HIGHACRES COLLEGIAN, NOVEMBER 16, 1972, PAGE TWO
edna:
the
poor
student's
philosopher
(with apologies to Hal Boyle)
You are now a college
freshman and friends, relatives
and neighbors are asking you a
thousand questions. You explain
your future plans, dreams and
ambitions. That is when you
hear the most discouraging
remarks ever said to a freshman:
So you're gonna be another
unemployed teacher.
Well Martha, did you find a
man yet?
So you're gonna be another
unemployed engineer.
Been to any hippie
demonstrations this week?
If everyone went to college
we'd soon be out of plumbers.
So you're gonna be another
unemployed journalist.
Well, Leonard, instead of
shooting at the Commies
you'll be right in there with
them.
So you're gonna be another
unemployed technician.
Why don't you quit school
and get a half decent job
before its too late?
Of course we also have Dr.
Santulli's alternative—the
PICKLE FACTORY!!!
EtollarrrEi Tolirgiatt
The Collegian office is located in the Memorial Building.
Office hours are Monday thru Friday, 1-4 p.m.
BOARD OF DIRECTORS
Tricia Fisher Editor-in-chief
Dave Crofcheck Executive Editor
Dale Walck Business Manager
Linda Gallagher Managing Editor
Pattieanne Ignar Production Manager
Richard Campbell Faculty Advisor
STAFF
News: Linda Gallagher, Debbie Berger,
Pattieanne Ignar, Mike Petresky,
Dave Crofcheck, Gloria Holoneck,
Cindy Lauer, John Busher,
Entertainment: Jack Yatsko, Mark Rusin
Sports: Jon Gross, Mary Angie Delazio.
Feature: Edna. Janilou Maderick; Debbie Berger
Editorial Writers: Dave Crofcheck, Linda
Gallagher, Dale Walck, John Busher,
Advertising: Dale Walck, Dave Crofcheck,
Cathy Mulligan , Linda Gallagher.
Photography: Highacres Camera Club, Mark Denke.
Composition: Pattieanne Ignar-Editor, JoAnn
Depretis, Cindy Lauer, Becky Harris, Linda
Gallagher, Dale Walck, Dave Crofcheck,
and a cast of thousands.
Opinions , expressed In The HIGHACRES COLLEGIAN are
those of Individual contributors and do not necessarily reflect the
official views of The COLLEGIAN.
Unsigned editorials represent
IOLLEGIAN.
Responsible comment to material published in The
COLLEGIAN Is Invited. A 0 letters must be type-written and signed.
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Letter Policy
Kard King
by John Busher
It happened once that in the
land of PSU there was a fair lad
that paid $2BO a term for classes
and took up permanent
residence in the SUB as the local
pinochle shark. This lad was
hooked on cards and grew
immensely fat and totally
oblivious to the happenings
around him. He also holds the
PSU record for going the
distance on a pinochle table. His
longest streak being from 9:00
in the morning until 6:30 that
night.
0 n e only need walk into ;
the SUB to recognize this lad
and his friends. Their most
noticable trait is that of the
many "ha ha's," "ho ho's," "hee
hee's" and other assorted
philisophical utterances which
are made to break the sound
barriers, as well as, the eardrums.
In the future, I would like to see
pimochle added as an elective
with credits, so that these
people will get sick of it and go
to other classes.
I salute our local pinochle
champ and wish him many
hands to come. Although his
grades will leave something to be
desired, Mainly figures other
than zero, I don't wish in any
way to discourage the champ
from his game,so I say to you
champ, "Just keep on
trumping!"
the official opinions of The
HOW DOES OUR
CAMPUS EXPAND?
SLOWLY
I invited myself to a rather
interesting English I class
yesterday, and I discovered that
there are still a few inventive and
interesting people left on
campus. It was nice to see a prof
trying to do something different
and interesting for a course like
English I. I mean, let's face it,,.
when a course is a necessity with
so many students, there could be
a tendency for the course to get
stale. It is really great that this
isn't happening.
I think one good thing that
came out of yesterday's class,
for me, was the realization that
the English department at
Highacres is going places. It is,
slow, and it has met with quite a
few obstacles, but these
problems are being overcome.
