BIG TIME
Outside it was getting dark. The
lights from passing cars flashed
through the windows. The Sprucy
Pines Milk-Bar was rather crowded;
in fact, the only two vacant seats
were back at the end of the counter.
The door opened and two young wom
en walked in. They sat at the counter
in the two vacant seats.
“I’ll have a malted-milk with a
double shot of malt,” the first girl
said. She was rather plump, and ap
peared to be about seventeen years
old. Immediately after giving Gus
her order she lit a cigarette which
she held as though it were a Roman
candle.
“I’d like a banana-split with lots of
goo and nuts,” the other shouted to
Gus over the roar of the water fau
cets as he washed the milk-shake
mixer.
“Don’t you want a malted?” asked
Murgatroyd.
“No! I had a few too many last
night, and as a result I nursed a
hangover all morning,” answered
Irmgard. She was a short girl, and
wore blue-jeans with a plaid shirt
hanging down over them almost to
her knees. She did her best to be
seen by everyone, and to leave them
with the impression that she was wise
to the world; however, the innocent,
green look on her face spoiled the
whole act.
“Have you decided what gown you
are going to wear to the high school
formal?” asked Irmgard.
“Why, I haven’t even decided which
invitation I’m going to accept yet.
You know, so many nice fellows have
asked me to go,” replied Margatroyd.
"I think I’ll go with Rocco Squashem
if he asks me. He’s not good looking,
and hasn’t got any personality, but
he’s got a big Buick and plays foot
ball. After all! It isn’t what ,a per
son is, but who,” said Irmgard.
“Marty Belinsky asked me to go,
but his father is only a butcher. Be
sides, he lives out in Midtown, and
you know how I feel about those
small-town kids,” said Murgatroyd.
“Yes! I loathe, detest, and abomi
nate small towns too. I’m so glad I
come from the big city,” said Irm
gard.
After looking around, Irmgard
asked, you going to drink
your milk-shake? You’ve been sit
ting over it for an hour.”
“You know I only come in here to
be seen. Besides, if I drink too many
•milk-shakes how will I look in an
evening gown? And I’m fat enough
already,” replied Murgatroyd.
“That’s because you don’t smoke
enough. Here, have a few more cig
arettes,” replied Irmgard.
“Please! One at a time. Do you
want people to stare at me?” said
Murgatroyd.
“No, I’d rather have them stare at
me,” said Irmgard.
“Ooooh! Do you hear the juke
box? That recording of ‘People Will
Say We’re In Love’ by Frankie Si
natra really sends me,” said Irmgard.
The two girls began to retouch
their make-up, which was already
overdone, when Gus approached and
said: “Ladies, since dis is a most re
spectable jernt, where youse diet on
the quiet, the management would ap
preciate it, indeed, if youse would
use the very spacious ladies’ room fer
applyin’ yer war paint, and not the
dining room.”
“Well! I never!” “said Murga
troyd.
“Come! Let’s get out of this horrid
place,” said Irmgard.
The two girls hurried out the side
door. Everyone turned around and
laughed as they left. They did at
tract a lot of attention; so, one way
or another, they attained their goal.
Some girls who go fishing for hus
bands do not know the difference be
tween a nibble and a bite.
1876 76 Years of Service 1946
HAZLETON
Y. M. C. A.
MEN—MEET YOUR FRIENDS HERE!
DINE IN COMFORT
at the Air Conditioned
Blue Comet Diner
45 S. CHURCH STREET
HAZLETON, PA.
Where Courtesy Dwells & Service Excells
What I Want
Freni Santa
LEON BADEN—
“I just don't want to be adjusted!”
THE COLLEGIAN—
A new typewriter, desks, office,
time on our hands, and credits in
English.
MR. GOSS—
A new sink for my home,
MR. BROADLEY—
Some new words.
MISS COLLIER—
Webster’s Dictionaries for every
body.
SYD RUDMAN—
New uniforms for the basketball
team and a belter gym.
MISS CAMPBELL—
An exclusive gown.
NANCY NORTH
JOE WERSINGER—
Bigger and better ads.
WILL JAMES—
A Nesquehoning Basketball Cham
pionship.
DONALD BARNES
Well, something, anyway! !
FRANK SHERNO—
Spike Jones’ autograph.
STUDENT COUNCIL—
About a $5,000 contribution
joyce McLaughlin—
A new car! ?
ANN McHUGH—
A Stradivarius.
MISS GARBRICK—
More tenors for her glee club.
FRED ADAMS—
Somebody to write his themes.
ALICE LANYON—
Peace in French Class.
DR. RAMSEY
MORE TIME.
MR. STEELE—
A trip to Miami Beach, Florida, to
see new and more specimens.
LORRAINE DeJOSEPH—
A “super” pair of bobby-sox,
MR. ZERBE—
Less bookkeeping.
THE BASKETBALL TEAM—
A bigger and better cheering sec
tion.
DAN WARGO—
FRANCIS FATSIE—
GEORGE TOMSHO—
AARON MARSH
JACK SPECHT—
A Lost Weekend,
CHARLEY QUAY—
Pocket editions of textbooks.
IRENE KOCHERA—
Better bus service.
SIEG KNIES—
Private Spanish Lessons from Miss
Staffieri.
THE ENGINEERS—
Subway to Broad Street School.
HAZLETON UNDERGRADUATE
CENTER—
A modern, spacious school.
EDWARD WIZDA—
A secretary for “proofing the
paper.’’
Hotel
Altamont
The service and entertainment
of the Hotel Altamont make it
the cutstandinn Dlace in our
city to hold socjal functions.
