Comedy: solution to mid-semester bl
Ann Knorr
Capital Times Staff
Well, we're midway through the
semester, an I'm sure everyone is up to
their armpits in papers, projects, and
tests. HAVE NO FEAR, ANNIE'S
HERE. I have just the solution for
you..comedy.
You heard me. Attention all
engineers...put down that chemistry
book (the symbol for hydrogen will
always be H; no need to look at it for
the 50th time tonight.)
Elementary Ed students stop trying
to memorize the "fifty nifty United
States" song-and all you Secondary Ed
students close those planners, it's
Monday; if it's not done by now you're
too late.
A Parable for
To the Editor
As I was at the kitchen sink washing
the coffeepot early Friday morning,
October 22nd, a parable popped
unsummoned into my consciousness. I
dried my hands, picked up a pen and
wrote what seemed like dictated phrases
and word. It needed hardly any editing.
Since I know you and the Cap Times
staff are interested in extraordinary
events and experiences of student,
faculty and staff at PSH, I thought I
should offer the parable to you to use in
any black space you might need to fill
(re: your lament --"We need you to fill
this space" in past issues).
I thought my inspiration might be
something other writers and thinkers
here would possibly understand better
than I and in turn might explain to me,
since my writing in the past has been
more conscious and willed, more
intellectual and interpretive, more
abstract and theoretical. This strange
dictation reminded me more of Poe than
of Hawthorne or Nikki Giovanni. Was
it something to do with Halloween
spirits, evil or otherwise? Some
mischief in the air?
To these ends--the potential answers
to my questions--I offer this complete
it-yourself parable for your thoughtful
consideration and that of your readers. I
hope they and you will respond.
One advantage of having this out-of
mind experience at this time was the
opportunity if afforded me to draw
attention to TARNHELM, the campus
literary• and arts magazine, whose
editorial and managerial staffs are now
Is "Carlito's Way," yours?
Michael David Winter
Capital Times Reviewer
Now at a theatre near you, Al Pacino
in "CarlitO's Way." Another mob
picture? Well, yes and no. That's also
the answer to whether I liked it or not.
It's just hard to say.
Pacino plays Carlito, a Puerto Rican
New Yorker, just released from prison
and trying to go straight. Carlito is a
legend in the barrio, and no one is
willing to believe he has given up his
life of crime. No matter what he does,
he keeps getting drawn back in.
Penelope Ann Miller plays his love
As for you Com Sci majors, turn off
your screens and join us in front of a
bigger screen that will turn your brains
to mush. Besides you're developing
arthritis in your pinkie from trying to
stretch to the backspace key. (That goes
for all you main frame junkies - you
know who you are - if it's that
important they will leave you a message
on E-Mail.
Communication students out there,
put away your "sassy reporter
notebooks," drag yourself away from
that editing booth, put off the Film and
Criticism paper one more day (don't
worry about it. Remember, a certain
percentage of our grade depends on
watching and talking about a movie.
Hey, Mr. Churchill never said we all
couldn't talk about the same movie).
forming. Professors Thomas, Ross and
I have for many years advised the
undergraduate and graduate students from
all divisions and schools who work on
TARNITELM. We know the wisdom of
starting before Thanksgiving. Certainly,
PSI-I sorely needs such a publication:
outstanding writing and art created by
students and, sometimes, faculty and
staff. This academic year more than any
other in the past, we need
TARNHELM.
Here then is the parable
The Year We All Went Silently
Mad
We count by academic year
nine months of gestation
called the "M Contract"--
who knows why? "M" for
Mother?
Slide projectors blew bulbs; overheads
turned on us, blinding us
to the facts we had hoped to project
(we'd given up on truths long before);
reels of film kept breaking into
pieces; VCRs played only the video of
"Smell My Finger"-- no Shakespeare,
no Langston Hughes, no Emily
Dickinson.
Everything got away from us,
got out of hand and
in the appalling silence
we kept trying to teach.
And we wondered if we were
responsible--either for the
disasters or the silence.
interest (Gail), a dancer who has done
some legitimate theatre, now marking
time in a strip/go-go club.
Sean Penn plays Dave, Carlito's
Jewish lawyer and friend. Dave is out
on the edge, heavily into drugs and busy
ripping-off the mob.
I'm not going to give you any more
of the story, that would ruin it if you go
see it for yourself. And it might just be
worth seeing, if for no other reason than
one of the coolest chase scenes I've seen
- all on foot.
But, in some ways, the movie is
almost entirely predictable. Part of it is
the narration by Pacino all through the
What am I babbling about?
Relaxing.
You know that one little thing that
college students forget to do around mid
terms.
Let's start the evening out with a few
classics. A little Abbot and Costello
(may I recommend The Time of Their
Lives ...excellent flick), Chaplin
perhaps, maybe a few Stooges (three to
be exact). After that we could swing
into a few favorites like Barefoot in the
Park, Funny Girl, or any Ma and Pa
Kettle movie is a winner, perhaps some
Danny Kaye (not White Christmas
though, that's for next issue) or how
about a little sweetness from Shirley
Temple (remember, not all of her
movies were sad ones).
