Around the horn
By MATTHEW SARVER
Columnist
MDSSO 1 1 @PSU.EDU
Did they forget that they already
have an All-Star center in Amare
Welcome back my fellow Stoudemire?
classmates! The real trade to be noticed out
As some of you now know, I was west is the LA Lakers picking up
given the privilege to continue Pau Gasol to actually give them
the best sports column in the Cap a legitimate center since a much
Times. younger Shaq was there. (-1 point)
Allow me to explain the rules, for
the new readers of the Cap Times: Carroll- Shaq makes the Suns a
I will ask three questions to the real contender. (+)
four participants. Based on how Rarely do you see a team win
they respond to the questions, I will a championship with a team
either reward them points for good and coaching staff devoid of
answers or dock them points for championship experience. Shaq
terrible answers. brings 4 rings with him to the Suns
In the case that their answer is so
pathetic I will mute
them and not allow
them to continue
After each
question I will
eliminate one
contestant, until
there are only two
left. The winner of
the final showdown
will get eight to
ten sentences to
rant and rave about
whatever he likes.
Let's meet the
2008 spring
contestants!
First we have the
legend of Penn
State Harrisburg,
the man who
defeated me in
the King of Kings
tournament, Dr.
Charles Kupfer.
The second man
is known for his
homerun hitting
baseball skills, Kris
"Colgate Smile"
Aumiller.
Our third man and
newest member
of the Around
the Horn Panel is
Austin "I'm-so
fast-I-run-out-of-
my-own-shoes"
Kulp.
Finally the last
contestant, who has
been at school so
long they should
name the Olmsted
building after him,
is Matthew "Pops"
Carroll.
Let's get this
started. Here are
the questions
1. With Shaq
moving to the
Suns, does this
make them
the leading
candidate
for an NBA
championship
this year?
2. The Mets
added the
best pitcher
in the league
to an already
dominant
pitching staff.
How far do
you believe
Santana will
lead them this
3. The Giants
victory over the Patriots in and, like his journey to Miami,
the Super Bowl is claimed to his experience in the playoffs is
be the biggest upset in NFL far more valuable than his ability.
History. What is yours and He will teach the lovable losers in
why? Phoenix how to win a title.
My front-runners are still Boston
and Detroit (+) with Tim Duncan
and the Spurs my favorite in the
West. (2 points)
First Topic
1. With Shaq moving to the
Suns, does this make them the
leading candidate for an NBA
championship this year?
Aumiller- God, no! If anything, it
makes them worse.
They gave up one of their best
players in Shawn Marion (-) to
get Shaq, who is having by far
the worst season in his career.
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Kupfer- Excuse me? I think I
misunderstood - The Phoenix
Suns???
Let's see, is the NBA
championship suddenly vacant?
Did the Lakers just steal Pau
Gasol, the only worthwhile player
on the Memphis shelf, for a bucket
of warm spit? (++) Or is Greg
U -';
GM=
Popovitch quietly tuning up his
Spurs ready for another playoff
run? Lakers, Spurs...and you
wanna talk about PHOENIX???
Hmm... I realize it's an even
year, and that usually means the
Spurs are "off." But from where
I sit, it's the playoff road that
counts the most, and that road runs
through the City of Angels and San
Antonio.
However, the Suns are a candidate
for something: most panicky
franchise, as they are repeatedly
spooked by their rivals, the Lakers
and Spurs.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not
hating on Shaq-Daddy. I love the
guy. But that aching back ain't
gonna carry Phoenix past the big
bad boys out West. (-) (1 point)
Kulp- NO! The Suns are replacing
Shawn Marion with a less athletic
Shaq who is averaging less
minutes, points and rebounds a
game than Marion this season. (+)
The LA Lakers are my
leading candidate for the NBA
championship. (-) With Bynum
returning in March, and the
addition of Pau Gasol (who
is averaging 22 Points and 9
Rebounds a game in 3 games with
the Lakers), I don't see anyone
with Matt Sarver
beating them in the playoffs. (0 able to make the playoffs this year
but fail to translate Santana's AL
dominance into NL dominance.
