Os famitg eitth. GOSPEL FEAST. Lo, the Feast is spread to-day 1 Jesus summons, Come away! From the vanity of life, From the sounds of mirth and strife, To the Feast by Jesus given. Come and taste the Bread of Heaven Why, with proud excuse and vain, Spurn His mercy once again? From amidst life's social ties, From the farm and merchandise, Come, for all is now prepared ; Freely given, be freely shared. Blessed are the lips that taste Our Redeemer's marriage least; Blessed who on Him shall feed, Bread of Life, and drink indeed. Blessed for their thirst is o'er, They shall never hunger more. Make, then, once again your choice, Hear to-day His calling voice; Servants, do your Master's will; Bidden guests, His table fill; Come before His wrath shall swear: Ye shall never enter there. ' 'Dr. Alford, Dean of Canterbury LFrom Guthrie's Sunday Magazine.] LITTLE CREASES. " My name's Bessie—ye called me so yerself. Some calls me Little . Creases,an'some jist Creases —'cos I sells 'em. Yes, Bessie, I s'spose, is my Christ'n name. I dori't know as I've got another name. Granny 'as ' Marther's 'er Christian name, an' sometimes folks calls 'er Missis Jude—some times they calls 'er Hold Winegar, but that ain't horfen. No, sir, they don't call 'er. that to 'er face. Granny 'nd give it' back to 'em if they did, an' they ain't a bad lot—not them as we lives with. No, I can't remember when I fust come to live with Granny—'oW could I? I was jist a baby, Granny says. Oh, Granny does whatever she can—she ain't a lie-a-bed. Some times she goes hout cheerio' now, but she ain't strong enough for that, ay' the work an' what she gits to drink makes her precious cross when she comes 'ome. Yes, 1 love Granny, though she do take hall I arns.-=-She's a right to, I s'pose. She says so, anyways, 'cos she took me when father and mother did, an' father 'ad vexed 'or. No, I can't remember nun o' them —and I don't see as it matters much. There's kids in the Rents as 'as got fathers an' mothers as is wuss hoff than me. Well, j s'pose, when I grows up, I can spend what I gits according' to my own mind. But I 'on% forgit Granny. She may growl, but she never whopped me—an' some on 'em does get whopped. Yes, sir, I knows I ought to be thankful to Granny for takin' care on me afore I could git my hown livin'—didn't I say so ? No, I can't read, an' I can't write. I never went to school. What's the good o' to folks like me as 'as to am their livin'? I know 'ow •much I oughter give a 'and for my creases, an' then 'ow to split 'em up inter' bunches, an' Pal pickin' up the prices o' hatter thing at the markets, an' that's ball a gall like me need know. Readin' an' writin' may be hall wery well for little gals as can't 'elp theirselves, but I don't see as it would be hany 'elp to me. Yes, I likes to look at picturs sometimes in the shops, but - I can make out what they mesas— them as I cares about—wi'out 'readin'. Where does I git my creases? Why, at the markit. Where else should I git 'em ? Yes, it is cold gittin' up in the dark,' an' the creases feels shi-' very when you git a harmful, when the gas is a burnin'. But what's the good-o' growlin'when' you've got to do it? An' the women as sells 'em is horfen kinder in the winter, though they looks half perished theirselves, tuckin' their 'ands un der their harms, wi' the frost on 'em. One of 'em last winter gav me a fair market-'and when I 'adn't .got no stock-money, an' the broWns . td git a cup o' cawfee an' a bread-and-batter. Golly, that did do me good, for it was hawful cold, An' no mjetake.. If it 'adn't been for the pain in 'em, my toes an' fingers seemed jist as if they didn't °belong to me. But it's good fun this time o' year. Weave our larks when we're a-pumpin' on the creases, an' settin on the steps tyin"em up. Rushes we ties 'em With. No, we aavo'cto pay fOr the rushes—they're gived us by them as sells the creases. Yes, I think lave seed rushes a-growin'—in' Ackney Marshes—but there wasn't much in that, as I could see. I'd rather .be where there was houses, if that's country. It's sloppier than the streets is. No, I don't go to church. Granny says that she used- to go, but they never give her nuffink, so she dropped it. 'Sides, Sunday's when I sells most. Forks likes a relish a-Sundays for . the breakfastes an' teases; an' when - I ain't a Valkin' about, I likes to'g - dt snooze. 