Gimmick
Hey, young America, do you
remember the saying, "You
gotta have a gimmick? In case
you don't, the saying was used
to indicate that everything
nowadays had to have some kind
of gimmick, or idea, to sell itself.
However, there is something
that has always had a gimmick,
but was never brought to
light--rock music. Yes, rock
music is commercial and has
been for a while.
Let's start with Elvis Presley.
In 1956, Elvis began to sing the
blues. But along with the blues,
he used a technique that drove
girls wild—his gyrations. He used
to swivel his hips, and make his
voice melt. And along with his
swiveled hips and melting voice,
there were also melting girls. In
1960, Chubby Checker
popularized the twist. The twist
was semi-sexy, because every
part of the body moved. IT
TWISTED' However, these
devices aren't the only ones that
have been used.
In the beginning, the Beatles
used their hair, clothes, and the
style of group itself to succeed.
Remember those screams?l
Every thing was
Beatlemailia--beatle wigs,
haircuts, clothes, cards, boots,
etc. I'm not saying that the
Beatles wouldn't have made it
on their own-surely their talent
would have emerged. However,
their gimmicks gave them the
start which they might not have
had otherwise.
alife around pills, while Jimi
llendrix's album, "Electric Lady
Rainbow Aquarium
15 North Wyoming.St
455-6989
by Maria Rovito
Land," is acid rock. The
The drug scene plays a role
too. The Rolling Stone's,
"Mother's Little Helpers," shows
quietness of the Association is
disrupted by "Along Comes
Mary," a song about the evils of
marijuana.
Violence, also, draws crowds.
Take a look at Alice Cooper,
who has a tendency to hang
himself quite often. Not once
and for all. But quite often. Jimi
Hendrix used to burn his guitar
on stage, while The Who used to
end their performance by
wrecking their instruments.
Another gimmick is
irreverence. Ever listen to
George Carlen? His cuts on the
Church are unreal. "Aqualung"
by Jethro Tull is another
criticism on catholicism.
Perhaps the biggest gimmick
of all is sex. Whether normal or
not, it's what sell.s Edgar
Winters, Lou Reed, and David
Bowie are supposedly bissexuals,
while Alice Cooper gives the
impression of being "different."
T.Rex, Iggy and the Stooges,
and Tina Turner have used it.
Mick Jagger, with his wild
clothes, and songs has used sex.
Even the chic and sophisticated
Sonny and Cher use an
undertone of sex. Why not?
There's nothing really wrong
with it.
The thing is, although rock
groups use gimmicks, if they are
not really talented, the group
won't last. Maybe that's the
unusual thing about these
groups. Some of them will last.
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The Rustygate Affair
Dr. Aurand, disguising his
famous derby as a receiving
station and his umbrella as an
antenna, felt his suspicions were
confirmed when his tracking
equipment led him directly, in a
somewhat embarrassing
situation, to Mr. Fogelson's
stomach. Aurand immediately
reported his theory that,
apparently, some bugs had been
concealed in the Blond Brownies
themselves, and Mr. Fogelson, in
his zeal, had inadvertently eaten
them. While continuing his.
investigation, Aurand traced the
crumbs to Dean McCallus's
waste-can. Upon closer
inspection, a raisin containing a
bugging device was discovered in
the waste-can. The possibility of
foul play was not ruled out, as
Duck feathers were also found.
Meanwhile, Dr. Staudenmeier
arrived at his office one morning
to find Dr. Aurana's
paychological files stolen,
probably to be analyzed by Mr.
McKinistry. By this time, audio
transmitting devices were
turning up all over the campus,
and the general population
began to express boredom at the
mention of the subject. In fact,
by some bizarre quirk of fate, a
number of bugging devices were
found in the Collegian office,
when Ziggv, technical advisor to
the director of maintenance and
sanitation, literally stumbled
upon a mass of wires hidden in
the closet. The logical
conclusion drawn by the Board
of Directors of the newspaper,
led by John F. Busher, was that
the SGA coveted one of two
possessions of the The logical
conlcu The logical conclusion
drawn
HIGNACRES COLLEGIAN,
Continued from page 1
of the newspaper, led by John F.
Busher, was that the SGA
coveted one of two possessions
of the Collegian: either the SGA
files or the suggestive calendar
that adorns the north wall of the
office
In prompt retaliation,
the staff assigned Michael
Petresky to infiltrate the SGA
meetings with bugs in his
knapsack. Petresky was later
arrested on charges of being a
double agent and all-around bad
guy. During Petresk's absence,
Jack Yatsko was sent out on the
three-fold mission fo finding out
the SGA's purpose in bugging
the newspaper ofrice. Obtaining
the SGA'S files on the Collegian,
and learning if Rally Loomis
squeezes the Charmin in the
McAdoo IGA. Meanwhile, it was
universally conceeded that the
soccer team and the Highacres
Choruse were so far completely
innocent.
Mr. Campbell found the
entire sordid affair a personal,
moral and ethical dilemna. Torn
between his sense of moral duty
to report the suspicious
goings-on to the police and his
loyalty to the campus, Campbell
was wracked with indecision.
It was later found that Bob
Henry, President of the SGA,
had no knowledge of the
Collegian bugging and the act
itself was in fact instigated by
Henry's successor, Warren Faust
and his cohort Mark Denke.
When questioned about his
involvement in the affair, Faust
replied, "No comment." It was
further noted by the astute
observations of Dr. Aurand that
Faust apparently had
transmittin: devices hidden in
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C :Yellifti
Downtown
In the Center of Shopping
JUNE 7, 1973-PAGE SEVEN
his right shoulder. This surfaced
when Aurand noticed that Faust
had acquired the peculiar
mannerism of asking people to
talk into his shoulder and
yelling, "Don't hit it!" which
was later construed to be some
form of code system.
Following a brief period of
calm and apparent efforts to
cover up the affair, it was
discovered by Dale Walck, who
was later arrested for conducting
subversive speaking seminars
condemning the conduct of
certain high officials that the
English spy who purloined
purloined Dr. Aurand's
psychological files was none
other than Mrs. Bodenstein. It
seems that a member of the
Belles-Lettres Society had
broken into Professor Kafka's
shopping bag, who gave them to
a Sigma Theta Phi girl, who, in
turn, passed them on to Mrs.
Bodenstein. The ashes of the
files were later found in a
waste-can in the Main Building.
When the can was overtuned, the
words "Aurand Save the
Queen!" were seen written in
fish and chips.
The Faculty Investigating
Committee, however, was not
relaxing during all this. Dr.
Miller acquired some Blonde
Brownies and handed them to
Dr. Win, who performed a
chemical analysis and came up
with a rather shocking
breakthrough in the case. While
the confectionary treats had
been known to the public under
the appellatives of either Vanilla
Fudge or Blond Brownies, their
popularity was actually due to
the fact that they could be more
accurately descrived as HASH
BROWNIES!