HIGHACRES COLLEGIAN
Free room and board every time I passed
through that town ) plus twenty thousand
dollars•
Then I got on my horse and dode for the
saloon. As I rode up, I heard a fight
starting in the saloon. I jlamped off my
h orse and started running for the entrances
but ;I slipped and fell in a mud puddle.
I scrambled to PY feet and immediately
fired the writer who put that blasted
mud piddle in the scenes
Nhen I walked through the door of the sal--
oon, I saw an old ::.an with gray hair facing
a yomng cowpoke, with his guns hanging low.
I junped in between them, and stared the
cowpoke straight in the eye. ,
He looked at I , :_e and said,"you're in the
way ; fella, move!"
I kept staring at him and said, "blister
if you want to go against that old man,
you'll have to go against rue first."
"All right," he said, "but let's make it
fair; put that shotgun downi"
I didn't want to ) but the director motion—
ed that I had to.
He looked tough, and was probably fast,
but I was confident* He might have been
fast, but I was the hero of the show, and
if he beat I,:e he'd get fired.
We watched each other for a while, then '1
he went for his gun. Shots rang out,
and that's when it happened. I couldn't
believe it. I was the hero. What
would my fans think. I►d been hit.
He beat me, As I fell to the floor,
I gasped, "I'm taking this to the union."
But I was finished and I knew it. I
was headed for that great big television
se'c, away up there, As I lay there, Jone
came in. She bent over me and I could
see the laaplight glistening off her
contact lenses,
"How did it happen?" I muttered, "I
chefAed the script before the show
started,"
"It was himik" she said.' "Ths writer,
the one you fired, He sneaked back in
and changed the script."
********** * * * * * * * * * *
SHIVER SINNERS
Greetings Group froL two who have
just barely recourred fro& the blast at
the last Friday night. That
was really a ball ) at least until they
closed the bar due to a certain person*
coLplaint. Too bad some of them had to
raise it.
Speaking of the dance, weld like to
inqUire as to the whereabouts of two
of the fans after the dance. How about
it ----- Rocky and Joni?
Some of the group are saying that A.M.
is interested in G.S., but is G.B.
interested in A.M.?
Congratulations to khe new mother. We
understand that Cadet Captain John
Bodnar wants to be looked up to by his
men as their mother and their god when
they are on the drill field during the
"happy-hour." Why don't they do him
one better- Since he has an obvious
Lothar cox plex (betterld see McKinstry
quick, Mr. Bodnar), why not call him
"MOTHER" all the tilie boys, not only
those two stingy hours a week.
We've been told that a certain J.O
was e pushed out of - the picture" last
Saturday by F.V. What's the ratter
FunzyAin t you photogenic?
Incidentally, for all those who go to
the Hazleton Public Library to meet ea
other- you may not know it, but the
"meeting place" is being closed for
renovations next week. Of course th±3
wit affect the children's depayt:en
so we won't have to worry about get, --,
material for term rapers, themes' o'r;-..7,
They certainly have some enlightening
books down therev
Dearly beloveds we are beaters of glad
tidings. Linda Lovely, who is now I.±
18 .PP RIL 1952