My Thoughts- You guys know Take the examples of his
that Phoenix is already in first place teammate, Pedro, who has
in the West. fallen drastically short of his AL
points)
I'm not saying they are going to dominance with his tenure at the
win, but the addition of the Diesel Mets.
to the mix is only going to make Sorry Aumiller, your Mets will
them stronger. not win the World Series this year.
Marion was only averaging (+) (3 Points)
4th best in points in the starting
lineup... They don't need Shaq Kupfer (1 point) - Santana gives
to score, they need him for them what they didn't have during
rebounding and kicking it out to . their freefall last year: a stopper
Nash and Barbosa for 3's after he who can come in to end a losing
draws the double team. streak.
Sorry Aumiller, maybe next
Next Topic
2. The Mets added the best But Charlie "Corn Pone" Manuel
pitcher in the league to an already and his Phils are far from dead (- -)
dominant pitching staff. How far do Bring on the NL East playoff
you believe Santana will lead them race! (0 Points)
this year?
Carroll (2 points) - The Mets
don't know how to close out a
season
Their pitching staff is old and season.
their team isn't any better than The Mets are the 2" best team in
last year when they collapsed in the National League East, behind
historic fashion. the Braves, who will be show-
I predict that the Mets will be casing Smoltz, Hudson, Glavin,
THE CAPITAL TIMES February 18, 2008
He leads them to the playoffs
(which probably saves Willie
Randolph's job) and keeps the Mets
even with the Yanks on the back
pages of the NY tabs (+).
Kulp (0 points) - The Mets are
a wild card contender at best...
unless they can figure out a way
to pitch Santana every game this
Hampton and James as their
starting rotation (+).
The Mets have two solid starters
with Santana and John Maine, but
after that it's a young Oliver Perez
and an aging Pedro, who only
started 5 games in 2007 with a 9-8
record and 4.48 ERA.
Their sth starter is a 40—year-old
Orlando Hernandez who was 9-5
in 2007 and 11-11 in 2006 (+). (2
Points)
My Thoughts- Kupfer, you see
what happens when you mention
the Phils. You lose.
Plus, it feels good to eliminate
you after you defeated
me in the King of Kings
tournament. Good luck
next issue
FINAL SHOWDOWN
3. The Giants victory
over the Patriots in the
Super Bowl is claimed
to be the biggest upset in
NFL History. Which is
yours, and why?
Carroll (3 Points) - The
Jets win in Super Bowl
111 was, and still is, one of
the greatest upsets in NFL
History.
The newly incorporated
AFL beat the dominant
and well-established NFL
for the first time in title
history.
After that, the Patriots
defeat of the greatest
show on turf (The St.
Louis Rams) was a far
greater surprise than
the Giants upset of the
Patriots (-).
I hate the Giants almost
as much as it is likely that
Aumiller will strikeout
more than 15 times this
season for PSH baseball,
and will never give Giants
fans the satisfaction of
giving them the honor
of having pulled off the
greatest upset of all time
(-). (1 point)
Kulp (2 points)- The
New York Jets toppling
the Baltimore Colts in
Super Bowl 3 was the
biggest upset in NFL
history.
Coming into the game,
the Colts were an 18-
point favorite. Led by
Joe Namath, the Jets
defeated the Colts 16-7
(+) (3points)
My Thoughts Kulp,
even though your answer
really had no thought
behind it, I'm still giving
you the victory, because
Carroll mentioned the
Patriots victory over
the Rams as one of the
greatest upsets of all time.
Plus, until Spy Gate gets
off the Patriots back, they
are always going to be
cheaters in my book.
Congratulations Kulp;
your first time and you
win. You got 30 seconds!
Kulp- Almost everyone
has heard about the
steroid allegations between Roger
Clemens and Brian McNamee.
At the Congressional hearing on
the Mitchell Report McNamee
looked to be arrogant and
stumbling around his answers. If
it turns out that Clemens did not
do anything it is a shame that his
reputation and legendary career
has been drug through the dirt by
McNamee.
On a lighter note: now that Randy
Moss is on the free agent market,
the Eagles need to throw all the
money that they have to acquire
him for next year.
If they can pick up Moss, I'm
predicting a super bowl appearance
for next season.