Around the horn
Hello classmates! How is
everyone's semester going? I
don't know about you, but I am
extremely excited for spring break.
In case you forgot the rules, let
me explain them to you: I will
ask three different sports-related
questions to each of the contestants
Based on how they respond, I will
either reward them points for
good answers or dock them
points for horrible answers.
In the case that their answer
is so pathetic that it doesn't v;
deserve to be printed in the
paper I will mute them and •
they will be out for the rest ; 4 4
of the article.
After each question I will ~;;
eliminate the contestant with
the lowest point total, until
there are two left.
The winner of the
showdown will get their time
to shine in the "Moment of
Fame" section. Here are the
questions:
1. Number one Memphis
went down to Number
two Tennessee on George
Washington's birthday.
Tennessee is the new Number
1 in College Basketball, but
do you think they will make
the Final Four? Give me your
Final Four and whom you
think is going to win it all.
2. Since I'm probably
the only hockey fan in the
Capital Times staff I'm going
to get some enjoyment out
of this question. Give me
your Eastern and Western
Conference Champions with
some strong reasons to back
it up. Also, give me your
Stanley Cup Champion and
the MVP of the League.
Remember: I love stats.
3. ESPN is currently
running the Greatest
Highlight Countdown on
"Sportscenter". What would
you select as the greatest
sports highlight of all-time
and WHY?
Question I
Austin - No, I do not see
Tennessee going to the final
4 this year. They play in a
weak SEC conference where
six of the teams have double
digit overall losses and six
teams are also below .500
in the conference (+). They
just lost a close game to
Vanderbilt the other night
after becoming the number
one team in the nation.
They are also very young,
which is going to hurt them
against the more experienced teams
in the tournament. Five of their
eight players are sophomores. My
final 4 are Notre Dame, Kansas,
North Carolina and Memphis.(+) (2
Points)
Carroll- I like Memphis in the
Final Four along with UNC, Duke
and Indiana. I like at least one mid
major like Memphis to get into the
Final Four along with a perennial
powerhouse or two from the ACC
(+).
I think the Big Ten is strong this
year; unless the administration
gets real dumb and suspends their
coach, Indiana should sneak into
the Final Four (-). (0 Points)
Aumiller- Well, this looks like a
nose dive week for me, seeing as I
don't even pay attention to college
basketball until the first day of the
tournament (+).
However, for this question, I'll
make it short and sweet and say
Tennessee (-), Memphis, North
Carolina, and Texas for the Final
Four and UNC will win it all. (+)
(1 Point)
King Kupfer- Memphis should be
glad they lost: going undefeated
is a distraction from the real goal,
winning the championship. Just ask
the Patriots! (++)
Now, remember, the REAL fun
is on days one and two, when
everybody plays wall-to-wall
and the upsets happen (+). That
craziness is why it's March
Madness, the best show in sports.
Too bad we don't get a George
Mason into the Final Four very
often. Usually the dust is settled
by then and the big dogs are still
chompin'. I see Tennessee falling
short, probably to a 2-3 seed
coming out of the ACC. Like, say,
a Duke, which makes me puke, or
UNC, which would be misery.
Final Four: Georgetown,
Memphis, UNC and.. . from out of
the West, your national champion
UCLA Bruins (-). Ugh. Gimme
Cinderella any day of the week."(+)
(3 Points)
My Thoughts Kulp, you're
lucky you gave a half decent
answer, considering you got your
answers in the last day of deadline.
Carroll, you're right, this will be a
short week for you, buddy.
Aumiller's answer was weak as
well, but at least he answered the
entire question and gave me his
national champion.
Carroll, why don't you make like
the Indiana Head, Kelvin Sampson
and just QUIT! Maybe Ariel should
start answering your questions. She
probably would have better luck!
Question 2
Kulp (2 Points) Well, since no
one follows hockey unless you
live in Canada or your name is
Matt Sarver (+) my picks will be
the New York Rangers (-) and the
Detroit Red Wings (-). With the
Rangers late additions of Redrik
Sjostrom and Christain Backman
they have addressed both their
ris A urtlt
defensive and offensive needs
Sjostrom is a physical player who
is having a career-high season with
10 goals and Backman is a great
veteran defender that's physical
with a great presence on the ice.
Ovehckin will win the MVP (+).
He has 48 goals this season, which
is Ist in the NHL, and he is 2nd in
points with 82 only 2 points behind
Evgeni Malkin (0 Points- total 2
Points).
Aumiller (1 Point) For the last
time Sarver, no one watches Versus
but you and other hunters! (+)
Moving on, I'm taking my Devils
in the East and to win it all. My
strong reasons? Least amount of
goals allowed, they are the best
team at home in the East right now,
and oh yeah, I always bet on #3O in
the net (+).
As for the other two questions,
let's go with Dallas out in the West
(+) to lose to the Devils, and the
MVP let's go with Alfredsson from
Ottawa (3 Points- total 4 Points).
King Kupfer (3 Points) The
Devils sit atop the East and they
think Stanley Cup berths are their
birthright. Notice their 148 GA
number: think Marty Brodeur
ith Matt Sarvei
scares his opponents in the
playoffs? You bet he does.
The Senators are finding
themselves again; the Pizza Line
delivers goals aplenty. But I've
seen this movie before: the road
to the finals runs through Newark,
with boring traps and suffocating
defense.
