HIGHACRES COLLEGIAN, NOVEMBER 1, 1971
Editorial cornmen
"I hope that I shall never see a campaign poster on a tree!"
Rip-off the
candidates tomorrow
Within the past few weeks, a large number of trees in the
Greater Hazleton Area have developed some sort of strange
disease which heretofore afflicted only wooden telephone poles
and city light standards. The only outward sign of this disease is
an unsightly blotch called an election poster. It seems that this
"blotch" appears regularly before election day when candidates
try to reach the voters with their message. The "blotch" lasts
indefinitely, depending on when some good samaritan rips it off
the tree. You can bet that it is a very rare candidate who.sees to it
that his posters are removed after the campaign.
The effects of this disease are felt not only by the tree, but
also by those of us human beings who appreciate and respect the
existence 'and sight of a healthy, stately tree. We can safely
assume that those candidates who debase and deface our trees
have little or no respect for trees and nature in general.
The Bell Telephone Co. of Penna. has outlawed the posting
of election bills on their wooden poles. Perhaps the only way to
prevent the bills from showing up nailed to trees is for some
ecology minded group to petition City Council to pass an
ordinance against it.
In tomorrow's election, we urge all students to refrain
fromvoting for those candidates responsible for this "disease."
Who are they? Just look at a tree in your neighborhood and
you're sure to find one of their campaign posters.
"Censorship reflects a society's lack of confidence in itself."
-Justice Potter Stewart
11,e Eigtlarres Tollrviatt
The Collegian office is located in the Memorial Building
Office hours are Monday thru Friday, 1.4 p.m.
BOARD OF DIRECTORS
John Roslevich, Jr
E. J. Pietroski
T. W. Heppe
Richard Campbell
STAFP
NEWS: Amine Cumsky, Cindy Lonoconus, Margaret
Grego, Anne McKinstry, John Mertz.
ENTERTAINMENT: Jean Yeselski, Leßoy of
Warrington. SPORTS: Craig Knouse, editor; Jack
McCutcheon. ADVERTISING: Bob Allison, manager;
Gloria Maksimak. COMPOSITION: Lorraine Drake, Anita
Thomas, Deb Soroka, Thomas Heppe, JoAnn Depretis.
PHOTOGRAPHY: Charlie Fox, Gary Welsh, Paul
Pianovich. EDITORIAL WRITERS: Mel Mundie, Richard
Rockman.
Letter Policy
Opinions expressed in The HIGHACRES COLLEGIAN are
those of Individual contributors and do not necessarily reflect the
official views of The COLLEGIAN.
Unsigned editorials represent the official opinions of The
COLLEGIAN.
Responsible-- comment to material published in The
COLLEGIAN Is Invited. All letters must be type-written and signed.
Faculty Members are students are invited to submit articles to
be published in a special section of The COLLEGIAN entitled
'impact.' Articles and other material (poems included) should be no
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PAGE TWO
Editor-in-chief
Business Manager
Production Manager
Faculty Advisor
Steal this editorial
DEAR ABBIE: OUTASITE!! I read your book and I think it
is outasite. Real dynamite! I mean, I never knew there were so
many groovy ways to rip-off the piggies, you know?l was so
turned on after finishing your book that I just couldn't wait to
try some of your suggestions.
I really didn't know anybody there, but I got on the phone
and called Sydney, Australia and I charged it to some number I
made up like you showed me. When I finally got Australia I asked
for the time and temperature and hung up. Boy, was that nifty.
And I'm glad I finally got back at that phone company and the
pigs who run it, 'cause, after all, they're richer than we are and
they can afford to lose some money! Look at how much they
overcharge us and how many dimes we've lost in their &t%s+@ * !
machines, right? S. CREAMCHEESE
DEAR S. CREAMCHEESE: RIGHT ON! That's the spirit I
like to see. With people like you on our side we'll get even with
all those money-grubbing establishment creeps yet, and we'll get
back what is rightfully ours: THEIR MONEY!
DEAR ABBIE: I have an important question I hope you can
answer for me. After we rip off the establishment and we take
over the country and make it better, what's gonna stop the old
establishment from throwing a monkey wrench into OUR system
by ripping US off7FANNY
DEAR. FANNY: You are laboring under a misconception.
Who says we want to take over the establishment? We're only in
it for the rip-off!
DEAR ABBIE: Send me a copy of your book! I'm as mad
as&t%s+@*!! I want to learn how to rip off the phone company,
but good! Do I have an axe to grind with them!
My old man was real sick in the hospital with some disease I
can't even pronounce. The doctors said it was beyond them, that
they couldn't do a thing for him. I pleaded with them for his life,
but they said that it was a rare strain of some South- Sea
virus—they couldn't understand how he got it.
The docs said that there was only one man who might be
able to save him, some famous specialist in Australia. Well,l tried
all night to get in contact with him, but that &t%s+@*! phone
company kept telling me that all the overseas operators and
phone lines were busy!