There has been a lot of work put
into expanding the program, and
they really deserve a lot of
credit. Last term the future
looked bleak for new English
courses at Highacres, but thanks
to Professor Concanon and the
whole English department, we
are beginning to break into the
continued on page six
College paper wins
endorsement righti-
(ZNS) College newspapers
across the United States received
some good news from—of all
places—the Internal Revenue
Service last week.
The IRS ruled that college
newspapers—even those
supported partly by school
funds—may endorse political
candidates without loosing their
tax-exempt status. A test case on
this matter arose back in 1968
when Columbia University's
student newspaper endorsed the
candidacy of Black Panther
Leader Eldridge Cleaver—who
was running on the Peace and
Freedom and People's Party
tickets.
After reviewing the legality
of the tax-exempt question for
three years, the IRS finally ruled
that endorsing political
candidates is part of the training
a journalist should receive in
school. Therefore, said the IRS,
newspaper editors should be
given the freedom to make
political endorsements even if
they are supported by non-profit
institutions.
Luther,
Come
Home!
by Janilou Maderick
Be careful where you step
students, and try out, your best
caterpillar calls, for Luther has
been lost (temporarily, we
hope). Before you rush out and
storm the nearest church in
zealous endeavor to relocate
him, let more , information be
offered as to his identity.
Luther is thus far the only
wooly bear caterpillar officially
reported to be residing on the
Hazleton Campus. Not only is he
one of the most amiable
ambassadors of Mother Nature
to the Highacres student body
imaginable, he is also the
beloved pet and companion of a
dedicated fellow student.
Last seen in the vicinity of
the trash receptacle near the
SUB, Luther can be easily
recognized by his unmistakable
colorings. He, like all wooly
bears this yeai is two-thirds
black and one-third brown in a
tristriped formation.
If, on the way to class you
happen to glance at the ground
and notice a smiling, fuzzy two
and a half inch creature creeping
casually across your path, do us
a favor. Please resist those initial
malicious temptations, and
refrain from "organically
recycling" him. Instead, gently
nudge him in the direction of
the Collegian Office. Your kind
help in this search will be greatly
appreciated. By the way, his
name is one that all Soc 1
students can appreciate. Luther's
colorings designate him into
belongingto one of the least
socially accepted groups in the
U.S. His name is an effort to
compensate for this and insure
his social acceptance.
Please aid us in our search.
Be assured that whatever Luther
may lack in appearance, he
makes up for in personality. We
know you will love him as much
as we do. Thank you.
Edna says: "People w o sit in
the SUB for hours and skip
classes, merely for the pleasure
of 'throwing' cards at each other
are CRAZY!"
Armour
Stars
I have a friend named Richard
Armour but unfortunately (for
both of us) he doesn't know it.
Anyway, in his book "American
Lit Relit", he invented a game in
which he takes a famous first
line of the poetry of Longfellow
and adds what he calls "an
infamous second line." For
example:
(( Tell me not, in mournful
numbers,
The price you paid for two
cucumbers."
Well, I liked his idea so much
that I started doing some of my
own, using different authors.
Read on..
How would you like to go up
in a swing
up in the air so blue?
If I were sure you'd let me
down again
you sly rapscallion, you!
I must go down to the sea
again, to the lonely sea and
the sky-
And all I ask is a Dramamine
and a chance to throw a pie.
In Xanadu did Kublai Kahn
Forget to put his stockings
on.
Oh young Lochinoor is come
out of the West;
I hope_ he doesn't come here,
the pest!
What's in a name? A rose by
any other name
Would still make me sneeze.
And what is so rare as a day in
June?
Easy—an oyster dancing with
a baboon.
Once upon a midnight dreary
We all got crocked in the
Tavern O'Leary.
I am also a collector of these
things. Therefore, I submit the
following invitation to anyone
who thinks he can compose
them: take time out some
evening, loosen your
strait-jacket, ask for an extra
ration of crackers and jam, tell
your custodian to write down
what you dictate, and then keep
everything to yourself. Under no
circumstances have - your work
sent to the Collegian Office. I
have all I can handle without
competition.
proposed
tax
on students
(ZNS) A special tax on
college students? A lot of cities
and towns are considering it.
The city of Evanston,
Illinois, has killed a controversial
proposal that would have levied
a $3O per year tax on college
students—at least for the time
being.
The tax, if levied, would
have affected the 10,000
students at Northwestern
University in Evanston. The
Evanston City Council last week
voted 11 to 6 to indefinitely
postpone any action on the
by Debbie Berger