END-OF-TERM PANIC
The unrest among freshman
is becoming noticeable, and
most sophomores have been
suffering from "end-of-term
panic" since late in the fifth
week of classes. As a result,
many a student walks around
Highacres in a daze, so wrapped
up in his own thoughts that he
rarely perceives anything
beyond the tip of his nose.
Despite all this, it is doubt
ful that anyone who has travel
led the road leading from the
athletic field to the class
room building or the reverse,
has not observed a few campus
newcomers.
Students (especially
female): PSU Hazleton Campus
has been temporarily blessed
with a few more male inhabit
ants, construction workers, to
be exact. These able-bodied
men are - under the direction of
Jim Massingale. All are em
ployed by the well-known
Pittsburgh-Des Moines Steel.
Contrary to the rumor circulat-
HUMPTY
continued from page two
can do to brighten your day and
that of those around you.
Answer the phone by saying "Jel
lo!" Sing when you're driving
alone so that other drivers will
think you're talking to your
self. In fact, it often helps
to sing when you're not alone--
Russian folk songs, maybe.
Send the mayor a birthday card
on your own birthday. When you
get to the language lab, pick
up the microphone and say, %L I.
hombre! Yo soy Wolfman Juan!"
Insist that "Rosencrantz e and
Guildenstern live!" Quote Robin
Hood. Grow a cactus. Wear
artichoke leaves in your hat
and macrame your shoelaces.
If you let your imagination run
rampant, you can come up with
all kinds of wonderful things
to do.
My own favorite diversion
is writing feature articles.
I've already tried most of the
ideas I have just listed. Be
lieve me, they do wonders for
your reputation.
by Janilou Maderick
ing among the members of the
girls' aerobics classes, these
men are here neither to watch
nor to place bets on the girls
they see running down the road.
The product of their labors
will be a water tower for use
by Penn State Hazleton Campus
in the gymnasium yet to be
built, and for increased water
pressure.
None of these men are from
the immediate area. All are a
long way from home, so let's
make them welcome during their
stay at'"Misty Mountain." They
will be our guests for only
four or five more weeks; don't
let them leave without having
experienced a sample of High
acres hospitality. Stop slink
ing self-consciously past their
work area without a word. Instead
why not surprise them with a
friendly "Hi!" as you stroll or
jog by? They're really very
nice guys. Brighten their day,
and yours, too--(smile at Jim
or one of his boys today!
WELCOME
Mr. Peter A. Klomp, Jr.,
from Erie, is the new
Assistant Director for Contin
uing Education at the Hazleton
Campus.
Mr. Klomp will be in charge
of programming graduate and un
dergraduate evening classes on
our campus and in area communi
ties. Special groups for busi
ness and industry and other ad
ult groups will also be develo
ped.
A former high school ath
letic director and coach, Mr.
Elomp is an authority on foot
ball, wrestling, and golf.
Along with sports interests, he
enjoys reading history books
and has already taught modern
European hiStort at the under
graduate level for Penn State.
Mr. Klomp comes to us from
the Delaware County Campus and
the King of Prussia Graduate
Center of Penn State. The COL
LEGIAN staff takes this op
portunity to welcome Mr. Klomp
to the Hazleton Campus.
HIGHACRES COLTSG
lAN, NOVEMBER 16, 1973 - PAGE 3
AKOMETZA --
CUMIN
by Dr. Michael Santulli
Every minute it's coming
closer. Scientists say it will
e the most spectacular cosmic
display in centuries. Named
after its discoverer the
KOHOUTEK comet will soon appear
in our skies and be brightest
on December 4th.
Scientifically a comet is
of interest because its na-
ture's way of dissipating ener
gy. But few realize the effect
on human lives of such energy
discharges.
As everyone knows a comet
is a fiery ball traveling
through space, with a tail.
Now this is a tale. But comets
have tails like things dogs are
wagged by. Tails tend to be
like rubbery bones, and hairy.
Not many realize how hairy this
tail is.
EXPECT DRAMATIC EVENTS IN
THE COMING DAYS
Haley's comet brought
Mark Twain and supposedly took
him with it. KOHOUTEIC will
bring about an equally dramatic
turn of events.
SOME THINGS TO '4ATCH FOR
Students in the coming days will
grow increasingly agitated.
English teachers will bay at
the comma (sic).
Men will take to the woods with
fire sticks in search of horned
creatures.
Water will fall out of the air
and turn white.
Turkeys will become scarce.
The POISON CRANBERRY will make
many GOBBLE.
Bellies will swell.
A new term will begin and end
in a fortnight.
When the comet swishes its
tail, whole nations will hear
bells and holly (sic) see.
Toes will be mistled. Dear
rain will be slayed. Some
will be jolly. Some will be
sleighed and many will be
deeranged.
If you see the comet cov
er your left eye with your
right hand to ward off its spell,
and think only of those you
love. Don't listen to bells
because the tail is tolled.