Page Two-Highacres Collegian, May 7, 1974
edna: the poor studenti philosopher
This is my twelfth col
umn since I landed at High
acres. I have seen and heard
many things. What goes in
one ear usually comes out my
pen. So here is a lesson in
"Righacres Double Talk."
"Lend me a quarter for a
phone call"--really means--"I
want to play more air hockey."
"Don't write more than
one bluebook, it's quality,
not quantity"--really means--
"Sixteen pages of your chicken
scratch is plenty."
"It may only be twenty
five multiple choice"--really
means--"It will definitely be
thirty-five multiple guess,
ten completion, and an essay."
"Have you seen Dale?"--
really means--" Where has Dale
left his lunch?"
Nig!Tants On&plan
XLiliD QF DIRECTORS
John Busher...Editor-in-Chief
Maria Rovito.Exeontive Editor
Dale ilialok..Dusiness Manager
Linda Gallagher. Managing Editor
Prod Eolet.Produotion Manager
Lawrence Suhreasoulty Advisor
rc7ri
NEWS: D. Serfaeo-Editor, D.
'Borger, C. Kokinda, N. Meiser,
N.J. Rovito, C. Tito.
ENTEITAIMST: S. Tatsko-Editor
T. Seo.
FEATURE: D. Berger-Editor,
Edna, M.J. Rovito.
EDITORIAL' N.J. Rovito-Editor,
J. Mullen.
ADVERTISING: J. Roslevieh-Mana
ger, L. Gallagher, D. Mack.
PROTOGRAPHYt Anyone with a
oanera.
SPORTS: MLA• DeLazio-Editor,
W. Michael•
COMPOSITION: D.Bever-Manager,
L.Gallagher, P.Kolet, W.
Michael, J.Roelevich,
Rovito, D.Serfase, D.Walck.
The COLLEGIAN ie located in
the Publications office in
the S.U.B. game room.
"Would you like to help?"
--really means--"I just vol
unteered you f0r...."
"Don't worry, all you
have to do to pass this course
is"--really means--" Worry!"
Mr. Schneider would like
to see you"--really means--
"The computer has denied your
existence again."
"Congratulations, you
have just been selected for
really means--" Please send
cold cash to see your name in
print."
"This is the end of this
column"--really means--" Edna
has run out of philosophy."
VAGABOND
BUGS
by Deborah Berger
When I was called upon to
write up a piece concerning the
gypsy moth problem, my first
impulse was to chuck the COL
LEGIAN Assignment sheet and
submit an article entitled "Re
vealed! Chorus Members Receive
Their Grades Because They Pro-,
vide Free Musical Entertainment
For The English Faculty During
THE Faculty's Office Hours (Or
The True Reason For Dr. Suhre's
Leaving The South Building)"
and'then wait for the general
response, which may or may not
have been fun. The fact is
that I don't know any more
about these moths than the
next person, but I wasn't about
to go out of my way to learn
anything new with a deadline
creeping up my spine. You
would do the same thing, I be
lieve; you will agree that
school is a nice venture when
it doesn't interfere with one's
literary efforts.
At any rate, I do know
that it is in poor taste to
joke about gypsy moths, and,
Lord knows, is is virtually
impossible to joke with them.
I speak from personal experi
ence. Also, while I believe
that any creature associated
with those persons of the Gyp
sy persuasion is a creature to
be reckoned with, I also be
lieve that, if the stars were
earning their salary, a minor
pox would fall upon the indivi
dual responsible for this appel
lation. It is positively defam-
continued from bottom
SAing (few things are negative
ly defamating), to the Gypsies,
'anyway, if not to the moths.
e have seen that, unfortunate
ly, nothing seems to be defam
ating to Porthetria dispar this
side of the River Styx, and no
amount of name-calling is going
to change their way of thinking.
Again, I speak from personal
experience, as a person who
would no sooner refer to these
beasties - (who are to be held
accountable for more defolia
tion than the Duke of Mantua)
as "gypsy moths" than to walk
into a Shinto temple and hol
ler "Banzai!" It is just not
tactful.
Now I would possibly con
done The Gypsy Moths as the
name of a singing group--
we have become rather blase
about these things and would
accept anything as the name of
a singing group without sur
prise--but that is another
story. It has always seemed
to me that the Slash and Burn
Policy should be the title
of a foreign aid program pro
posed by two Congressmen.
This concern moths only by
imaginitive overtime.
The Spanish word for
" moth," by the way, is 1121 7
illa, which sounds for all
the world like an ice cream
flavor. While we're on it,
the Spanish word for "Gypsy"
is gitano, which hardly sounds
very flattering. The French
have a word for "moth" which
sounds obscene. I would like
to know what the'Gypsies call
the French, at least when they
are in good moods.
But be that as it may, I
am all in favor of the trendy
project of getting the winged
pests out of their Srbuscular
howffs, just so long as we do
not get ethnic about it.
PERFECTION
by James Mullen
A year ago when I was tak
ing the International Understand
ing course offered on this cam
pus, Dr. Miller, the instructor,
presented a question to the
class which ran along these
lines: What effect does the
media, and television in par
ticular, have on the public?