GUARDIAN
ANGEL
by Deborah Berger
. Do you believe in Guard
ian Angels?
I do; at least, I be
lieve in mine. The question
is whether my own guardian an
gel believes in me. Let me
explain...,
I was in a vacant class
room yesterday trying to get
some work done. I say
"try
ing" because pencil points
were breaking, books were
falling, ventilators were fum
ing, and eyes were going
crossed. It was when
,I con
signed the whole project to
the infernal regions that my
very own Guardian Angel ap
peared to me. I know she was
my Guardian Angel because I
don't know many other persons
who look like a miniature
Deborah Berger with wings.
She also had positive identi
fication--a G.A. badge and a
visa to get into the country--
so I have no doubts. Our con
versation went something like
this:
"You will be leaving
Highacres soon, Deborah."
"I know. Listen, could
you sit over there on the
windowsill? I don't suppose
anybody else can see you, so'
as it is now it looks like I'm
talking to myself."
"In a way, you are."
"Ah yes, Well, what are
you here for? I like the
climate in Hazleton, if that's
your business."
"You didn't sound like
that a moment ag0..."
"I repent! Please be
serious."
"So be it. You have com
mitted a multitude of errors
here at Highacres, Deborah."
"So have you, or I
wouldn't have tripped over my
tennis racket last week. But
give me a for instance anyway."
"For instance, you have
not formed real attachments.
The lives of some of your
friends have become tangled
like a dish of spaghetti,
while you have remained a
meatball on the side."
"Please! You take care
of the guardian business and
I'll handle the metaphors!"
Highacres Collegian, May 20, 1974-Page Three
"pia! I've seen the stuff begin with an absurd pvellise
you come up with! Writing and get progessively worse.
feature articles without "Remember that the cam.
morals is like making holupki puter has feelings, too. Do
without cabbage. lam here to not kick it or swear at it
do some moralizing." unnecessarily.
"Well, stop trying to be "Do not hand out excuses
eloquent. Have you got a when reasons are much more
culinary fixation?" desirable.
"That's another of your "Students, please refrain
mistakes. You complain too from threatening the sanity of
much. Just because the Psy. your profs by handing in, on
13 books don't have indices . a wet day, papers written on
and the shortcut from the Book- that parchment-like bond that
store to the Library was sticks to the fingers and
roped 0ff..." smudges.
"Look here. That's all "And profs, no matter
part of the Poor Student's how bad things get, resist the
Lament. We have a right to temptation to post the wrong
feel sorry for ourselves office hours outside your door
occasionally." in order to obtain some pri
"Balderdash. Stop flail
ing your arms around like that.
People can see. Now harken;
for I have some sage ( and
thymely) advice for you and
all at Highacres:
"I give unto you the
secret of a humorous feature--
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"And. to all members 6f
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"Amen."
And so I went away to seek
my Methodist confessor.
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