faGIaCRES COLLEGIAN
HOW TO PARK YOUR CAR AT THE TOP OF THE
HILL AND GET AWAY WITH IT
I would like to point out that this article
was written after extensive research,
including personal interviews and close
obsereation of the techniques involved°
Everyone is familiar, by-now, with parking
rules and regulations which govern the
msting place of automobiles within the
ter:itorial confines of HIGHACPESO It
is ,ommon knawliaidge, too, that any
student who, with careless abandon and
:reckless defiance, would ventiare to park
his ear somewhwre in the high altitudes
has little chance of escaping a yellow
tag which invites him to contribute two
butdcs to the "beer funth"
Fam the careful study which I mentioned
earlier, five distinct methods have been
disaavereds
A THE CAMOFLAGUE MET!O.
7pteran students should be good at this
port of thing s and nonveterans can catch
0 . ,.s quickly.
The car is brought to the top of the hill
aoar one of the school buildings) various
boards and trailing vines are strategic—
ally arranged to resemble an addition to
the building 0 A variation of this
idea— cut a crescent—shaped slot in the
car door and it will pass for ome of those
familiar rustic edifices:
B, THE OLD TICKET GAG.
If the car owner has already been tagged
once his future is assured, he needs
merely to keep the original yellow tag
and place it prominently under the
windshield wiper. This will keep away
new invitations to contribute to the
Safety Committee Fund.
C. LICENSE PLATE JUGGLING•
If YOU have a relative in No*th Dakota
or Pakistan, or can get some "foreign"
license plates, a few nuts and bolts will
solve the perking prOblem. Merely attaoh
these strange tags and paaciteud you are
a visiting politician— you will then
receive "political immunityou
D. MECHANICAL DIFFICULTY.
This one is not guaranteed, but a bi•
of acting ability can p u t i t over , ye:7
niely* If you happen to b e t agge d ;
as you surely will s yoU can explain
with a long face and worried look tha . k.
your starter is out of commission,
your battery worn down and you must
have that long run down the hill in
order to get it started,
E. LEGAL MEANS.
There are legal permits issued for
parking on the upper strata, and these
can be obtained for Bona—fide reasons,
For example, if one were to cut off
his left leg it would be assured that
you would receive a permit and never
have to worry about conniving or
scheming for this privilege.
Oi course, the Safety Committee will
read this article and thus render all
of this painfully collected advice
useless, but why not try it anyway—
What i s the matter- , you chiuken?
********* * * * * * * * * *
CONFUSION,.•
One day I was trying to write down a
recipe that was being given over the
radio. But no matter how I tried, I
kept getting two stations at once°
When I finished, this is what I hadi
"Hands on hips, place one cup of flour
on your shoulder, raise knees and mix
thoroughly in one half cup of milks
Repeate six times. Inhale quickly one
half teaspoon baking powder, lower legs
and mash two jiard boiled eggs. Exhale ;
breathe naturally and pour into bowl,
Now lie flat on the floor, roll in the
whites of two eggs backward and forwarc
until it cones to a boil. In ten
minutes, remove from fire and rub wi
a towel. Breathe naturally ; dreM 10
warm rlannola and ae tvoi r ithtpmato
sour*
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A• 2.1.1 18' 1958