Devs face off against. . .whichever
team comes outta the mammoth
showdown between the Red Wings
and the Ducks(-). It'll be the best
post-season action in years. Quack,
quack, the Ducks are mighty
again after a slow start . . . But it's
Detroit's season.
Amazingly, the rocking-chair
brothers, Chris Osgood and
Dominator Hasek (+), stop
everything these days. Lowest GA
in the NHL. These two geezers
have one more run at greatness, and
when the two-gray-headed -monster
drinks Geritol from the hallowed
mug on the home ice at the Joe,
you'll remember where you read it
first! (-)
MVP? It'll be everyone's favorite
Russian, Alex Ovechkin(+), when
the charismatic goal machine leads
the Caps to the last playoff spot in
the East.
And most importantly, BRUCE
BOUDREAU, who started the
season with our own HERSHEY
BEARS, wins Coach of the Year
(++)!!!!" (2 Points- total 5 Points)
My Thoughts Kulp, did you
seriously say that the Rangers are
going to make it to the Finals?
You know Mark Messier isn't
THE CAPITAL TIMES March 3, 2008
playing anymore. There is no more
magic in the Garden. Plus, with you
having two extra days to get these
answers in and you mentioned
nothing about the best team the
PENGUINS getting Marian Hossa.
Unfortunately for Malkin and
Crosby they do have to go through
the beast in the East and that is #3O
Martin "I'm the best goaltender
ever" Brodeur
Kupfer, what are thinking about
the Quack Attack? This isn't a
Disney storyline anymore. There
is too much talent in the West for
them to come out for a second
straight season.
Aumiller, you're an idiot in
thinking Daniel "I'm the biggest
cry baby in hockey" Alfredsson is
going to win MVP. If Crosby didn't
get hurt he would have his second
Hart Trophy locked up.
But things happen and it's going
to come down to the Russians,
Malkin vs. Ovechkin. Hopefully
Malkin will lay him out like he did
a few weeks ago when those two
faced off.
Well, it looks like Aumiller
somehow, someway has made it
to the final Showdown to face the
King.
Showdown- Question 3
Aumiller (4 Points) - Bill Buckner
in the 1986 World Series. So, I
might be slightly partial, seeing
as it is the last time my Mets won,
however, it epitomized the Boston
Red Sox fan.
Bill Buckner was a hell of a
player and they never would've
been in the World Series without
him. The guy has over 2700 career
hits (not a lot of people can say
that) and he had over 100 RBl's in
1986 (++).
However, especially the young
Sox fans today, just remember him
as the bum who couldn't field the
ground ball (2 points- final total 6
Points).
Kupfer (5 Points) - Gotta go
sport-by-sport here. . . Hockey's
greatest is Bobby Orr's acrobatic
diving goal to give the Bruins their
last Stanley Cup in '7O.
Overtime against the Blues, at the
Boston Garden, and an airborne On
swats the biscuit past Glenn Hall.
This one play had it all: amazing
feat, championship stakes, and an
all-time great (+++).
Basketball? It's the best highlight
sport; those 'can-you-believe-what
you-just-saw?' moments.
Love a Dr. J flight down the
lane any day, but if you want
the very best, go to the very best
ever: Michael Jordan wins the
championship with the game-ender
against the Jazz in '9B: fakes right,
moves left, pushes off (but no ref
makes THAT call) and drains it:
Bulls 90-88, second three-peat
secure (+++).
In football? Well, here I'm
breaking away from my
championship game trend.
They call it "The Play" for a
reason. Cal vs. Stanford, mutual
hatred, Elway's last game, Stanford
kicks a field goal to go up 20-19;
Cal lines up only 10 players for
the kickoff return, the laterals, the
band, the trombone player laid flat
and Kevin Moen leaping in the air
with the ball. Bears, 25-20. Never
been anything like it (+++).
Baseball? It was the best highlight
ever, the Miracle of Coogan's
Bluff, the Shot Heard 'Round the
World. Hey, you kids! Believe it
or not, they played games before
ESPN was invented.
It's 1951. New York Giants erased
the 13 1/2 game Brooklyn Dodgers
lead. October 3, 1951; pennant
on the line in a best two-of-three
tiebreaker; Bums up in 4-1, bottom
of 9th, Reliever Ralph Branca peers
at Bobby Thomson, a kid named
Willie Mays on deck. . . and if you
don't know what happened, then
why in the heck are you reading
this???(+++) (12 Points Final
total 17 Points A NEW RECORD).
My Thoughts- I'm sorry Aumiller,
nobody can compete with that type
of answer.
Yes, I may have only asked for the
single greatest highlight, but the
King gave me one from each major
sport.
Kupfer, you have proven once
again that you dominate the Penn
State Harrisburg sports scene.
Now it is your time to shine,
KING!
MOMENT OF FAME
Kupfer - Here ya go, The King's
Rap:
I don't talk trash, cuz I'm old
school/
Act like you've won before's my
rule/
So what I want to say today/
Is that American Studies has a
conference on PLAY/
We'll study and talk about sports
and games/
Fans, `roids, and halls of fame!
I'll go to the thing and come back
here/
With more good stuff for class next
Readers who love sports, take note/
Sign up for my Sports class, this
ain't no joke.