'Sides, I haiu't no clothes fit to. go to church in. No, an' I don't go to theaytres an' that, nayther—l sh'd like to if I'd got the browns. I've 'eared say that it's as fine as the Queen a-hopenin' Parli'ment-th . e Forty Thieves at the Pawilion is. Yes, I've seed the Queen once. I was in the Park when she come along wi' them fine genlemen on 'ossback a-bangle' away at the drums an' the; 14'spose them was the Parli% meet. I never was so far afore, an' I ain't been since, an' I was wery tired, but I squeeged in among the folks. Some of 'em was swells, an' some on 'em was sich as me, an' some on em was sich as shopkeepers. One hold fellow says to me, says he, ' What do yea want 'ere, my little gal ?' 4 1 want to see the Queen, an' Prince Halbert ; an' the Parli'ment gentlemen,' says 1. ' I'm a -Parliament gen'lemany says he, but I ain't down to-day.' I worn't a goin' to let aim think he could do me like that, for he worn't dressed nigh so smart as Wilson a-Sundays. You're Chaffin'; says I; Why hain't , you got.ae 'oss, an' a goold coat, an' summat to blow ?' Then he busted out larfin' fit to kill 'isself; and says he, Oh, you should 'ear me in Parli'ment a-blowin' my own trumpet, an' see me a ridin' the 'igh 'oss there.' I. think ..he was 'alt'silly, but he was very good cratured:—silly folks horfen is. He lifted me hop right over the people's 'cads, an' I see the Queen wi' my own heys,,as plain as I see yen,' sir, an' ' , Prince Halbert, too, a-bowin' away like those, images in the grocers' winders. I thought it was hurtcommon queer to see the Queensi-lbowin'. I'd 'speeted that, all on us would a 'ad to bob down as if we was playin' THE AMERICAN PRESBYTERIAN, THURSDAY, OCTOBER 14, 1869. 'honey-pots when she come by. But, law, there she was a-bowin' away to heverybody, an' so was Prince Halbert. I knew from the picturs, though he didn't seem 'arf so smart as the gen'lemen that druv the 'oases. What a nice lookin' gen'leman, though, that Prince Halbert is ! I do believe that himage in the barber's window in Bishopsgate, with the goold sheet on, ain't 'arf as 'andsome. Wisher may die hif he didn't bow to me ! The queer old cove I was a settin' on, guy me 'is 'at to shake about like the other folks—law, 'ow they did shake their 'ats an' their 'ankerchers, and beller, as if the'd bust theirselves! An' Prince Halbert grinned at me ; an' then he guy the Queen a nudge, an' she grinned, an' . guy me a bow too, an' the folks all turned round to look at me, au' I felt as hif I was a swell. The hold cove was nu• common pleased, an' he guy me a 'arf granny said he was a real Parli'ment gen'leman arter all." " And what did you do with the money, Bes sie?" I asked. " Guy it to Granny." " But didn.'t you get any of it ? "Oh, yes, Granny 'd a blow out o', trotters, an' she guy me one, an' huncommon good it were." A little girl who had sold water tresses for two years, with no more memorable treat than a trotter, could not be injured, I thought,.by a little indulgence. If I confirmed Bessie in her Opinion that, in the complimentary,,,wqr4 she had already used in refe'renee to nie, wasn't "Bich a bad sort, arter all," I might be able to " get hold" of her, 'and eventually do more'gOod than giving her a little passing pleasure. Still I Was at a loss how to carry out my 'plan of giv- . ing her a day's treat; so I asked her to choose herentertainment for herself. Well," she answered promptly, "I should like to 'ave some more to heat binieby ;" and then, after a minute's pause, " an' '1 should like to go up the Moniment I've horfen seed the folks at the top like rats in a cage, an' I should like to 'ave a look down through theni railin's too." /Little. Creases' costume, although it attracted little attention to herself, was likely to make a clerical companion stared at, even in London's crowded streets, where men brush past each other never heeding—frowning and laughing, and even talking, as if they were in a dark, dou ble-locked room alone, instead of publishing their secrets of character, at any rate, in broad noon, to the one in ten thousand who may, have leisure or inclination to notice them. I thought, however, that it would a bad beginning with Bessie, if I wished to secure her confidence, to seem to the ashamed