10 March 3, 2008 THE CAPITAL TIMES
By KRIS AUMILLER
Staff Reporter
KRASOIB@PSU.EDU
Last issue, I had possibly the
laziest performance I've ever
had. Therefore, I apologize
tremendously. However, I made
it up to you. I actually did my job
for this issue and went out to see
new movies and buy a new DVD.
And I did it just for you, my loyal
readers. It had nothing to do with
the threat two weeks ago of losing
my column if I didn't shape up.
JUMPER
Hayden Christensen, Samuel L.
Jackson: 1 hour 30 minutes
Before I even
get started, I
just want to say
that I didn't hate
the new Star
Wars movies.
Now that I lost
the diehards,
I like Hayden
Christensen
(Umm...l did just
say Star Wars).
I've heard a lot of
muttering that he
ruined Star Wars,
but he was set up
to fail. When you
are asked to play
one of the coolest
bad guys of all
time, you don't
turn it down.
Unfortunately for him, he had
unreasonable expectations from
super-freaks, but I digress. Bottom
line is that I saw a preview for this
movie in the fall and wanted to see
it right away. So, I went the second
night it was out.
David Rice (Christensen) is a
shy teenager who has a crush on
Millie (Rachel Bilson) who dreams
of traveling the world. When he
surprises her with a small gift, a
snow globe of the Eiffel Tower,
a bully grabs it and throws it
out onto the frozen river. David
ventures onto the ice and picks
it up before falling through the
ice and being swept away by the
current.
Ony
By MATTHEW SHORTALL
Copy Editor
MCSSOI3@PSU.EDU
Remember "How to Lose a Guy
in 10 Days"? Warner Bros. sure
hopes so; "Fool's Gold", starring
the adorable Kate Hudson and
renowned astrophysicist Matthew
McConaughey, shamelessly tries
to capitalize on the popularity of
the former film (which, by the
way, takes on an air of seriousness
comparable to "The Pianist" now)
by showcasing the chemistry
between its two stars. Besides this
chemistry, which is essentially
a non-factor due to the bizarrely
limited screen time shared between
the two, the film is a complete
disaster, packed with insipid
dialogue, ridiculous characters, and
a nonsensical plot.
The movie begins by introducing
the divergent lives of its two main
characters, Ben "Finn" Finnegan
(McConaughey), a professional
goofball and treasure hunter,
and Tess Finnegan, who, as
Mrs. Goofball, grew tired of her
husband's futile attempts searching
for lost oceanic treasure. As a
result, the two are separated - a
decision which has been hard on
Tess, as she frequently brags that
the sex was just top notch - forcing
Tess to make end's meet working
on the Precious Gem, a luxury
yacht owned by billionaire Nigel
Honeycutt (played by a bewildered
Donald Sutherland, who looks
All of the sudden, he is in the Ann
Arbor public library. He gets on a
bus and heads home, soaking wet,
where his father (Michael Rooker)
chews him out. David enters his
room, putting a chain on the door.
But when his dad knocks it down,
there is nothing there. David has
vanished. He finds himself in the
same aisle of the Ann Arbor library
and realizes he has teleported there
yet again. It dawns on him that he
finally has a way to change his life,
to escape his situation.
He teleports home and retrieves
a small stash of money and a few
belongings. But before he leaves
town, he stops outside Millie's
house. He throws a few rocks at
cheap room.
He practices
teleporting in
the park, learning how to control
his power. Then he checks out a
bank and robs it by teleporting
directly in to the vault in the
middle of the night. However, the
mysterious Roland (Samuel L.
Jackson, "Pulp Fiction"), claiming
to be from the NSA, appears at
the bank investigation remarkably
unsurprised by this locked door
robbery. It is evident that he knows
about teleport abilities and is part
of a powerful group that wants to
find this bank robber.
This movie falls into a category
that I'm sure everyone is familiar
with: "It wasn't that good, but I
liked it."
The special effects were good,
a fool would see "Gold"
as if he's been Punk'd), thus
leaving Finn to continue his quest
exploring the coastal floor with his
foreign pal Alfonz, played by Ewen
Bremner, who, if his accent is any
indication, seems to think that
Ukrainians sound like they speak
with gobs of mashed potatoes
stuffed in their mouths.
Though Finn and Alfonz
accidentally blow up their boat
(whoopsee-daisy!), they do
discover an antique plate adorned
with a mysterious family crest,
which leads the duo to believe
the window
to get her to
come outside
Millie steps
cautiously
out into the
yard and
finds the
snow globe
sitting on her
swing set.
