Capitol times. (Middletown, Pa.) 1982-2013, November 04, 2009, Image 11

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    ‘Twilight’ attractive and divisive
Most women have been conditioned to look at
By AUBREY CLARK the stereotypical tall, dark, and handsome man as
»their primary love interest. Chiseled features and
a toned physique are two common characteristics
ladies dream about when they think of the perfect
partner. In the past two years, females of all ages, shapes and sizes have begun to
require the opposite sex to be one thing: A guy who sparkles.
The “Twilight” phenomenon has created a whole new outlook for the vampires
people once feared. Vampires were formerly beasts who stalked the night, praying on
the blood of innocent victims, damned
to an eternal life sentence that boasted
fear and mystery. Now, vampires are
beautiful and passionate, have the
ability to sparkle in the sun as opposed
to evaporating and can fall in love with
humans instead of feasting on them.
No longer do the “cold ones” have to
worry about falling victim to Buffy the
Vampire Slayer or never successfully
forming a healthy, romantic relationship
with their food,
“Twihards” are the “Twilight” saga’s
diehard fan base. Although the novels
and movie series are predominately
directed to young, teenage girls, the
“Twilight” sensation has reached
females of all ages. Elizabeth Swope, a
successful 54-year-old lobbyist, cannot
seem to get enough of the “Twi” line.
“I absolutely love the books!” she
exclaimed. “I can’t wait for the next
movie to come out! I already have
my tickets!” On November 20th, fans
everywhere will finally see the second
cinematic experience of the four-part
sequence. The “New Moon” movie has
been highly anticipated since the release
of the first “Twilight” film last year.
But what is the big deal and huge
appeal for this hot concession? Sixteen
year-old Alex Pazich believes the main
character Edward’s “dreaminess” is
why she loves the fictitious franchise so
much. “He is so hot!” the high school
junior declared. “My boyfriend will
be just like him.” Not to burst her love
struck bubble, but her future companion
cannot possibly be a vampire. A girl can
dream, though, and girls all over the
world are dreaming of their very own
Edward.
The common addiction to the
movement stems from the “ideal”
relationship between the two main
characters; a plain-Jane girl, Bella, and
the ridiculously handsome vampire
who loves her more than he loves his
own afterlife. Tara Bencovic, a 33-
year-old mother of two, appreciates the
underlying idea the novels bring up, that a girl does not have to be a supermodel to
find the perfect man. “I really liked the books not only because it is easy to picture
and dream about the perfect love filled relationship, but because it gives young girls a
positive outlook on the ‘girl next door’ image and the chance to feel good about being
a normal person.” Bella’s character is clumsy and boring, but her quick wit creates a
challenge for the insanely handsome and suave Edward, who is not used to being turned
down. Bencovic’s thoughts definitely well reflect the author’s approach to the series:
creating two completely opposite characters that fall in love despite their differences in
appearance, lifestyle, background and, most importantly, diet.
“The best part is Edward Cullen and his family don’t drink human blood,” explains Kelly
Zeck, a 24-year-old Penn State Harrisburg student. “They have trained themselves to
only feast on animals so as not to kill actual people. They call themselves ‘vegetarians’
THE CAPITAL TIMES
as a joke because most vampires drink human blood.” Just because the Cullen clan does
not drink human blood does not mean they do not want to drink it. One of Bella’s strong
appeals to Edward is her “scent,” because it is nothing like anyone else’s. It is a good
thing Bella does not own a dog in the book/movie because she would have been dead
in the first two minutes.
Because of Bella’s powerful odor—the good kind, apparently—and the fact that Edward
cannot read her the way he can most humans, the two develop a romantic relationship
with a ridiculous amount of sexual tension. Edward and Bella are the new Romeo and
Juliet, and males everywhere could not be more sickened. “I cannot tell you how many
times my girlfriend told me she wished
I was a vampire,” gagged Cameron
Johnson, a 23-year-old college student.
“She always compares our relationship
to Edward and Bella’s relationship.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve
had to sit through that awful movie.”
Johnson also described how “lame” he
found the saga’s portrayal of vampires.
“The author could have at least made
them do something cooler than sparkle
in the sun. That ruined it for me.”
Maybe for Johnson the sparkling was
trite, but not for the millions of females
who run into the sun with their men and
wait for them to glitter and glisten.
Stephanie Meyer, the author of the
beloved books, is said to have based
the characters on a dream she had a few
years ago. Now that her dreams have
turned into reality, she is definitely the
money-maker in the Meyer household.
“Twilight” has ignited a craze for
women the way “Star Wars” was been
epic for men. From t-shirts to stickers,
fan sites to role-playing games, lip
gloss to candy, “Twilight” is a franchise
that is making millions upon millions
in revenue. With the exception of
Twihards, people flinch when the word
Twilight is uttered. Everyone knows
what “Twilight” is and what it has done
to the minds of women everywhere.
“I just can’t get enough of it,” 20-year
old Mackenzie Clark enumerated. “I
have a ‘Team Edward’ t-shirt, a poster,
and I belong to a fan site. I can’t wait
for ‘New Moon’ to come out!” Clark
cannot wait, and neither can girls all
over the globe. “New Moon” is based
on the friendship of Bella and Jacob,
Edward’s pseudo enemy, and their
budding relationship after Edward
disappears. Most Twihards are on
“Team Edward,” but quite a number of
people are on “Team Jacob” as well.
Jacob does not sparkle, but his pecs are
equally as rippled as Edward’s, and his
happens to be a werewolf and everyone
knows werewolves and vampires are sworn enemies. Both Jacob and Edward vie for
Bella’s affection, but since Edward is the main character, his love prevails. Jacob’s
heart does not stay broken, but any Twihard knows that. Bella and Jacob remain good
friends throughout the series, but let’s face it; no girl wants to end up with a hairy guy,
she wants a man who sparkles.
It is amazing how vampire creatures have evolved into incredibly good looking
“vegetarians” from their original demonic, life sucking ways. The unfortunate truth
that Twihards need to realize is that vampires do not exist and neither does “the perfect
man.” (Sorry, ladies!) Women cannot will their boyfriends or husbands into growing
fangs, drinking blood or glittering. The most a gal can do is buy some shimmer enhanced
lip gloss and give her man a few kisses. That is the only way a real man will be able to
sparkle, at least for a few seconds before he wipes the goop off of his face.
November 4,2009
gorgeous face is just as chisled. Jacob