of-her clothes. So I got my hat, and proposed that we should start at once. When I took hold of her hand outside the front door, I could see that she thought that in my case, as in that of her parliamentary friend in the Mall, wit was not-equal to good-will. We were chaffed a little as we walked along. A police man asked me if I wished to give the little girl in charge, and when I answered that the little girl was taking a walk with me, looked more than half-inclined -to take me into custody my self. " Qh, he's adoin' the good old Samaritan dodge in public, Bobby," explained a sneering. on-looker; " lettin' his light shine afore men. He don't mean no more mischief than that. I know the ways'of them parsons. They'd be pre cious deep, if they knew how ?" I must confess that the gloss upon my behaviour did annoy me, because- felt that I had laid myself, open to .it. But is it not a satire on our Christianity that'-we should think it " very odd" to see a person, in whole clothes talking to one in rags, unless the contitiuously clad person be either - bullying or benefiting tlie intermittently clad' from the top of a high cliff of universally admitted social su periority ? I ,do not know who takes the money at the Monument now. At the time of which I write the money-taker was a very morose 'old fellow, who, seemed to regret that the gallery had been caged in. " You„ can't fling her oVer," lie growled, as we began to mount the weary, wind ing stairs. "Did you hear what he said, Bessiel' I asked, with a laugh. ''"'Oh,. yes I 'eared 'im;" Litle. greases an swered gravely; "but I ain't afeared.' I'd strata' so as ye couldn't, if ye• wanted to, an' it ain't sich as you does thins to git put the pa pers. It's chaps as can fight doeS them kind .o' thins." For a wonder, the day. being so fine, we had the gallery at first. to ourselves. "lhat's a bus ter," said Bessie, as she mounted the lagt step, " I'll 'ave a blow now. Law, 'ow my legs do ache, an' I feel dizzy like I shouldn't ha' been 'arf so tired if I'd been a-goin' my round" Aneljet you wanted to come up, Bessie?" Well, ,I know I did—helse Lshouldn't ha' come. , Bessie was more of when I explained to' her the meaning of the " goold colly-flower," as she called. the gilt, finial; but she was very much disappointed when she was told that the Great Fire after all 'had hot been caused by Ro man Catholics. " They'd 'a done it, 'if they could, thdugh," she commentated. " I can't abide them wild' Iliridlathey's so savage, an' they's -so silly. There's Blue Anchor Court, close by the Tents, as is full o' Romans, an' they's. always a-pitchen' inter each hother wi'out knowin" what's it all about. Law,' ow they do 'send the tongsed an' pokers flyin'of a Saturday night! An' the women.4,4truss than the men,• wi' their back hair a-'lingin down like a 'oss's tail. They'll tear. the {,, , oWnd hoff a woman's back, and shy bricks, an' a dozen on 'em will go in at one, hif a-fightin' wi' their pal, an' is a lickin' on 'nu, or heven.hif 'e ain't—an' the men's as bad for that. Yes', the Henglish fights, but they fight proper, two and • two, an' they knows what they'sfightin' for, an"they doesn't screech, like• them wild Hirish--they's wuss than the cats. No ' it ain't horfen as Elfish-linter feres wi' the Henglish hif the Hengliai i dOesn't worret ''em. , Why should they .? What dell 'as sich as them 'to come hover 'ere to take the breed 'hour o' 'the mouth of them as 'as a right to 't ? Bessie's I.lpereilioUsly uneharitable comments on Irish character were suddenly interrupted by an, expression of surprise at the number of churches she saw risin around her through the sun:gilt . ,grey `smo kes, The".sensation of seeing a stale sight from a novel stand- point seemed to give her more pleasurable ex citement than anything she had yet experienced on this to her eventful day. Instead of leaving her to enjoy her treat, and the new experience to teach, on however small a scale, its own lesson, I foolishly again attempted to moralize. Yes, Bessie," I said, " things and people, too, look very differently according to the way they are looked at. You have been taught to hate the Irish, but if you could see them as some people see them, perhaps you would like them—if you could see them as God sees thein—Tioni a 'higher place than the