From this
she knows
he is alive.
The next
day he is on
a bus to the
city, where
he rents a
Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson in the Warner Bros. film "Fool's Gold". The two
in "How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days".
02A
especially for something that hasn't
really ever been done before. I'm
sure they even sat around the table
and said, "How do we make guys
that can teleport fight?"
Christensen played his role very
well and it's always nice to see
Sam Jackson play a bad guy.
RATING:
3 out 5. I liked it, but it just wasn't
that good. Still worth seeing
though.
BE KIND REWIND
Jack Black, Mos Def. 1 hour, 41
minutes
Jack Black is somewhat of a hit
or miss actor for me. The guy is so
talented, (not only in acting, but
musically as well) but then he takes
a good joke one unnecessary step
too far. It's like he has an inner
monologue switch that doesn't turn
off and after one
joke it just isn't that
funny anymore.
Coincidentally, this
is the same problem
that I have with
Family Guy. Again,
I have a problem
with rambling.
Mike (Mos
Def, "The Italian
Job") is working
at a declining
VHS rental store
called Be Kind
Rewind in Passaic,
N.J. Mike's best
friend Jerry (Jack
Black, "Saving
Silverman") lives
in a trailer and
accompanies Mike
while he works at
the video store. Mike is fascinated
by the story that Fats Waller, a
legendary jazz musician, was born
in the very store. Mr. Fletcher
(Danny Glover, "Lethal Weapon")
is informed by Passaic town
officials that his store is scheduled
to be demolished and replaced with
a brand new building complex,
unless he can raise funds to
renovate his building. Mr. Fletcher
goes out on trip to get ideas on how
that they are hot on the trail of
the famous 18'h century Queens
Dowry (yes, that dowry!), a
relative smorgasbord of gold and
jewels lost in 1715. The two make
it to shore on a nearby island,
which is owned by the ridiculous
Bigg Bunny, an infamous rapper
who is impotent in his villainy.
Bigg Bunny, after listening to
Finn explain the importance of
the discovery, orders his goons
to execute the poor tanned hick,
presumably so he can take the
treasure all for himself. Instead of
stabbing him, strangling him, or
to increase business by spying on
a successful chain of DVD rental
stores. On the way to his train, he
puts Mike in charge of Be Kind
Rewind while he is away with one
simple instruction: "Keep Jerry
Out."
Jerry asks Mike to join him
in sabotaging the powerplant
he hates, which he believes is
trying to melt his brain. Mike
reluctantly agrees to help, but
eventually leaves a pleading Jerry
to sabotage the plant alone. Jerry
is electrocuted, causing him to
become magnetized. The next
day, when Jerry goes to Be Kind
Rewind to confront Mike for
leaving him, his magnetized body
erases all the tapes in the store.
The store's only loyal customer,
Miss Falewicz (Mia Farrow),
comes to rent "Ghostbusters."
Fearing that he will lose Mr.
Fletcher's trust, Mike suddenly
comes up with the idea to
completely remake the movie with
him and Jerry as the stars saying
that Miss Falewicz is so old that
she won't know the difference.
The two friends create the 20
minute remake using an old VHS
camcorder and cheap special
effects. Soon another customer
requests the movie "Rush Hour 2."
During the filming of this movie,
they enlist the help of a local
shooting him, the goons try tying
Finn to an anchor to be dropped
in the ocean. Well, Finn escapes,
dusts himself off, and saunters
in to his divorce proceedings a
teensy too late, and as a result loses
everything to Tess, who ignores
Finn's tale of discovery.
Tess returns to the yacht, and
soon welcomes the visit of Nigel's
ditzy daughter, Gemma Honeycutt
(played by bright-eyed and bushy
tailed Alexis Dziena), whose role
in the movie is an absolute head
scratcher. In between waiting on
ITS
woman named Alma (Melonie
Diaz). Eventually, Jerry, Mike
and Alma create a system where
customers request movies to be
"sweded;" Jerry claims that the
movies are from Sweden, which
is the reason for the higher prices
($2O instead of the usual $1).
Before I say anything, I'm not
busting on the movie. With that
out of the way, I felt mislead when
the movie ended. When I first saw
the preview, I thought it was going
to be a laugh riot type movie.
However, it turns out to be not a
funny movie, but a "cute" movie.
It has a happy but not so happy
ending at the same time. It's really
kind of a strange thing to explain
without giving the movie away so
I'm just not going to talk about it
anymore.
,~~C✓r~ r
3 out 5. Average. Worth seeing
though.
