On hew Year's Day of every year, divisible by /1, formerly
carefree and indel,end,ntly-Ley single males the world over staro
bleary-eyed into c cracked mirror at th,ir bristly countenances.
There Cornet over their features a contortion :terming from sen
sations of horror and aprrehension. These emotions, in turn,
arc responfible to their realization that rafter their nizht of
revelry they now face a year frauLht with challenges of subtle
decel.tion, intensified to a degree with which they bay, not had
to contend throughout the throe irecedin!, years, YLE, poor
wretches, you have bcrun your harried race through 36'6 69E ooz
inL, with calumny, dcccipt, and divers unscrupulous wiles ell
practiced by tht frail, sweetly-flowered innocent-T./KAI/U.._ There
she stands:-pure on her pedestal, her hair wreeth,d artfully
about her apparently-f,uilelest face, a smile of Ph, `race upon
her lips, and her hands clasped demurely before her as tho' in a
e.esture of self-protection from the overtures of the Eurposcd at
,ressor-i„hi, . But wait! There is some small detail which our eye
ha nico„d-she is wecrinb on her feet-not some Mel/ end dainty
sandal-but, horror of horrors, sneak cm:
Dachlors of the TJorld-beware-for £0!.7 is the season or COy
cnT Lnsnarin f - lances from sultry-lidded eyes, soft caresses
from glut-covered c“:.,ntle fingers, 4and talk of a jum mc - fr of
tvo /rivets corporations all slTeetly tempered t) promises of a'
lucrative bank balance (0 shameless ruse)„,
Gentlemcn, whom or, Tic to bi.cmc for there catastrophic tiwes
While persuin3 soiric ancient crumblinL documents, which have co:ac
into this: oificels•possession by n,ens too nefarious to be mLn
tioned, ue fount' the follouin: article in a rarer doted 2L Febru
ry, 12L uncut of Scottish origin: 'ToCay e statute, has bccn or
dained to the effect that dur_LnL the rci:Ja of her most blessed
wjest 2 for each - scar . .a)ovn cc "L„or. Year', each maiden of both
on lots estate chc.ll hove libcrt to bespeak the r)an she
lilles,albeit he refuses her to be his lawful uedded ui - re he shell
be mulcted for the SUM of one pound or less (O,thc tali:), as his
estate hICy be; with c;:ccf.tion that h, con mel.c. it arp, - ;or that he
is betrothed to another uonon, he then shall be free. fey
years later a lila, lay was cossed in France, anC in the 15th
century the custom was le_ - „alized in Genoa and Florence.
It is to this foul piece of le(islature that 17, ar, able to
trace the precedents for our tryinL days of this, the ' - ear
dq.D. It is not inouLh that Ile must continually bear the careen
of Ilecm's acceptance of feminim: Luidancc(as e Flun , arien sad:: put
it: h ilda , m etc the apple and our teeth oche from it,') but must
be further ueiLhted ki medieval moronity uhich has evolved to a
modern coceptance of devices amore fearsome than anL , 'othic tor
ture chamber has ever housed. Gross injustice: What hop..: lies
ahead for our belcaL,urQd
TI - IL I Li\.± Yom'. 3