Tuesday, January 17, 1961
Upon a moonless, starless night,
Two lights along a rutted road
Came into view and neared a gate;
Behind the lights two soldiers rode.
One in, one out, the change is made.
The gate is locked. The two lights fade.
The post, enclosed in a barbed stockade,
Is left secure in the snailish gait
Of one lone man. Carbine shouldered, clip
In place, he scans the length of snow
He'll walk and with a sigh starts out.
The path, boot-worn, can barely be
Discerned, the fog so dominates.
The guard walks on, and recreates
The scenes that and filled his past.
The things he's liked, the things he's learned,
Unstore to bring relief at last
To. thoughts of home and happiness,
To thoughts of weary, icy feet:
Aloud he speaks the poems he knows.
Aloud he sings his repertoire.
Though cautious, lest his idle "shows"
By some passing personage be heard.
Then when song exhausts and not a word
Resounds, the problems that exist
Throughout the world, both near and far, -
He views and whisperingly solves
As on he walks, while time goes by ... till
His eyes, through heavy lids, keep watch
On gate and road beyond to catch
Headlights cutting through the foggy patch
Between his post and vital sleep ...
They shine ... in, out ... the two lights fade
Ask
If You
My Opinion
By JOE BENNETT
In view of the present diplomatic
crisis in Cuba, the Cub inquired of
a number of Behrend students
what their opinions were concern
ing the situation and got the fol
lowing answers:
Rick Reynolds—l think it will be
another Korea.
Jim Slater—Looks like we'll be
finding summer jobs down there.
Mr. Gallagher—l think breaking
ofd relations with them was the
right move in order to save our
prestige.
Mike Mulligan—l feel that condi
tions in Laos are much more
serious than those in Cuba.
Dick Merriman—Castro can't last
much longer. He'll either be
forced to leave office or be
assassinated.
Jill Freese—Castro no; Yanquis si.
Fred Hetzel—Eventually we'll
probably be forced to go to war.
Bruce Clark—lt might be a good
idea to have Castro assassinated.
John Reeder—l believe we should
drown Cuba with foreign aid so
that they become rich and soft
and decadent.
Art Winschell—The Gillette com
pany ought to start an advertis-
Guard
By GENE NUTTER
Merriman Predicts .. .
A certain student will be named
"Matchmaker of the Year" ...
Elliott Ness will raid a certain
night spot in New York ... A new
course called Pinochle II will be
offered next semester ... The Dorm
girls will get cookies from now
until June. These, however, will not
make -up for the dirty linen and
fantastic color schemes in the
dorm ... A certain sophomore girl
will soon be allowed to smoke at
home ... Midget binoculars will be
on sale in the bookstore - during
exam week . .. The Inaugural Ball
will be a farce ... City detectives
will enroll in night classes next
semester. They will take the new
Pinochle course ... Zoology stu
dents will have to buy snowshoes
for field trips next semester .
ing campaign there.
Mr. Hover—Considering the re
starictions the Cuban govern
ment tried to place on our diplo
matic corps, we had no choice but.
_ to sever relations with it.
Gene Meade—lt's apparent that
the "Moses of the Cane Fields"
is short on razor blades.
Gene Nutter---Should provide a
guillotine fund for the Cuban
peasants.
Mr. Thomas—Castro has proven
that he can fool ail the Cubans
all the time.
THE NITTANY CUB
Hail, The Heroes Will Return!
Much as college students detest to ridicule him when he rides his
the inevitable, most of them will, bicycle down the middle of the
nevertheless, be willingly or fore- street and yells at people driving
ibly members of our "peace-time cars. Keep cool if he purrs like a
Army." The Army that will no tomcat at the slightest mention of
doubt take them to far-away places alcohol or pours gravy on his des
like Bethel, Alaska; Juarez, Mex- sect and mixes peaches with Sea
ico ; Stuttgart, Germany; Columbia, gram's VO. Never blow a whistle
'South 'Carolina, and any number of near him as he may jump out the
eagerly-sought dung heaps in Ko- window for fear of being late for
rea. At any fate, they also will that formation. Humor him if he
have the honest-to-God excitement should, in his first week at home,
and apprehension of getting out, ask, "May I pick up my pass?",
and sending home a Notice of Re- "Where is the sign -out book?",
turn: and "Is there a curfew in town ?"
