By Brad Clements
Capita] Times Staff Writer
“Hey, how you doin’?” asks the
attendant at the front desk. “Have a
good workout,” he adds.
I walk into a dimension made of
cold iron, sweat, loud music and
flesh. Standing before me is a room
with music to “pump you up” ema
nating loudly from it.
The sounds of the music and peo
ple grunting and groaning draws me
to the door as if they magnetic.
I peek in. On 10 stationary bike
frames positioned in a circle, I see
people pushing and straining their
bodies to excel further and further as
if they are world class bike riders
competing in the Tour De France.
1 close the door and think to
myself, “Daaaaamn!”
I look to my right. Feelings that
should probably be saved for the
privacy of one’s home or bedroom
come over me.
Beautiful, lovely, sexy sights are
to behold. I see women: some in
tight fitting leotards, others in t-
shirts and shorts or sweats. Some
appear as if their bodies were made
for gym wear. For others, leotards
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aren’t exactly the best option.
No matter, the bottom line is that
they’re all stepping away on the
stepmasters and riding away on the
exercycles. All are on a quest, a
quest for that perfect body.
Now that my little “thrill” is over,
I step into the iron portion of the
gym. The portion containing the
cold, hard steel of the weights.
A scrawny fellow comes walking
up to me. I’ve never seen him
before; he must be a rookie.
“How much do you bench?
What’s your squat?” he asks excit
ingly.
Man, if I had a dollar for every
time I heard that one. Anyway, I
feed him some off-the-wall bench
press and squat numbers.
“Goddamn!” he says with his
eyes wide in impressed amazement.
I laugh. Some friends nearby share
in the laugh with me.
During my workout I occasional
ly shoot the s** t or someone shoots
the s**t with me.
“Hey look how good that girl on
the treadmill looks. Do you know
her? What’s her name? Does she
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have a boyfriend?” or “How much
you going for tonight? Why don’t
you try pushing up 315 pounds on
your bench press?”
These are a few of the common
ly said things in these shooting the
s**t sessions.
Toward the end of my workout, I
walk by a couple of individuals.
They’re deeply involved in a discus
sion of their past “glorious” workout
days.
“Yeah, I used to bench 500
pounds. That was a year ago when I
was living in Texas,” I overhear one
of them saying.
“Well, I used to compete - used
to weigh 300 pounds -- but I decid
ed to thin down. I didn’t like the
bulky look,” exclaims the other.
But, to thin down to 150 pounds?
Come on now.
It’s funny how it seems every
one’s best lifts or physiques occur in
different gyms and in different areas
other than the one they’re currently
Again, if I had a dollar for
time I heard these lines, I’d
well, you know.
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At the end of my workout I gath
er my weight belt and lifting straps,
tell a few friends bye, walk by the
cardiovascular area and those beau
tiful women. I try to be careful and
not stare too hard. I gotta be subtle
Final Regular Season
Intramural Football Standings
Team Record
East Coast Hoppers 8-0
Western Wildcats 6-2
Rawhide 3-5
Glen’s Team 2-5
Wild Weasels 0-7
Playoff Schedule:
Wild Weasels v. Glen’s Team (Nov. 16 @ 9 p.m.)
Rawhide v. Western Wildcats (Nov. 16 @ 10 p.m.)
East Coast Hoppers v. Wild Weasels/Glen’s Team (Nov 17 @ 9 p.m.
Championship Game:
Nov. 18 @ 9 p.m.
Capital College Championship Game:
PSH Champion v. PSS Champion (Dec. 7 @ 8:30 p.m.)
about it. I say good day or
night to the attendant and
through the door.
I don’t turn to look back
need to - because I know I'
coming back tomorrow.