By Nicole Burkholder
Capital Times Staff Writer
Penn State Harrisburg is plan
ning some seriously rockin’
events for this year’s Earth Day
celebration. Amidst the usual
inflatable climbing walls and
club tables, the Monsters of
Rock Tour will thunder and roar.
Featuring bands like Iron
Maiden, Skid Row, Demons &
Wizards, Slayer and many more,
the bands will kickoff their sum
mer arena tour at PSH. The show
will last all day and take place
between the new library and the
Olmsted Building.
Earth Day coordinator
Jeremiah Sensinig is very excited
about the event. “These are some
of my favorite bands. I never
thought that I’d get a chance to
see them right here on campus.”
The tour was procured by
Sensenig when he received a
phone call from the show’s pro
moter Rick Rock. Rock hap
pened to be driving on campus
during one of ASME’s car
smashing fundraisers and
noticed that this campus, “knows
how to have a gOod time.”
Sensinig was ecstatic and booked
the show immediately.
Sensinig is not the only one
Reviewed by: Dali Llama
Artist/Group: Mad Buddhist Rappers
Album Title: Monks Pack Gats Too
Label: Shaolin
Release Date: March 21, 2000
Genre: Rap
Overall Rating:
There is really not much to say
about it. The title of the album
gives it all away. The lyrics and
so-so and are usually drowned out
by the chanting.
I really don’t think that this
album is a keeper. The Rappers
are trying to represent their
monastery. Doesn’t work too
well! Keep trying y’all.
For Fans Of: Midnight Oil,
Gregorian Chants
Monsters to Rock PSH
who is excited. Humanities faculty
member Crispin Sartwell is ready
to rock. While throwing his fist in
the air, Sartwell’s only reply was,
“F**k yeah! Rock ‘N’ Roll!!!”
Rock also donated a guitar
signed by the “gods of metal” to
be auctioned off. The proceeds of
this auction will benefit the Jesse
Gutierrez Fund.
Gutierrez, a recent PSH gradu
ate, just can’t get himself away
from campus. The fund is designed
to find other things for Gutierrez to
do such as bowling and playing
arcade games at the mall.
President of the JGF, Brad
Grissinger, hopes to win the gui
tar himself. “It will make a lot of
money to get Jesse out of the
radio station and give me a cool
guitar signed by all of my musi
cal heroes.”
The show will be accompa
nied with many merchandise
tables, similar to the H.O.R.D.E.
festival. Vendors will be selling
band t-shirts, silver pagan jewel
ry, iron-on patches and lightning
bolt keychains.
Free lighters will be distrib
uted for use during the ballads
played by each band. The lighter
was specially designed by
Hessian/Metalhead expert and
Reviewed by: Dirty Sanchez
Artist/Group: Stinky Pinky
Album Title: I Got Crabs From
My Sister
Label: Genes Recirculated
Release Date: 1974
Genre: Country
Overall Rating:
Yee-haw! There ain’t nuthin’ bet
ter then a good ‘ol sh*t kicking,
chaw spittin’, wife smackin’ record
with lots of fiddle. With Bobo
Jenkins on the jug and Mama Sue
on the washboard, this 8-track will
never leave your pickup truck.
With tracks like “Chuckin’ Beer
Canz” and “Pa Drunk Up All My
Wiskey,” your boot will never stop a’
stompin ’.I tip my hat to this’un, y ’all.
For Fans Of: Cow Patty, Buffalo
Chips and Pigs ‘n Slop
PSH student Phil Yerger.
“I came up with this rockin’
design. It will pay homage to
both the school of Penn State and
the traditions of heavy metal
music.” The design features the
Penn State Nittany Lion playing
a guitar atop a fjord, in
Scandinavia.
Some of the original plans for
the show had to be cancelled due
to problems with Harrisburg
International Airport.
“The laser and smoke ele
ments of the show were a con
cern. We were afraid the pulsat
ing lasers and loud guitar riffs
might be distracting for incom
ing pilots,” said an HIA
spokesperson.
Plans are also in the works for
increased crowd control. “The
show is sure to attract
Middletown locals as well as
PSH students so police services
will need to beef up their man
power,” says Sensinig.
Riot squads are rumored to be
hired in order to keep the incessant
number of smokers away from the
doorways. Smoker and PSH stu
dent/expert Michelle Myers is
concerned that these metalheads
might try to steal her spot.
“They don’t know that the main
Ratings Key
Horrible ♦
I’ve Heard Worse
Borrow or Steal It, Don’t Buy It
I Would Probably Buy It
. Stupendous #&&&#
Photo courtesy ofwww.edromanguitars.com/
Monsters of RoOk show girl vyith signed guitar to be auctioned.
entrance of Olmsted is my spot. I
don’t mind sharing my space, but
they better not get in the way. I
halve to see Sebastian Bach in his
tight pants and long silky hair.”
Myers got too heated to finish
her response and resumed her
position in front of Olmsted to
Reviewed By: Captain Hollywood
Artist/Group: Sweat Stains
Album Title: Mullets Unite
Label: Dirty Hippy Records
Release Date: April 32, Y2K
Genre: Jazz
Overall Rating: #####
Straight out of Johannesburg,
this progressive hip-hop group
sounds like the new millenium’s
response to “Charles In Charge.”
With classic songs like
“Punching Myself In The Face”
and “Like Wow,” Sweat Stains
deliver like no other. WARN
ING: May cause inability to con
trol bodily functions. Dennis
Danell R.I.P.
For Fans Of: Boston, Willie
Nelson, Junkyard
FEATURES
smoke another cigarette.
All of the proceeds from the
merchandise sales will go to the
new library. Since the amount of
income is expected to be quite
high, there is a good chance that
the library will be named after
the Monsters of Rock tour.
Reviewed By: Dr. Peter Venkman
Artist/Group: Exit 37
Album Title: Help
Label: Think Tank
Release Date: April 1, 2000
Genre: Modem Rock
Overall Rating: #####
If you love dork rock, you’ll
love this three song sampler. This
band’s key instrument is the
accordion with key supports by a
harmonica and a kazoo.
Track 3 has an incredibly erie
kazoo solo that can outdo any gui
tar solo. If you think you’re drunk
or that your wife is cheating on
you, this is the music for you.
Only Exit 37 can create great
music with an accordion, harmon
ica and kazoo.
For Fans Of: Dana’s Navel, 2nd