Can you imagine that? Because of their crazy phone service
my old man hadda kick off. So send me your book, Dear Abbie,
and show me how to get my revenge. GRIZELDA
DEAR GRIZELDA: Please write again enclosing $1.95 to
cover the cost of my book plus $.25 for postage and handling,
and I will send you a copy.
• CONFIDENTIAL TO SUZY Q. IN THE LITTLE RED
SCHOOL HOUSE: That phrase the old lady said to you when she
caught you in her garden disguised as a Boy Scout trying to steal
her gardenias was written by Robert Zimmerman. I looked up the
complete, correct quote in my copy of The Encyclopedia of the
Revolution(which I lifted from The New York Public Library,
incidentally) and it reads,"To live outside the law you must be
honest."
DEAR ABBIE: I had the strangest hallucination while under
the influence last night and perhaps your readers would enjoy
reading about it. Here it is:
I dreamed that I was "Super-Stealer," brought to EArth with
powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal stealers. I was
walking along in my secret identity when all of a sudden I saw
Roll on, roll on.
We've got so much g
Deadline time is here and not one concrete idea to develop.
It's not thatsubjects are lacking. Just the opposite. So much is
happening. Difficult to choose. More difficult to find the time.
Time. Mid-terms, you know. Weird schedule. Crisis to crisis to
crisis. Where is that class schedule? Wham! Quiz time—exam time.
All-nighter time. Any questions? Ask me. I'm an expert. Sleep is a
bad habit. Mind over matter. Once you get into high gear, you
have to stay there. Slow down, or stop, and starting again doesn't
come easy.
A full schedule of classes. Forty-eight work hours a week.
Anybody for a thirty-six hour day?Or an eight day week? Still,
you have to get involved. Or is it that you can't say no?At any
rate, you pass this way only once. Can't forget you started late.
No time for later. Later is now. At least for you.
A lot of campus activity. Publicity is poor. My jr,to...my
responsibility. Need an organization...a sound procedure. Could
use some help. A lot of help. Cool it until after mid-terms. One
crisis at a time. Scheduling is the thing now. Arrange your
priorities. Sneak in with the goods in just enough time to avert
the crisis. Don't relax. Solve one, then schedule another. There'll
always be another.
Still need a subject. How about the UN bit?Heavy?Yes.
Needs a lot of research. Still, it is fascinating. Whole thing seems
pl anned,right down to creating an atmosphere of chance
'Eck the Editor of the Collegian
I was personally appalled
by the attempts of
administration, faculty, and
students to prevent the
publication of the underground
newspaper, "Guerilla," at
Highacres. Yes, I was
personally shocked. I am not
so sure it is in vogue today to
feel a shock, but I happen to
know that the war for
independence and freedom was
not just in 1776 but is today, is
this moment, is everyday. It
seems that the freedomof the
press is not bequeathed to us at
Highacres. It must be won by
I was re-reading my
history notes and books which
had been explored and taught
carefully to me at Highacres. It
is at this particular time in my
life that I have sincere
gratitude to my Highacres
faculty and administration for
teaching me my history-- for
now this learning can warn me
to preserve my freedom and
Letters to the Editor
indeed recommend to me what
my freedom is. Here at
Highacres we are dealing with
whether or not the press
should be free. It seems this
question was settled in August
of 1735, when John Peter
Zenger, printer of the New
York Weekly Journal, was
arrested and tried for libeling--
h olding up to public
ridicule--Governor Cosby of
New York and also for printing
seditious articles--those which
aroused opposition to the
government. Faculty,
administration and students, it
seems we have John Peter
Zengers on our own campus,
doesn't it? Does the case sound
familiar? Could it be that
today is August 15, 1735, and
Highacres is the courtroom and
that Zenger and his paper are
on trial, and that we are the
jury?
There have been rumors,
jury, that the question we are
dealing with is not freedom of
the press at Highacres, but is a
by Richard Rockman
this beautiful new color television set, which the &f %s+@*!
materialistic pigs priced way out of my range, sitting in the back
of a delivery truck and the driver wasn't around. Quickly, I took
advantage of the situation. I ran into the nearest phone booth,
dropped some of my magic "Super-Stuff," and SHAZAM! I was
transformed into Super-Stealer! Taking the phone along with me
(with visions of dimes and nickels dancing in my head) I ran up to
the truck, lifted the set out with my Super-Steal-Strength, and
escaped with it. ZOWIE! I was gonna have a color TV of my very
own to watch all my favorite TV shows with!
All of a sudden, while I was running, the craziest thing
happened. The TV turned itself on without even being plugged in
and the wierdest shows tuned themselves in. First I saw John
Lennon pointing his finger at me and screaming, "Instant Karma's
gonna get you!" Then the channel changed and the next scene
was that of Amerika sinking into the sea. Then I saw this cat with
long hair and a beard and he wasn't speaking, yet I could sort of
hear what he was thinking, you know? could sort of hear what
he was thinking, you know? It's sort of hard to explain.