PSH
Lights went out in the middle
of a lecture; chairs came un
balanced as students conferred
in groups on
the ethics of cultural diversity
requirements
of p.c., AC/DC, MBAs, TQI and CQI;
blue paint on handicap parking spaces
began to run off in the rain and the
elevator (slowest in the western
hemisphere)
refused to budge; the copper sheeting on
the tech building turned chartreuse;
Vartan walk cracked in a hundred places
and
dandelions pushed up, joined by
saxifrage
and wild violets.
There were amazingly no outbreaks of
violence, not even
angry outcries, when the asbestos
started to float visibly in
the classrooms, halls, offices; nor
even when the water sulfurous yellow
For everyone kept trying to teach.
And then as suddenly as it
had all begun, it
stopped.
Nothing returned to its past state,
no renaissance occurred.
Folks just said, "Enough"; said,
"No"; said, "Free at last" as they
Well, you know; you finish
this parable. I'm heading for
my spacious, well-appointed office
to write a book.
The research is over.
Theodora Rapp Graham
movie. Other parts of the movie are
just inevitable.
The final climactic moment of the
movie did surprise me, but only because
I actually heard a few people in the
audience gasp.
But, don't get me wrong. I had a
good time at the theatre. I watched
some really good actors doing good
work. I just knew everything they were
going to say before they said it.
Sorry, but you'll have to make up
your own minds about this one.
Rated R: violence, brief nudity
November 18 . 1 1 M5 993, FEATURES / 3
Our next flick should be up beat;
maybe a musical like Hair (well it's
funny to watch now), Grease (part I is
preferred, but II will do), or Annie (go
on..be brave..you can deal with the few
sad parts).
Or if your not into musicals maybe
some of those wonderful B-films
(yes..they come in comedy as well as
horror) such as, Where the Boys Are,
H.O.T.S. (I have no idea what it stands
for), you know the kind I mean...the
ones where women prance around half
naked, bone head guys get lucky, and
both of them save the world (well, not
exactly but you get my point).
Then you have the ultimate side
breakers like Toy, Big, Mr. Mom, all
Embrace
Ann-Marie Miller
Capital Times Staff
"Show me the way. Give me the strength
to believe that I'll get there someday, and
show me the way." These are lyrics from a
popular song from 80's, sung by the group
Styx. Although the group is secular, their
lyrics vocalize what many Christians,
including myself, feel.
In this world of darkness, it seems harder
and harder for Christians to be able to keep
their heads above the murky waters of evil.
To live in a society which openly accepts
abortion, homosexuality, sexual
promiscuity, and is becoming increasingly
violent, Christians are finding it harder to
cope and live Godly lives.
Time and time again we find ourselves
feeling alone and abandoned, needing some
kind of encouragement or sign from God.
But instead of being patient and turning to
Him, we turn to alcohol, drugs, violence and
suicide. Satan thrives on our feelings of
loneliness, targeting not only the old, but
also the young. (Suicide is the nation's
second highest cause of death among our
teenagers today.)
It is in times of trouble that the
questioning of God comes in. When death
and disasters strike, we demand of God,
"Why God, if you are a holy and just, would
you let innocent people and children die?"
It wasn't until a couple of years ago that I
came to realize why God allowed so much
evil in the world. In the book of Second
Corinthians 4:17-18, God said, "For this
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the National Lampoon Movies, any
movie that contains Rodney
Dangerfield, Richard Prior (although
they are offensive), Chevy Chase,
Robin Williams, Whoopi Goldburg,
Goldie Hawn, and so on and so on.
And of course we can't forget the
award winning spoofs like, Robin
Hood, Men in Tights (Carey Elwes is a
God), Hot Shots (I and Deux), Naked
Gun (part I and II half), Money Python's
The Holy Grail, History of the World
Part 1 (when is II coming out?), and The
Meaning of Life.
Well I think that wraps up
everything. This should keep you until
finals week. Until then, let th e
mindlessness of the movies turn your
brains into mush.. and I'll see you at the
movies.
the Lord
slight momentary affliction is preparing for
us an eternal weight of glory beyond all
comparison, because we look not to the
things that are seen but to the things that are
unseen; for the things that are seen are
transient, but the things that are unseen are
eternal."
This is why God allows innocent people
and children to suffer; we must endure these
hardships in order for us to prosper. As the
saying goes, one must break eggs in order to
make an omelet. Even precious gold, in its
purest state, has to be refined many times,
melted down again and again in order for it
to be as beautiful as it is in its finished
form.
So in times of trouble, call upon God for
help. For a word of encouragement, look to
your friends and family. Galatians 6:2 says,
"Bear one another's burdens." When you
call on the Lord, He will not let you down.
Second Thessalonians 3:3 says that "The
Lord is faithful; he will strengthen you guard
you from the evil one."
As a word of hope and encouragement,
remember that you are never alone. Feelings
of loneliness and depression come from
Satan himself. If you call upon the Lord as
well as fellow Christians and friends, you
will get through your hard times. It may
seem that you never will, but you will.
Although it may be hard to believe, life
on Earth in only momentary. If you accept
Jesus Christ as your Savior, you will live
forever in mansions of gold. A thousand
years will seem only to be a blink of an eye.
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