Monument, you would love them." " Granny says they's nasty beasts," was Bes sie's sullen answer. "Yes, Granny has been taught to call them so, just as she teaches you; but if Granny, too, would look at them differently she would speak of them differently." "I don't see as Ilirish is much worth lookin' at any 'ow." " Well, but Bessie, you said the churches, and the shops, and so on, that you've- seen all your life, looked different up.here !' , "They don't look a bit nicer," Bessie an swered sharply, having at last got . a dim glimpse of my ._meaning.: " I'd rayther see the shop windows than them nasty chimbly pots ;" and, fairly floored, I . once more desisted from my very lame attempt at.teaching, by analogy. "Now the river do, look nice," Bessie went on in.t , 4mph, as if pursuing her argument "But ~law,, what mites o' ttclilx the bridges-'looks 114 'ere ! lIIy I hif that ain't w?steathetoi! there's' a sojer hin it, I can see 'is redcnat, It-look jist , . . ... ... like a fly a puffin about in a sarcer. Look at them beiges, sir, wi' the brown sails, - ain't-that 'nice? IT.if I ivorn't a gal, I'd go in ,a:-barge : Law, what jolly lEirks'you iniglit 'eve on ilia 'ere moniment, watchin' the folks without their knowin on it. If they was to put a slop !ere, ic , could see 'em 'a pricr„, ,, 4 in', but then conlikii't git down tinif enough to na il 'em." ~. ,•-. " But God can always see us,kßeiriiie r andielbl: us, too, when we. do wrong." -.. .. " Then why don't Ile ? . What's 1.4. 1 .,,n0d o'. the pollis ? P'r'aps, though, God doiet,' liCe. to' see the bobbies a.drivin' poor folk Ai:mt. Oratmy says they're hawful 'ard 'on poor folk?' ''.. ' " I had again been unfortunate— . Of l co.F.se r iS would have been easy to answer poor little Bessie ,with satisfaction to -m self; but as I felt that 'it' would only be with s tisfaction to- myself, I was the more diSsatisfied that in my 'prentice at tempts to sow, faith ,in divine government, I should halve' generated doubts. As the best thing I •could do uncle- the circumstances, I tried to remove Bessie's prejudice against the police as a body, although , I was disagreeably con- 1 seious that,, owing 4 my clumsiness, I had mixed up the " statimf'us" and Providence in a very bewildering fashion in my little hearer's mind. " Are- the police rd to you, Bessie ?" I asked. "Some on 'em " Well, Bessie, it w, 'lodges at Mr. Wilson' who told me where to find you. He spoke Its kindly about you. If it hadn't been for you wouldn't have had your fun up here." 1 " I never_ said anyaki6k spin " But.if one policeman is ° kind, why shouldn't others be ?" 4 " Pr'aps they Mat be, but there's a many as ain't." Bessie was a very obstinate little reasoner ; and when'l.Paiteil from her in. Monument Yard, I could not help contrasting with bitter humilia tion t'he easiness o' calling and fancying one's self a Christian tea, her of Christianity, and the difficulty of acquittal* one's self as such. I will only add here in reference, to her, that I - walked houle to my lodgings !puzzling ,over those words, of the child-loved Loier of children, '.For of such is 'the -kingdom of hemien!! Th,ere,seemed somehow an incongruity between them an the preciOusly shrewd,'and yet lamentably ignnrant,,little Bessie; and yet I felt that the. poo,,ilittle -Londoner must be as dear to. Jesus_ as any Judean boy or,girl He ever 'blessed._, A MINSTER ROBBED. ."Yotfr purse, Sir," was the challenge, en !creed by pointing a loaded and cocked navy revolver over the• buggy dasher, at one of our Western Pennsylvania ministers, who was nearing the foot of the mountain. He was on his Way 4,9 a late special meeting of his Classis. lie.: had already made many weary miles over mountain roads, and his horse was somewhat jaded. At the very first call'of the'lithwayman, the horde had come to'a fulrlialt. That was to put an end to any hope, of ,escape. "St - Opl' 'was t the first word said by the robber, emerging from the wayside into the road, before the astonished, tired and niedi tatiog, minister. Masked with a handkerchief, having two holeS cut in it for the eyes, with out a hat and rather genteel in dress, the villain advanced.in the road towards the buggy. Astonisbed at first, and taken all aback, before the parson could comprehend the situation,liis good horse