Anyway, the words he was thinking were burning through my
brain. I can't remember everything, but it sounded something like
"Do unto others. . .Do unto others. . ." being repeated over and
over again. I can't remember the rest of what he said. I thought
maybe it was the beginning of a famous quote or something, but
somebody hocked my copy of Batrlett's Quotationa, so I can't
look it up. Maybe some of your readers can help me out on this,
but I doubt it. It probably isn't that important. But it sure ripped
through my head.
Anyway, next thing I knew the channel changed itself again
and I saw. . . you're not gonna believe this. ..I saw MYSELF as I
was stealing the TV set just a few minutes before! But, it wasn't
the same. It was fantastic! It was psychedelic! It was wild! I saw
all sorts of colors flowing around everything! And everything
seemed so alive! Everything was pulsating! Vibrating! And as I
grabbed the TV to steal it I could see a dark murky light form
around my head and hands. And this light seemed fluid and it
grew and it flowed into the TV screen! And when this stuff
touched the TV screen (the one I was watching through the
screen in my dream) it immediately flowed out the back of the
set and spread a coat of this black gunk all across the universe!
• And on the screen through the darkness I could see (just
barely) the forms of some type of people, yet they weren't
human! And they were gazing into an enormous book and one of
them had an,old-type of quill-pen in his hand. I strained myself,
my conciousness, to be able to look over their shoulders at what
was in the book, and I momentarily glimpsed a type of
"score-box" with MY NAME on the top! The cat with the pen
was just about to inscribe something in the book when, for the
life of me, I blacked out.
I just woke up and I'm putting it all down just' as I remember
it. Crazy,huh?lt was really exciting trip. And to think reading
your book caused the right psych set for it!
Love and peace. Sign me...
Super-Stealer
READERS: Abbie enjoys reading all your questions and
comments. Send your letters to "Dear Abbie," but be sure to
omit your address and postage on eke envelope t , It's alright. Abbie
can afford to pay the due postage more than you street'people
can, right ?
ng on.
circumstance. Richard Nixon-Neville Chamberlain. "Peace in our
time." Frightening parallel. Our Allies jumped the ship. Why not?
Kissinger was wooing the Red Chinese in their own ballpark when
the vote came up in the UN. Our Allies aren't complete idiots.
They know when we are merely paying lip-service. Cute , cartoon
in the paper the other day. Berry is wild! If Kissinger asks us
about Mao, ask him about Rodgers. Rogers? Rodgers? The
spelling escapes me. Don't see his name in print much anymore.
Problems closer to home. The dorm. A little disappointed.
Hoped for more interest from the resident students. Hear bits and
pieces of chatter. Think the word was "townies." Hint of a class
structure. Just a hint. It is only fall term. Everyone needs time to
adjust. (There's that word "time" again.) They'll come around by
winter term. Won't they?
Deadline time. Quick decision time. John wants an editorial.
So be it.
Take a look into the private world of a man's mind. Skip the
grammar. A man's mind doesn't punctuate as it rambles. Nothing
concrete. No developed message. But real words.
Rest?No time. Tired?A little. Quit? Never. Plenty of time to
grow old and become satisfied. In the heirarchy of life,
satisfaction comes just before death.
Not many people get to live two lifetimes in one.
Indestructible...at least for now.
question of rules and charters.
Pennsylvania State University,
indeed, has a delicate
bureaucracy which should not
be disturbed without sufficient
cause. Jury, is your freedom
cause enough? I happen to
believe that the highest law to
be obeyed is expressed in the
Constitution and laws of the
United States of America.
Jury, did you hear the news in
your Highacres education?ln
American law the freedom of
the press EXISTS. It thtts '
seems,to me that the university
does not agree with the laws of
the land. Of course the
university agrees in theory, for
one can have freedom of the
press with the University's
permission and charter. After
surpassing many obstacles the
press can be free and like a
mere rat thrown into a maze of
theory and bureaucracy our
Peter Zenger will be over
thirty, forty, or seventy by the
time he sees his news in print.
Jury, it seems.this university. is
by Mel Mundie
now obeying the laws of the
United States of America. Is
this called treason?
Subversion?Law-breakingTho
we need the charter and the
permission of the United States
of America to go to press?lt is
rumored we- need the
University's permission.
Did you learn from your
Highacres history, as I did, that
after a people must ask
permission to speak, and then
permission to pray, and then
permission to think?
I do not see why the
University would even try to
prevent a free expression. A
strong nation like the United
States can withstand
expression, indeed thrives on
it. Are the administration,
faculty, and students afraid?
Highacres psychology has
taught me that we are not
afraid unless there is a
reason—guilt? weakness? the
truth? jury, look into your
cont'd. on page 4, column 5