entertainment
Coen brothers continue to please movie goers with
`Burn After Reading'
By JADRIAN KLINGER
STAFF WRITER
JJK.SOB9OPSU.EDU
Just ahead of Tarantino and
Rodriguez, the Coen brothers
stand as the finest postmodern
auteurs of our generation. The
writing and directing combination
of Joel and Ethan never fails to
please the enlightened moviegoer
who despises the Hollywood
formula of happy endings,
likable characters, stiff acting,
cliché direction and regurgitated
plots. A film by the Coen brothers
always provides safe harbor
in the vast cesspool of Disney
heart-warmers, Kate Hudson
and McConaughey romantic
comedies, product placement
filled blockbusters and any
shined up turd starring. Sarah
Jessica Parker and her giant face
mole. The Coen brothers' lastest
flick, "Burn After Reading," is no
exception.
"Burn After Reading" stars John
Malkovich, Frances McDonnand,
Tilda Swinton, Brad Pitt and
Geek Corner: Nintendo 'punches out' the competition
By JAMES COUCHE
STAFF WRITER
JTCSIOI@PSU.EDU
It is no secret that Nintendo's
E 3 2008 appearance was less
than stellar (the word "pointless"
comes to mind). It was so
disappointing that the company
apologized several times on
several continents. Now, as a way
of seeking redemption, they have
hosted a major press event to
show off games that people will
actually WANT to play (sorry Wii
Music, nobody cares about you).
Knowing that they had to blow
everyone away, the company
made some huge announcements,
including `Punch-Out!!!"Wii',
`Sin and Punishment 2', 'Mario
and Luigi 3', and a new version
of the DS. This was a far cry from
Wit Sports Resort and Animal
Crossing at E 3; now Nintendo's
George• Clooney. The combined
total Oscars wins between these
actors, actresses and the Coen
brothers equals seven. The
expectations run high for a
film featuring this kind of
hardware, but rest assured
that your $8.50 would be
well gpent. Granted, it is not
quite as great as "Miller's
Crossing," "Fargo," "The Big
Lebowski," "0 Brother Where
Art Thou?" or "No Country
for Old ' Men" but "Burn
After Reading" deserves your
attention,
Set in' Washington D.C,
McDonnind playi an aging
gym employee who wants,
more than anything, a
plastic surgery makeover.
Her makeover consists of
liposuction, rhinoplasty,
a facelift and breast
augmentation, which costs an
even $5O grand. Her fellow
employee at Hardbodies
Gym, played by Pitt, finds
mysterious disc in the locker room
containing assumed top-secret
"hardcore" audience has
something to get excited about.
`Punch-Out!!!' is a game that
Wii owners have been demanding
since the moment they brutally
beat down a George W. Bush Mii
in Wii Boxing. From the
look of early trailers,
many of the original
stock of characters
are back including
favorites Glass Joe
and King Hippo with
Little Mac returning
as the main character.
The game play seems
very reminiscent of the
original with a simple
fighting system built
on motion controls.
Hopefully, the punching
accuracy is higher than
Wii Boxing; and for
that matter, pick up a wireless
nunchuk to avoid whipping
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CIA intelligence. The two take
this discovery as , an opportunity
to blackmail the recently fired,
for drinking too much, CIA
agent played by Malkovich. It
yourself in the face with the cord
(the Wii is dangerous kids).
`Sin and Punishment 2' is a sequel
to the Nintendo 64's number one
import. For some reason (possibly
the N64's imminent death), the
Photo courtesy of arstechnica.com
The display screen of the DSi will be slightly larger
then that of the orginal DS.
game never managed to get a
stateside release despite being
turns out that the disc does not
contain top-secret information
but is a memoir written by
Malkovich's character, which
was stolen by his wife in
an attempt to gain financial
leverage in her clandestine
divorce plans. After getting
zero compensation from the
fired CIA agent, the Hardbodies
Gym duo deliver the disc to
the Russian Embassy in the
hopes of a score.
Meanwhile, the scheming
wife, played by Swinton, cheats
on the fired CIA agent with a
Treasury agent who is played
by Clooney. The Treasury
agent in turn cheats on his wife
with McDormand's character.
From there, the twisting
plot unfolds with the Coen
brothers' trademark brand of
violence and comedy.
The violence stems from the
many abrupt and gratuitously
graphic murders throughout
the film. The comedy comes from
Clooney's sarcastically over
acted character and the fact that
considered one of the system's
best games. If you like high
intensity shooting, laser sword
fighting, and giant boss battling
action, this game should be at the
top of your list next year. For a
taste of the original,
just check out the
virtual console to
find a localized,
prettier-than-the-
original version.
Probably the
biggest news of the
event is a new DS.
Nintendo walked up
to the old phrase "if
it ain't broke, don't
fix it" and punched
it in its face. The
new DS (called
the DSi) features
larger screens, two
cameras, an SD card port, and no
backwards compatibility. In place
Oct. 8 2008
Malkovich's character repeatedly
asks two rhetorical questions:
"The Rusiians?" and "What the
fuck?" The best laugh-out-loud
moment comes when Clooney's
character destroys a homemade
dildo machine in a fit of rage after
learning his wife is leaving him.
I refuse to spoil the ending, but
I will tell you that somebody gets
his or her breasts augmented.
If the prospect of hearing John
Malkovich rhetorically ask,
"what the fuck?" or seeing the
destruction of a dildo machine
on film doesn't interest you
then you probably enjoy Sarah
Jessica Parker movies, in which
case you are already dead inside.
Go see "Burn After Reading"
because it's good. If you don't
like good movies, then at least
go see it because a percentage of
each ticket sold helps in the fight
against Sarah Jessica Parker's
face mole, which grows larger
and more powerful everyday.
Don't be another Parker face
mole statistic. Get out there and
do your part.
of this missing function is the
possibility of a virtual console-like
service for the portable. The DSi
will be released in Japan before
the end of the year but Americans
(and presumably Europeans) will
have to wait until well into 2009
to get their hands on the updated
portable. The reason for this: DS
sales are so strong in the U.S.
that releasing it now would be
pointless (silly Americans, that's
what you get for buying their
products,).
With the new announcements,
Wii owners can finally breathe a
sigh of relief. There will be games
worth getting excited about in the
coming months that don't involve
cooking, pet grooming, or playing
Frisbee. It seems to be a good
time to brush the cobwebs off of
the system and get ready to start
playing your Wii again.