had obeyed the command " stop." Coming:forWard the assailant laid his left hand on the line, and in his right he held an ugly looking pistol, with muzzle pointed over the duskier, at the minister's breast. No wonder he was rather surprised.to find that the fellow's thratening attitude and re peated call,was a, wally in full earnest, as a challimge for " Your purse, Sir." Till then, it had net seemed to -him possible, that i n caw late date ,of this glorious enlightened nineteenth cntury, after the free school system, which:some claim as a panacea for all moral evils, had been in , operation in our country for at least a generation ;' till then, he conld=nOtTrealizce that the occupation of robbing, men would be carried on in broad daylight; on' our public highways. Time was, indeed; when such trade w,as followed; whin on this very road, lonely re turning drovers or Eastward hound mer chants, with sa4dle-bags well filled, were waylaicl„ hurled from their horses, and it need be robbed. any -was the. old tale, of this kind of thing, done on the Chestnut Ridge; the Laurel 'Mountains, or the Alleghenies. But for litany years noth- iry," she answered. s Sergeant Hatfield, that ing of the sort had been known; and it was hard sometimes to get full credence for these old time tales of horror and blood. When, therefore, our good brother, Rev. G. H. Johnston, of Somerset, Pa., recently found himself stopped on the old turnpike, a few miles East of Ligonier, the robber in answer to all expostulations, only demand ing with repeated emphasis, " Your purse, Sir," he must have thought, if he had time to think at all, that " history does repeat itself:" Finding that nothing less than the purse would satisfy the horse-leech, he made up his mind to yield to the force of the ar gument, and nonresistantly to give in. True, his purse 'was not a very fat one. To some rich, old-time merchants, going for goods, or returning drovers who had just sold out, the'amount which the fellow got would not have been much. But, however little there is in a poor minister's purse, it is generally his all; and its loss is a serious matter to himself, and no trifle to his wife and child ren. Whether brother Johnston's will here after suffer, we cannot just now say. At all events, he was hardly a cheerful giver, as he put his hand into his pocket and deliver. ed into the hand of the rascally robber -the demanded, purse. Misfortunes seldom come alone.. And now it so happened, . that in reaching into his pocket for tke purse, he exposed to the rob ber's eye a'g'old watch chain ' hanging from his , vest poeliet. Inste,ad of being satisfied 'with the , littic finger which had already been he enlarged his covetous request, and now wanted the whole hand. "I'll take that watch, too, Sir," said the complacenytThighwayman The pointed ar gum'ent di the drawn pistol cocked, within a,few feet of his breast, and in hands that could .r . iot be trusted, was too much to be rdsisted.. So the watch had to accompany tlie`pcirliii. However reluctantly given, it wasnputlnto the robber's left hand. " Now you can move on, Sir," said the _robber. And stepping backwards, with the inalidT looking shooter still pointed towardb is . yietim, he motioned him forward. Hav ing had this interesting rest in the way, it -did ot need much persuasion or urging to increase the distance between him and his 'hew found acquaintance. The horse, too, scented to feel that he had stopped too readily, and now made good time down the road. With lighter pockets and a heavier , heart the robbed minister went on his way,' till he met sympathizing brethren.--Ite formed Church Messenger. BEAUTIFUL HANDS. Such beautiful, beautiful hands I They're neither white nof.small, And you I know, would scarcely think That they were fair at all. I've looked ou _hands whose form and hue A ! sculptor's. dream might be, Yet are these-aged,-wrinkled hands More beautiful to me. 