Entertainment
BY TOM KLEMICK
STAFF WRITER
GTKSOO2@PSU.EDU
On the day of her would be
engagement, 19-year-old Alice
Kingsley, the daughter of the late
and well known businessman,
Charles Kingsley, claimed that
she fell down a rabbit hole and
landed in a magical world she
calls Wonderland.
Alice and her mother were
visiting the Ascot estate for what
they thought was a friendly social
gathering. Unbeknownst to
Alice, it was actually a surprise
engagement party. When young
Hamish Ascot asked her for her
hand, Alice told him she needed
a moment to think about it and
quickly dashed from the party
much to the shock of numerous
family and friends gathered on
the lawn. For the next hour and
a half, Alice was nowhere to be
found.
These are the facts. What
happened next is still a mystery
and many conflicting theories
arose from guests present that
day. The Chattaway sisters
ril 1 2010
Alice
claimed she snuck off to meet
another male' suitor. Lady Ascot
said she fell asleep under an oak
tree. But the , story Alice told is
by far the most outrageous and
spellbinding of all.
"I saw a white rabbit, dressed
in an overcoat and carrying a
pocket watch, scurrying about
the property," said Alice. "I
know it sounds impossible, but
I sometimes imagine as many
as six impossible things before
breakfast."
Alice claims to have followed the
rabbit to a large hill overlooking
the Ascot mansion where it
disappeared down a large hole.
"I knelt down to peek inside
and slipped. I fell down that hole
for what seemed like an hour,"
she said. Once inside, she ate
a piece of cake that made her
grow enormously large in order
to retrieve a key from a tall glass
table. She then consumed a drink
that caused her to shrink in order to
unlock a door that a mouse could
barely fit through. On the other
side was the wondrous region that
she deemed Wonderland.
Alice initially thought she was
APITAL TIMES
in Wonderland
dreaming. "I remembered the
place. I used to dream of visiting
it when I was a little girl. I kept
expecting to wake up in my bed.
I even pinched myself. But I
never woke up," she said. She
described it as both colorful and
bleak (depending on your exact
location); a 3-D land full of
unique characters unlike anything
she had ever seen.
She recalled the aforementioned
rabbit, the contradictory twins:
Tweedledee and Tweedledum,
an always smiling, disappearing
Cheshire cat, a wise, pipe smoking
caterpillar named Absolem and
two sisters: the evil and selfish
Red Queen and the righteous
White Queen. But one man in
particular, the Mad Hatter, made
a lasting impression on the young
girl.
"I miss him the most," said
Alice. "He was a very kind and
misunderstood man. He was my
greatest friend in Wonderland.
And there's no one in the world
who could futterwacken (an
indescribable dance step) like
Hatter."
When asked about her final
exchange with the Hatter, Alice
recalled his' favorite riddle. "Do
you know why a raven is like a
writing desk?" After a long pause
she answered, saying, "I haven't
the slightest idea."
Finally, she recalled the most
fantastic and riveting part of her
journey. In an attempt to help
the inhabitants of Underland, as
the regions' citizens called it, end
the Red Queen's reign of terror
and restore the White Queen
to the throne, Alice had to face
the Jabberwocky, a dragon-like
creature commanded by the Red
Queen to crush any rebellion by
Underland's creatures. Reluctant
to do so at first, Alice said she
gained the courage to fight after
talking with Absolem.
"Absolem was no Ringer a
caterpillar," she said. "He was
in a cocoon and in the process
of great change. He made me
realize that my experience was
not a dream but a life-changing
event. I had been here before as a
child. I had returned for a reason.
It was time for me to become a
young woman." Alice faced her
fears and killed the Jabberwocky,
to courtesy
and restored the White Queen
to power. Having finished what
needed to be done, Alice said her
goodbyes to the friends she made
in the mysterious land and climbed
back out of the hole, returning to
the estate and the party.
Her story was met with
skepticism from the guests but
Alice was not discouraged. She
claimed hers was a personal
journey. When asked about
her rejection of Hamish, she
replied, "he's a nice boy. But
he doesn't make me happy and I
wouldn't make him happy. I have
too many other things to do."
Alice Kingsley's story is fantastic
and no evidence of her account
has surfaced as of yet. She was
last seen boarding one of Lord
Ascot's ships bound for China.
She bid farewell to her family
and friends and was last heard
conversing with a butterfly she
called Absolem. Is this the same
Absolem from her Wonderland?
No one knows for sure. Some say
that she is mad. But as her father
told her before he passed, "all the
best people are."
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