Editorial
PSH courts some new
and positive changes
Did summer ever begin? We must have missed it, because here we are
again -- way too early by our estimate.
Indeed, it’s time to hit the books again. And, as our eloquent (not to
mention lengthy) messages from our staff and student leaders attest, people
are looking forward to a good year.
Now we’re not quite as joyful as they purport to be. After all, who
would really exchange the sun and relaxation of summer to walk these
beautifully tiled halls of the Olmsted Building.
But we’re not ready to start complaining too loudly. First, it’s unneces
sary and, around here, it’s getting old. Second, ds David Bowie suggests,
it’s time to “turn and face the strange ch-ch-ch-changes.”
PSH’s continuing attempt to transform our campus modifier from com
muter to community is starting to bare some fruit. Yeah, the parking lot is
nothing but an overlong swath of black, and you still need $75 for the
privilege. But at least the walk into Olmsted is easier on the eye.
A few picnic tables, a little shade and, just imagine, a few flowering
plants. We’ve already seen students sitting out at the new tables studying
and enjoying the last days of a summer on its last legs.
Hmm ... studying, what a joy. It ranks up there with looking out the
Cap Times windows and seeing the construction of the new science and
technology addition. Nothing like the sun gleaming off dirt to raise the
spirits.
Yet, with a little foresight, a completed center appears as another step
forward for the campus. It usually doesn’t hurt to have up to date facili
ties around. It plight Jje nice to look out aqd see the finished product.
Speaking of up to date, construction on 'the newfibraryis.obvioiisly?
underway:Although the Caplimes will miss the current “bookshed” sec
tion, an updated library will push the campus another step ahead —not to
mention take care of the former grass mound now posing as more of that
glimmering dirt and affectionately billed as “library hill.”
And hopefully as plans progress, the administration’s goals for campus
beautification will take shape. It might be nice to look out these windows
and see a campus with a few buildings that aren’t part of a single linear
plane not to mention a few more trees to sit and study under.
It would also be a pleasure to see the effect of these upgrades rub off on
the student body, too. Perhaps we might actually develop the idea of be
ing part of a college community. Imagine, if you will:
Students sticking around campus, even after classes are over; cultural
and fun events being attended by more than 50 people; intramurals pit
ting large sections of the school against itself in friendly competition; and
yes, we wouldn't mind a few more of those infamous late-night-feels
like-my-head-is-full-of-cement-the-next-moming keggers - It all sounds
like an actual campus.
The initial interest we’ve seen so far this year in the Cap Times suggests
such an attitude adjustment might already be happening. Something we
couldn’t be happier about.
Mind you, we would like to see more participation. But changes are
already underway, and more seem imminent. Granted, they’re not so
strange, but Bowie would probably be proud anyway.
Life's short already, so have fun
By Crispin SartweU
Sartwell’s First Law of Social
Dynamics: Safety is inversely pro
portional to fun.
A colleague of mine, who wishes
to remain anonymous but whose
name is Michael Barton, recently
returned from South Carolina with
some fireworks. This stuff is very
illegal here. Living in town, Barton
figured he’d get caught if he lit
them. I live in the middle of no
where, so he gave them to me. Now
I’m sitting on a seemingly infinite
cache of low-grade munitions: M
-70s, Black Bombs, firecrackers and
Giant Thor missiles.
My ex-wife thinks I will injure
my children. But Sam, Emma and I
are willing to take the chance. Gi
ant Thor missiles are fun, and one
thing that's fun about them is we are
risking injury, arrest and deporta
tion back to glorious Dixie. Few
phrases of our beloved mother
tongue are as captivating as this
one: WARNING SHOOTS FLAM
ING BALLS.
Now that’s a warning label. Con
trast it with the pitiful “caution:
contents hot” you purchase with a
cup of coffee at McDonald's.
Another example: The only social
life that exists at our beloved Penn
State Harrisburg occurs outside the
front door of ttie main building,
where smokers gather and gab.
New regulations have arrived, how
ever, to save us from the threat of
instant death posed by even a dis
tant whiff of . immolated tobacco.
It’s against the rules to smoke out
side.
Daniel A. Zefar Matthew J. Bowman
Editors
The FDA wants hegemony over
nicotine, and I’m figuring they are
aiming for a ban. This of course
they are doing for our safety. But
as the poet W.S. Merwin, now in
his seventies, wrote about tobacco:
“as your lungs squeak shut, think
also what fun it is.”
Speaking of fireworks, tobacco
and murder, the New York Times
reports the reason the murder rate
is so high in this country can be
summed up in two words: the
South. Murder rates in the South are
traditionally much higher than in
other regions. The experts who the
Times consulted connect that to the
“culture” of the South, in which
people are quick to resent an insult,
and in which they are heavily armed
with the means to express their re
sentment.
This calls up apparitions of guys
with huge grey sideburns saying
“you have insulted me, sah, and we
shall meet on the field of honor,”
or tattooed good ol' boysTjrawling
homicidally in roadhouses. The
Times hinted the culture of the
South is a pathology that could be
cured if we could just get the whole
region into therapy, or perhaps re
move its residents to reeducation
camps or public schools in Massa
chusetts.
I lived in the South for many
years. It’s probably a bit more dan
gerous than the North. It’s definitely
more dangerous than Boston, which
of late has been setting records for
fewest murders. But it would be a
shame to cure the South of its cul
ture or even to disarm it. In the im
mortal words of Hank Williams Jr.,
photographs property
No parts of this paper may be reproduced Crispin Sartwell
. consent of the editors. Adviser
'> not endorse its advertisers.
“a country boy can survive.” The
South is the repository of the last
vestiges of something we might
quaintly call “America.”
We are losing our freedom and
our fun not to jackbooted thugs but
to bespectacled geeks from the pub
lic heaith establishment.
You know we could make our
selves much safer than we are by
imposing ever more draconian
regulations on each other, and the
geeks are doing that as quickly as
possible. We could straighten out
our various kinks by government
decree. We could ban all things that
might cause pain or death: guns,
fireworks, motorcycles, opera, ice
cream.
We could live much longer on
average than we do. We could also
be incredibly bored and incredibly
boring.
Death sucks. I have lost one
brother by gunshot wound, another
by drug overdose. My father’s
smoking habit killed him. But life
can suck too when you live in a
padded world in which hardly any-
thing happens.
So allow me to suggest some
quick applications of the First Law
of Social Dynamics: Let’s light a
few cherry bombs and cancer
sticks, risk the presidency for sex
and listen to some gangster rap.
Relax. We’ve all got to go some
time etc., etc. We might as well die
interested, and interesting.
Crispin Sartwell teaches
communications for Penn State
Harrisburg's humanities
department.
Times
Christine Downs
Business Manager
Penn State
author Brad Moist
faculty Assistant Editor
issue
;rs. No Kim Glass
name Photographer
;ditors.
Cam-
Pike,
-6440, or
FRED
Cartoonist
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