'Such beautiful, beautiful hands ! Though heart were weary and sad,, These patient hands kept toiling on That children might be glad. I almost weep, as looking back • To childhood's distant day, I think how these }iamb rested •not, When Mine were at their play. Such beautiful, beautiful bands ! ,They're growing feeble now ; For time and pain have left their work On hand, and heart, and brow. Alas ! alas ! the nearing lime, And the sad, sad day to me, When •ineath the daisies, out of sight, These hands will folded be. But oh 1 beyond this shadowy damp, Where all is bright and fair, I know full well these dear old hands Will palms of victory bear. Where crystal streams, through endless }ears, • 'Flow dyer golden sands, And where the old grow young again I'll clasp my mother's hands. „ BUDGET OF ANECDOTES. —The New York Commercial thinks that was a " sensible society," in England, that sent fifteen tons Of tracts to Chicago. --ek Christian mother was °Dee , showing her little girl, about fiveyears old, a picture represent inc, Jesus holding an infant in His arms, while the mothers were crowding their children , toward Him. " There, Carrie," said her mother, " that is what I would have done with you if I had been there." "'I wouldn't' be pushed to Jesus," said little Carrie, with beautiful and touching earnestness; "I'd go to him without pushing." —On Saturday afternoon, a little four-year old was standini , on the sidewalk in Syracuse, with a piece of smoked glass in 'her hand, and a black spot on the tip of hernose. An acquaintance, passing by, asked the little one, " What is the mat ter with the sun ?" The juvenile astronomer re plied, without a momen't's. hesttation, " There's a piece broke.o.ut of ft?* .--TriIISTING IN PROVIDENCE.—Gen. Lee's contrabands met on =the street after old master and missus had run off, the folloxiing dialocrue' ensued " Well, Saint)°, does yer fink de nigger can shiff for deinselves, an'. de Lor' will take care ob us ?" Sambo.-93resi you, Sam, de Lor' don't mind de 'nigger, uo how.'? Sam.—" But don't de good book say de Lor' take care ob de sparrow, what/?s, only worf a far thing- 6 S'ambo.—" Yes, I guess it do; but-7 Sam.—" *ell, den, if de .good Master take care ob. sparrow what's only worf a farthing, guess He take care ob a.nigger.worf $1,200, sat tin." . Sambo.—"Dat's so, Sam; didn't tink ob dat scripture. Guess you'll - make.a good preacher. Copm„let's trabel on de strength , ob dat Vex" —When the gallant Sir Ralph, Abe,reconiibie was - mbrtally'wounded in Che battle Of Abbtkir, heavai'earrind 'in :a litter on board' the'" Fon droyant."- To ease his pain a soldier's blanket was placed under his head, from which h e r „, eeived great relief. He asked what it was •• It is only a soldier's blanket," was the answer. " Whose blanket is it ?" he asked, half liftin }M u . self up. " Only one of the men's." •• I wish t o know the name of the man whose blanket thi s is," insisted the dying commander. "It is Dan. can Roy's, of the Forty second, Sir Ralph,- an _ swered his attendant. " Then see that Dunca n Roy gets his blanket this very night," said the brave man, not forgetting even in his last agom es the welfare and comfort of another, however humble. • —A great rarity in the shape of coins has late. ly been sold at Paris, namely, a silver one struck off at Breslau in 1761. Among the person, ell ,. ployed at the time in the mint was an Austrian. who, out of hatred to Frederick 11. of Prussia, who had taken possession of Silesia by right of conquest, conceived the idea of revenging hi m _ self on that monarch in the following manner The motto on the coin, " Ein reichs thaler," ( 1 1 crown of the kingdom,) he had divided in suc h a manner as to make it read, " Ein reich er," (He stole a kingdom.) The king ordered these insulting coins to be all melted down, but some few of them still exist. —Rev. Dr. Chandler, of Greenfield, was is the habit of laboring much on his little farm, and was often dressed . quite plainly. A. stranger called_ one day to see him, and observing a per son, barefooted,-with pants rolled up at the bot tom, and seedy hat and clothes, at work ; in quired of him, if he could inform him where he could find Mr. Chandler: "I am Mr. Chand ler," was the reply. "I mean Rev. Mr. Chaul ler," said the stranger. "I am Rev. Mr. Chaud ler,"' was the answer. "But I mean Rev. Doctor Chandler," continued the stranger. " They are so foolish as to call me Rev. Dr. Chandler,' re plied the kind-hearted-old man.