To anyone who Wig ever owned a
ten-year old gas usurper of a car,
a• ; compact car should make the expenses
of driving more reasonable. So with
this in mind, I traded my old Pontiac
in on a newer Corrair and relished
the thought of gettint more than two
miles to a tank of gas.
As I meandered to the used car
lot to pick up Tay ticket to economy
I felt assured that act troubles were
over and that I would now, for the
fake of a little comfort s , be able
to traverse the countryside; free
of worry that the car wouldn't ran.
My pseudo-tester-of-the -road
coraplex was not undaunted - when the
'hood of ny ebarlot came all the vay
over my - ankles, and my six-four frame
endeavored to enter the ear. I
found, to Tay surprise, that Toy head
did not touch the roof, but my knees
and one can see sin-prisingl,y
veal berween bis legs if necessity
dictates it. Now to get the thing
moving. let's see--turn on can,
press accelelaLor, shift into drive,
and off I it ain't =vim', baby.
So I got out, pulled the mass of arms
and legs In the gereral direction of
the joker who had sold me this dirty
old car, and accosted the salesman.
►
"Ravin' trouble?" The nients
sic gold teeth and the ring in his
nose glistened in the sun.
"goy', I replied, "I'm a
and I try to see how . 711812 y
^ • - I can mutilate myself getting out
ef a ear- How do you get the blasted
g moving?"
The salesman took it the knife out
- Bae lc i ß Ve - Igng la gzlaknif Tit P.-Se
SPOTLIGHT My equanimity renewed, I went back to
by John Jackson the car, found the emergency brake
(so thatts what meant), pulled it
off literally), and my maiden voyage
had begun.
I drove along the streets,
passing gas station after gas station
until I realized that the auto needed
some gas after all (Have you ever
tried pushing a car up Peach Street),
paid twenty-five tents and filled it
up again.
I was plarml7‘g on having another
wild weekend, so I bad to procure
my supply of oatmeal and kool-aid
root beer was the flavor-of- the-month)
I muscled nor vehicle in between two
Vollawagons„ opened the door, and in
twenty minutes I had pulled morself
out of the car.
When I came back, two mammoth Valiants
bad sandwiched my poor little car; I
wanted to kick them but I remembered
how sore my right foot was from bang
ing out the right front window. I
climbed into it (fifteen minuted this
time) and aimed it homeward. It had
started to rain and I found out that my
windshield wipers didn't work;
but it didn't matter, my left arm
hanging out the window did a commendable
job. One's sleeves get a lettle soiled
but it saves on the battery.
I now pulled into the driveway, got
out in a record thirteen minutes, took
the kool-aid out of the back seat, the
cookies out of the trunk, and parked my
vehicle under the =Elkhorn. I then
went into the house, and found that
while Ives out Corvairing, my seven-year
old brother bad gotten the exact same
car in the bottom of a box of Cracker jack