BANQUETS - DANCES
CARD PARTIES
Popular Priced
Coffee Shop
ALLAN W. HOLMAN
Manager
Hazleton
National Bank
Banking With Safety Since 1890
Main Office
BROAD & LAUREL STREETS
HAZLETON, PA.
Lehighton Branch
203-205 N. First St., Lehighton, Pa
Weatherly Branch
26 Carbon St., Weatherly, Pa.
Weissport Branch - Weissporf, Pa.
HAZLETO:! COLLEGIAN
BLUE BOOK BLUES
DEAR MERRY:
Today all students at HUC settled
down to another half semester of
work. The blue book purge came to
an end early last week, just in time
for everyone to be able to enjoy
themselves at the Turkey Trot. The
dance was solid; the music, divine;
and the crowd, gay and carefree.
Sounds swell, doesn’t it? The dance
was really a big success, and the
highlight of the evening came when
Paul Osadchy was presented with a
real live turkey. When they gave
him the bird he said, and I quote:
“What’ll I do with this?” He was
kidding, of course!
In my last letter I mentioned
something about the boys at HUC
being gentlemen, and in this letter
I have come to take it all back. The
past week the pledges for the soror
ity had to carry their books in buck
ets, and not one of the male species
even offered to help the fair damsels
carry them! What do you think of
that? Not only did they refuse to
carry the buckets but they made fun
of our original hat creations, and
told us how perfectly morbid we
looked without make-up. However,
we did manage to get a few compli
ments on our upsweeps. One nice boy
was heard to tell a poor bucket-toot
ing pledgie that she was in the wrong
building, and that the scrub woman’s
society was located two blocks down.
Ah, yes, I’m afraid, the age of chiv
alry died a slow death that week.
All I have to say is that they will be
sorry when we get offers from New
York designers who want us to re
produce our botanical chapeaus for
them and set up a new trend in hair
style..
Speaking of botanical things, I
heard about an amusing incident that
came to pass in Mr. Steele’s botany
“Censored”
Compliments of
HI’S
MEWS
SHOP
Exclusive Men's Wear
MARKLE BANK BLDG.
HAZLETON, PA.
IS3HSHSHSH.
iiimiiiHiiiiHimiiiiß
CERULA’S
Cigar Store
Candy - Ice Cream
Cigars - Cigarettes
TOBACCO
121 EAST BROAD STREET
HAZLETON, PA.
■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■
class the other day. It seems that
Mr. Steele was trying to lecture the
students on the wonders of the po
tato plant, and some developments
brought about by modern science,
when all of a sudden Jimimy Fisher
indicates he has a contribution to
make to the information already
given. Mr. Steele gladly gives him
the floor and our eager young stu
dent begins in all seriousness to tell
everyone that they are now growing
potato plants on top of the A & P. i
He said it with such a serious face I
that he actually convinced Mr. Steele !
of the fact. It’s moments such as
those that make school worth going
to.
Ah, this social life here at HUC is
really wearing me to a frozzle. Thus
far we have played five basketball
games with more in sight.
The really big issue at this moment
is the Christmas Semi-Formal. All
students await the day with eager
ness. The Student Council has made
reservations at the Hotel Altamont,
and it will be the scene of swishing
gowns and swash buckling Romeos.
College life ... I love it.
Have to dash now before I get
caught short on a History outline.
’Bye now,
Lo L.
FEATURING
Tomorrow's
Fashions
TODAY
for the
Smart Women
Hazleton
c 5K«p
2 W. Broad St. V
HAZLETON, PA
(Pfß^nrWCGr
CITIZEN
PUBLISHING GO.
37-39 East Chestnut Street
Phone 3132 Hazleton, Pa
Compliments of
CHENETZ'S
Men's Shop
Morris Chenetz Samuel Koplin
25 WEST BROAD STREET
HAZLETON, PA.
Telephone 2454
Government has been a fossil; it
should be a plant. —Emerson
i An inferiority complex is like
; wealth. It should be a blessing if the
i right people had it.
Genius is gold in the mine; talent
is the miner who works and brings it
ou i-- —Lady Blessington
By the time you swear you’re his,
shivering and sighing, and he vows
his passion is infinite, undying
lady, make a note of this: one of
you is lying. —Dorothy Parker
Republics end through luxury;
monarchies through poverty.
Race horses feel the cold more
acutely than other horses,” says a
writer. Still there are always gen
erous members of the public eager
to put their shirts on the animals.
Lauderbach & Co.
CLOTHIERS & FURNISHERS
Men's, Women's and Children's
SHOES
111-113 WEST BPOAD STREET
HAZLETON, PA.
STANLEY
STUDBO
"PHOTOGRAPHS
TO THE
PARTICULAR"
112 NORTH WYOMING ST.
HAZLETON, PA.
DEEMER & CO.
-Stationers-
OFFICE AND SCHOOL SUPPLIES
Greeting Cards and Books
224 WEST BROAD STREET
HAZLETON, PA.
TAKE SOME
PILGRIM CANDY
HOME FOR THE FAMILY
36 W. Broad St., Hazleton, Pa
HAVE YOU SEEN THE
COLLEGE JEWELRY
STATIONERY
THE BOOK STORE
CAMPUS
SANDWICH
SHOP
125 South Church Street
Complete line of Sandwiches, Ham
burgs, Hot Dogs, Pies, Cakes, Buns,
Coffee, Mi/k and Soda.
Compliments of
CONEY ISLAND
RESTAURANT
Compliments of
The
LEADER STORE
—Montesquieu