in the r car door and it
will pass for one of those, familiar
rustic edifices.
B: THE OLD TICKET GAG
If the car owner has already been
tagged once his future js assured, he
needs — nretely to ceep-" the original
GERMAN CLUB
Der Schnitzelbankverein, Highacres'
busy German Club, has been pushing
its Overseas Relief Drive_tor clothing,
games, books and school supplies for
the past few days. The entire student
body had been requested to help the
club in the collection of the articles
to make the drive a success. The
collected articles will be distributed
through a relief organization to chil
dren and students in Europe.
This project has been conducted in
connection with their G. Y. A. (Ger
man Youth Activities) Project of the
United States Army, of wich Der
Schnitzelbankverein has-been •a mem
ber for the past 16 months. The club
keepis correspondence with an indivi
dual club, DER JUNGE KREIS, in
,Schwabmunchen, Bavaria, a German
student group similiar in age and
interests to •bhose here at Highacres.
Der Schnitzelbankverein has also
had a successful bowling party at
Patty's alleys in Hazleton on Wed
nesday, March 29, and is planning a
swimming party for late in April
with the Pottsville Center German
Club as its guest. At the business
meeting •on April 19, the club mem
bers will be honored by the presence
of Mr. John Lorah of Hazleton. Mr.
Lorah who is a well-known 'chess ex
pert will help the - club in getting a
Chess club started. At this meeting
plans for a Bpring picnic will also
be made.
yellow tag and place it prominently
'under the windshield wiper. This will
keep away new invitations to con
tribute to the Safety Committee.
Fund.
C. LICENSE PLATE JUGGLING
If you have a relative in North
Dakota or Pakistan, or can get same
"foreign" license plates, a few nuts
and bolts will solve the parking prob
lem. Merely attach_ these strange
plates and pretend you are a visiting
politician—you will then receive "po
litical Immunity."
D. MECHANICAL DIFFICULTY.. .
This, one is not guaranteed, but a
bit of acting ability can put it over
very nicely. If you happen to be
tagged, as you surely will, you can
explain with a long face and worried
look that your starter is out of, com
mission or your battery worn down.
and you must have that long run
down Ole hill in order to get it started.
E. LEGAL MEANS
There are legal permits issued for
parking on the upper strata, and
these can be obtained for bona-fide
reasons. For example, if one were to
cut off his left leg it woul be assured
that you would receive a permit and
never have to worry •about conniving
or scheming for this privilege.
Of course, the Safety Committee
will read this article and thus render
all of this painfully collected,. advice
useless, but whynot try - itAyway—
What's the matter—you chicken?
A 'Sin Of Omission
It has been brought to our atten
tion that a grievous error was made
in the list of honor students published
in the previous issue of the Collegian.
Mr. Sheldon Vilensky promptly
informed us that , his name had
been omitted. A check up of the offi
cial honors list showed this to be
true. John Hall also lost in the shuf
fle. Fo'give us, fo'give us!
LOOSE SCANDAL
Jim Prete is getting a box of Par
odiesin his Easter Basket.
* * *
,If Cleo Taylor fails Commerce 40,
it won't be Mr. Longs's fauls, he even
loaned her his hook.
* * *
Poor George Woods must be in a
terrible physical shape. He's always
in the dispensary.
* * *
The shipment of red leather couches
for the Psych 21 class is due this
week.
Deep Conversation
Passing thru the halls one day, I
overheard a student inviting his
companion to cut his afternoon clas
ses so they could attend a movie. His
reply was: "No, thanks anyway, but I
need the sleep."
H , A.z , LF,V.-,o ,N__:::c'o.,-,L.L..--.E;--Q1...,.A.N.
The First Aid instruction program,
a part of Phys Ed 4, is another addi
tion to this year's program. The young
men swated in- bandages in one of
the photos am practicing the fine, art
of treating injuries in this "until the
doctor comes" curriculum. Students
who pass this course, also, will get a
certificate in this from the Red Cross.
The main offshoot of this depart
ment is the basketball team. The
coach is, naturally enough, Syd. Now
ABOUT SYD.
He was born in Philadelphia . . . in
the twentieth century. Mr. Rudman's
successive alma maters included:
West Phila. High School, W. Chester
State Teachers' College (one year),
Penn State Colege; B.S. in '42, M. Ed.
in '47; finally, he is a recent summer
candidate for Doctor of Education
Degree at Penn State. Syd was a
U. S. Army Athletic Officer for rthite
and one-half years; this •is his fourth
year in his present position at HUC.
Our coach is not married—and does
he make out!
His other accomplishmensts: His
teams have been runner-up in the
State Junior College tourney twice
and have hit the jackpot once. His
summers are ideal vacations with pay
—as athletic director at summer re
sorts in New York state. This summer
Sfyd will be at the Ambassadors Hotel
in Fallsburg, N. Y., with the Bradley
University team as assistants.
First Aid Clast
Syd Rudman
Page Thre
that the season of ac e competition
is over, Mr. Rudman is peering into
the future with the hope of a more
successful season next year. Walt
Stanek, Zack Taylor, Jimmy Mulli
gan, Leon Lefkowitz, Bob Green,
Jack Krause, Reese Davis, and Emil
Hutyan are all first year students and
may see better times in the second.
This year's cage campaign, however,
saw some very hard-fought, tense
games against top-notch opponents.
FUTURE PROJECTS:
Top priority for the next few weeks
is the formation of an intra-mural
softball league. The term "intra-mu- Ami
ral" is slightly misleading, for 41011111110.
league is open to all teams composed
of Penn •State Center students in Haz
leton. This is really good news, for
there are few chances far any one
with •the least athletic inclinations to
practice same. Syd has stated that
the origin of the league is of his in
stigation, but if it is to be successful,
these students must be the driving
force. Any group of sudents can or
ganize a team and be recognized
merely by submitting the roster of
under 15 names—at least nine names,
of course. The designated team man
ager must submit this list before
April 14th
The games are scheduled to be
played on our unnamed, littered ath
letic field; they all start after
2:30 in the afternoon.
A meeting of all managers of teams
is slated for April 17 in Syd's Ath
letic office. From then on, meetings
will be weekly get-tagethers; their
purpose will be to iron' out disputes
and schedule difficulties which will cer
tainly arise. Here's a juicy bit of
detail—the umpires for these games
will the drafted from the Phys Ed
majors.
At a recent meeting of the P.J.C.
A. A. arrangements for a golf and
tennis tournament at the campus the
first or second week in May were
made. 'Anyone interested in trying
out for, and eventually representing
HUC should see Mr. Rudman imme
diately. There is no apparent means
of practice for these people, but ma
chinery is in motion for the acquisi
tion of the golf and tennis facilities
of the Country,Club.