Over the years* Highacres has had
some truly outstanding instructors '
serve as members of the faculty. As
a special feature, we would li':e to
tell you about a few of these really
great professors.
PROFESSOR HAMS QPICKFDTGERi
Professor Quickfingers of the
Psychology department was one of
America’s foremost, and when we say
foremost, we mean it, criminil&gists.
A few summers ago, he made a hasty
tour of the country. He got as far as
the Mexican border where he 7/as met by
colleagues and accompanied on a guided
tour to Fort Leavenworth, Kansas.
Recently, however, several business
associates immersed him in a large
vat of cement, where he became part of
the highway system between Harrisburg
and Philadelphia.
PROFESSOR F. ED PUTKO
Professor Putko 7; as the youngest
man to have a full professorship in
the chemistry department. Professor
Putko was a specialist in the theories
of the bouncing ball, expanding bubble
gum, sand piles, miniature trains,
mud cakes, finger painting, and small
hairy spiders. Students rushed to sign
up for his courses at the end of each
semester. As one eower applicant
put it, "You don’t hove to take notes
in his course. He can’t talk yet."
PROFESSOR HONUS "H AM
Professor Hocks was head of the
Physical Education department. He
won the Body Beautiful title in 1949.
This triumph was largely made possible
by his unusually developed chest muscles,
iron biceps, iron stature, iron legs,
and lead brains. In 1946, he won the
national ’Olympic heavyweight lifting
contest. He was able to support his
ponderous weight on his own two feet!
TEACHERS FHO COULDN'T STAND THE STRAIN AT HIGHACRES
SHOCKS
PROFESSOR CLAUDE "CRIBS" KOTfMEYER
Professor Kotzmeyer was professor o|*
Armenian at Highacres. He spoke modern,
medieval, and ancient Armenian fluent'y,
He spoke seventeen dialects of Armenian
He did not speak English* This dis
tracted from his general excellence as
an instructor, since he did not seem
to understand his students, nor they
him* It is recommended that for closest
harmony in the classroom, the class
should have at least one langur,ge in
common with the teacher.
BEST REMEMBERED F/CULTY MEMBER
Professor Jvan Mamhoff taught
biology and other related courses.
He received his master's degree from
Johnstown Junior College, and since
then had been teaching bi&Vfflr. \jjJe
has been instructing in the biological
sciences since 1839, and still enjoys
a good dissection. (Failing students
often donated a limb for a guaranteed
His hobbies included: Selling lob
supplies at black market pri&es, keeping
students in a state of extreme nervous
ness, and selling nerve tablets. It
was rumored that he used formaldehyde
instead of sugar in his coffee.
He was a member of the following
organizations* Anti-American League,
Shoplifters Inc., Mickey Mouse Club,
and Black Knights Motorcsij3& Club.