GONE
Casey Affleck, Michelle
Monaghan; 1 hour, 44 minutes
A lot of the DVD reviews are just
movies that I didn't
review earlier in
the year. (If you
didn't figure that
out for yourself.)
After seeing this, I
may not have made
the best choice by
going to see "We
Own the Night"
first and waiting for
this one on DVD,
but hey, you live
and learn.
When a young
girl, Amanda
McCready, goes
missing in Boston,
the case attracts
widespread media attention. Not
only that, but every police officer
in Massachusetts is looking for
her as well. Private investigator
Patrick Kenzie (Casey Affleck,
"Ocean's Eleven") and his partner
and girlfriend Angie Gennaro
(Michelle Monaghan, "Kiss
the Honeycutts, Tess is consoled
by the two "hilarious" chefs aboard
the ship, who are wait for it
gay. Why does Hollywood keep
gay men relegated to the supporting
roles of the sidekick-confidante?
Duh, because gay men are just so
funny, that's why? Don't you watch
"Sex and the City"?
Between poorly timed jokes, an
exasperated Tess fears that Finn
will somehow make it aboard
the yacht in search of money
and support for his mission. This
is presumably to make it more
believable when he does in fact
somehow maneuver himself aboard
(Finn had no prior knowledge that
Tess was working on the Precious
Gem), and is cordially invited to
dinner. Tess, when serving the
meal, is absolutely startled by her
ex-husband's presence (despite
her accurate prediction of it), and
hilarity ensues.
But how did Tess and Finn first
meet? How does Finn propose to
find the hidden treasure, and what
makes it so important? Why does
Matthew McConaughey always
look like he needs a good hot bath
and a shave? All of these questions
(save one) are addressed in a
painfully long plot-dump sequence,
where the writers apparently
realized their mistake in leaving the
first half of the script up to Ritalin
deprived toddlers.
With pesky details like back-story,
character, and plot out of the way,
the latter half of the film stumbles
on like a decapitated chicken. The
Kiss Bang Bang") are hired by
the child's aunt to find her. She
believes that their familiarity with
the neighborhood will give them
greater success than the local
police, led by Captain Jack Doyle
(Morgan Freeman, "Seven"),
who lost his child in similar
circumstances.
Kenzie and Angie discover
that Amanda's mother, Helene
McCready (Amy Ryan, "Dan in
Real Life"), and her boyfriend,
"Skinny Ray", have stolen
$130,000 from a local drug lord.
After Ray is murdered, Helene
reveals the location of the money.
Believing the drug lord took
Amanda, Kenzie and Angie
along with the police detectives
investigating the case, Nick Poole
(John Ashton, "Beverly Hills
Cop") and Remy Bressant (Ed
Harris, "Apollo 13"), arrange
to trade the money with him for
Amanda.
When the credits first rolled,
I was scared because it said
"directed by Ben Affleck."
However, even though Ben
can't act, he should spend more
time behind the camera. He did
a fantastic job with this movie.
Not only that,
his brother,
Casey, killed
as the lead.
The rest of the
my roommate
watch it just so I could talk about
it. With the DVD, there is even an
extended ending that adds to that.
5 out of 5. All around awesome
climax cruelly jolts the audience
from their hitherto gentle slumber,
as it is very noisy with lots of
yelling and screaming.
(SPOILER ALERT)In the end,
Finn and Tess defeat the villains,
find the treasure, and rekindle their
romance. Finn may still be just
as much of a scatterbrain as he's
always been, but now he's rich!
"Fool's Gold" could have been
a nice. fluffy film if the creators
took the time to polish it. There
are hardly any moments of hilarity
throughout its entire duration,
and when there are good lines, it
is normally at the expense of the
"feel" of the movie; the funniest
line occurs near the middle of the
story, when most of the characters
(including Finn and Alfonz)
are enjoying an elegant dinner
aboard the Precious Gem. Amid
the uncomfortable conversation,
Alfonz innocently asks if there will
be any prostitutes, an appropriate
joke for a grittier film, but a gag
that ultimately comes off as a rather
alarming shift in tone for a movie
whose target audience watched
the Hanna Montana movie a week
before.
Much like the prostitution
joke, the movie is indefensibly
awkward, a hurried mishmash
of underdeveloped scenes and
characters; it feels like the creators
wanted to cash in on the publicity
generated by its two stars. It may
have characters, a beginning,
middle and end, but "Fool's Gold"
is not the real thing.
supporting cast
was dynamite as
well to back him
up. The best part
about the movie
was the amazing
twist ending that
will have you
wanting to talk
to someone and
discuss it. As
soon as it was
over, I made
E‘?