This document is issued in fair Above all, don't ask him if he ever
warning this sth day of March to did, or even tried, to save money
the friends, relatives and acquain- while in the service. This may put
Lances of PFC Fred Fredricks. him in a state of shock in which he
Very soon, the above-named soldier may blubber something about Sol
will once again be in your midst, dier's Deposits, Taxi Fares, Black
dehydrated and demoralized, to Market, Craps, Poker, Income Tax,
take his place once • again as a Binge, Red Cross, March of Dimes,
human being with the feeling of Community Chest Heart Fund,
freedom and justice for all, to en- Overseas Campaign Fund, State
gage in life, liberty, and the some- meat of Charges, KP Fund; inflated
what belated pursuit of happiness. beer prices and the cost of cigars
In making your joyous prepara- for promotion. It is very possible
tions to welcome him back into that all of these could apply to
society, you must make a few al- him.
lowances for the very crude en- After he is home for a few
vironment that has been his home weeks or until he becomes house
for the past 36 months. In other broken, you should be especially
words, he might be a little Euro- watchful of him when he is in the
pean, suffering from Kraut-itis, company of women, particularly
and must be handled with care. So, ones that are beautiful. His inten
show no alarm if he prefers to tions are sincere, though dishonor
wear leather pants and carries a able. Treat him with kindness and
briefcase full of hot dogs, old tolerance and occasionally a quart
bread, and beer. Don't be shocked of whiskey, and you will be able to
if he wells, "Wo is der Bahnhof, rehabilitate that which is now the
Schatzi ?" and drinks Steinhager holloW shell of the once proud man
from a musical beer stein. Refuse you knew.
I began having these dreams after my first big disappointment in
love. The girl ran off with a wealthy Marlboro salesman who played
for the Cleveland Browns in his spare time.
At first these dreams seemed rational enough. I was trying to find
out how many angels could dance on a pinhead, but I always tried to
cram too many angels on one pin and they didn't have room to dance.
Besides, they kept falling off. Unfortunately this tranquility was not
to last. My next dream found me chasing the Abominable Snowman
across the Himalayas. Seven dreams later I caught him and he asked
me if Eloise Stumpfagle's daughter was still driving a beer truck in
Bradford, Pennsylvania. Soon I was transported to the Congo with a
tattoo on my chest 'saying, "Recommended by Duncan Hines." I had
dinner with Patrice Lumumba, and he was delicious. In my next flight
of fancy, I was covered with grime from head to foot engaging in
mortal combat with Mr. Clean. I was a photographer for Playboy and
they made Elsa Maxwell Playmate of the Month. So I crawled inside
the little blue bottle and tried very hard not to fizz. I drove the speed
way at Indianapolis; roaring madly at some fantastic speed with fifty
odd cars behind me: Then, surging with ungodlly power, we all smashed
into the invisible Gardol shield and all that survived was my Timex.
Hoping to end my haunted nights, I took the problem to an analyst.
He was a quaint old Austrian who had studied under Freud for ten
years, attempting to finish a two-year course. I asked him how I could
end 'the nightly fantasies and with all his eighty-odd years of, wisdom
he said he did not know. He was a sweet old man who charged me
thirty-five dollars and kissed me goodbye. So, overwrought with despair,
I left his office, walked into the street and met my future wife ascending
from a manhole with a pipe wrench in her teeth. 'She was to be the
turning point: the last nightmare for the rest of my life.
Dreams
By JOHN REEDER