SPOTLIGHT by John. Jackson
(continued frcrn 10 6 1 i i h)
So I got out ; pulled the
mass of arms and legs in
tiac , general direction of
the joker who had sold me
this dirty old car, and ac
costed the sales=ane
"Havin' t-o - lble?" The
mall 3 s six gold teeth and
the ring in his nose glis
tened in the sun.
"No" Ty replied j "1. 3 m
a masochist and A. try t-
scc How many ways T can mu
tilate myself getting out
of my car. How do you get
the blasted thing moving?"
The salesman took the
knife out of his mouth and
said, "You gotta pull the
emergency_ brake off first,"
My equanimity renewed, I.
went back to the car, found
the brake and pul
led it off literally (so
that 3 s-what he meant) and
my maiden voyage had begun.
I drove along the
streets, pawing gas staticn
aft-:r gas station until
rr-: , -lized that the automobile
aeedecl some gas after all ;
(have you ever tried pushing .
a ear up Peach Street), paid
twenty-five cents and filled
it up again.
4 HiS FRIENDS
I was planning 0 , 1 hav
ing another wild weekend,
so I had to procure my sup
ply of oatmeal and kool-aid
(root 1 -ter was the flavor -
of-the-tmonth). I muscled
my vehicle in between two
Volkswagens, opened the
door, and in twenty minutes
had pulled myself out of
the car.
When I came back, two
mammoth Valiants had sand
wiched my poor little car.
I wanted to kick them but
remembered how sore my
right foot was from hanging
out the right front window.
I climbed into it (fifteen
minutes this time) and aimed
it homeward. I t h ad
started to rain and I found
out that my windshield wi
pers didn 3 t work; but It
didn 2 t matter, my left arm
hanging out the window did
a commendable job. Ones
sleeves get a little soiled
but it saves on the batbny.
I now pullee into the
driveway, got out in a re
cord thirteen minutes, took
the kool-aid out of the back
seat, the cookies out of the
trunk, and parked my vehicle
under the milkbox. Econt.P,B
"ctl o e.