— Congr ego' 1 . (112- alist. —Soon after Dr. Chandler received his hon orary title, he was overtaken by a brother c'ergy man on their way to Association; who thus ac costed him. " Good morning, Doctor Chandler." Dr. C. turned round to see who had addressed him ; but made no reply. Soon after, the saluta tion was repeated with greater emphasis " Good morning, Docrow Chandler !" This time, the Doctor, turning round, and, in his peculiar way, said, •' Whom did you speak to 7" and drove on. —The London Nord, alluding to Prince Napo leon's projected visit to Dublin, gives the follow ing anecdote of his former visit to Ireland : "The mayor of an important town wishing to show off his learning, prepared beforehand .a discourse in French which he delivered in the presence of his highness. Judge of the mayor's astonishment and disappointment, when the prince replied to him, in excellent English,that he much regretted not knowing the Irish lan g uage, and was thus, to his deep regret, prevented from appreciating as he wished the flattering sentiments which, no doubt, the mayor had given expression to. The mayor, full of shame, and confusion, affirmed he would never again make a speech in French." —Two Irishmen, stopping at the Island House, Toledo, lit their gas, and, with windows open, sat down to enjoy a chat. The hungriest of the Toledo musquitoes soon flocked in and drove them desperate. The clerk, who was summoned to devise some defense against them, told them to close the windows and put out the gas. They acted on the suggestion, and placed themselves between the sheets. Just as they began to doze, a lightning-bug, which had strayed into the room, caught the eye of one of the travellers. He roused his companion with a punch: " Jamie, Jamie, its no use! Here's one of the cratuis sarchin' for us wid a lantern!" —" Is my face dirty'?" remarked a young lady to•her aunt, while seated at the dinner table on a steamer running from Cairo to New Orleans. " Dirty ! No. Why do you ask ?" "Because that insulting waiter insisted .upon putting a towel beside my plate. I've• thrown three under the table, and yet, every time he comes round, he puts another.one before me." —A story which does honor to Mr. Gladstone's goodness of heart, is found in an English ex change. A gentleman who is in'imately ac quainted with the Premier, and who could not possibly be mistaken, was walking through a street in the neighborhood of Holborn, and saw Mr. Gladstone talking to an old Irish woman at the door of her house. lle was considerably as tonished, at first, because he knew that the house was let out to poor Irish laborers, and he could not comprehend what object the premier could have in such a call. When Mr. Gladstone hail walked away, this gentleman crossed the street, and asked the woman if she knew with whom she had been talking. She , replied : " Shure I don't know; ; but he is a kind gentleman, and has been visiting a poor sick laborer, who lies in the back room." The narrator adds : " EverybOdy knows that Mrs. Gladstone takes a Most active interest in a charity for the relief of the destitute ; and. in all probability, Mr. Gladstone had undertaken a little sick visiting on her behalf." —The late Archibald' Constable, the well known. Edinburgh p9blisher, was somewhat re markable in his day for. the caustic severity of his speech, which, however, was only a thin cov ering to a most amiable, if somewhat overbearing disposition. On one occasion a partner of the London, publishing house of Longman, Hurst, Rees, Orme and BrOvin was dining with Mr. C. at CoUntry, seat; near the beautiful ° of L iasswade. Lookng out of the window, the Lo ndoner remarked, "What a pretty lake, and, wi.at beautiful swans !" "Lake, mon, and Swans'— it's nee a lake, it's only a pond ;, and they're ear thi)ilg but geese! You'll maybe noteCce.that there are just five of them . ; and BaldY, that ne'er-do weel bairn there, caws them lionginau, Hurst, Rees ; Orme and Brown'!" Sir Walter Scott, in telling the story, Was wont to add : That skit cost the crafty', many a guinea, for the cockney was deeply offended, as well he might he, not knowing the innocent intent with which his Scotch 'friend made such speeches."-:-IlitaTer's Magazine. —An old Scottish preacher is reported to have said, ; in one of: his sermons at Aberdeen :—" Ye people of Aberdeen get youriashions from Glas gow, and, Glasgow, from Edinburgh, and Edin bnrgh from London,, and London from Paris, and Paris from the Devil "