Bloomsburg excursion is fair at best
Michael Stone
Capital Times Staff
When we last left our superhero,
Etched, he was battling the sex-crazed
kitten/she-devils of the planet
Nymphoria....
Oops! Back to reality. This is column
number three (for those of you keeping
score at home).
Last week I visited the infamous
Bloomsburg Fair. It would be so great if I
could compare it to the York Fair, but
since I didn't go to the York Fair, I can't. I
could compare it to the Renaissance Faire,
but thine humble scribe could not joust at
Bloomsburg.
But in all fairness, the Bloomsburg
Fair belongs in a class by itself. It has
become a yearly tradition for me since I
started college, and I manage to have a
great time each year.
My friend, Joe, and I went at the end of
the fair's week-long stay. My assumption
was that everyone would have gotten the
fair out of their systems by then. I
assumed wrong. Traffic was unbelievable
and it took forever to park.
Some areas right off the main street
advertised parking for five dollars. Their
lots were full--full of people not smart
enough to realize that you could park right
next to the main gate for two bucks.
Admission to the fair wasn't too steep.
I asked one fair "official" if the student ID
could be used (last year, anyone with a
student ID got in free any time).
The guy barked, "Tuesdays only, boy!
You gotta pay two bucks tonight!" For a
second, I felt like Chevy Chase asking for
directions in the movie "Vacation."
Wake up
Lisa Malask
Capital Times Staff
We may be living in the '9os, but
when it comes to the subject of rape, our
society is still pathetically close-minded.
Sure, I hear it all the time; women are
making tremendous strides. Equality is
around the corner. I say it's poppycock.
Unfortunately, what is around that corner
may be a sub-human, filthy, despicable
mongrel whose major goal in life is to
degrade and humiliate women.
You see, many ignorant (and I mean
uninformed) people still feel that rape is
brought about by promiscuous women
who are "asking for it." Get real! I hate to
burst your bubble, but your logic is
grossly incorrect.We must dispel the
myth! Rape is not a crime of passion.
Rape is a display of power and violence.
Just a few years ago, there was a case
in Florida where a woman testified against
her attacker at a trial. The woman was on
trial--not her loathsome attacker. It was
said that she "asked for it" because she
wasn't wearing underwear. The rapist,
oh...excuse me...alleged rapist, got away
A concerned reader shoots back
Dear Editor:
This is in response to Lisa Malask's
opinion on animal rights. I am not a
"radical activist." I am merely a person
with an opinion. Lisa said that the hunters
were within their rights at the Sept. 7
pigeon shoot in Hegins, Pa. These birds
were not gathered up from an
overpopulated city, they were raised solely
I paid my sheckles and went through
the "way too low" turnstile (my voice is
an octave higher now, thanks). We
encountered the trademark smell...vve
passed the farm animals. Yum...l'm
ETCHED IN STONE
hungry. It didn't bother Joe--he grew up
on a farm with animals galore. (Actually,
it didn't smell too unlike the odor that
wafts over this campus during a hot
summer day when the breeze is right.)
Our main goal as we trudged onward:
eat everything in sight. We dabbled in a
cheesesteak from Vince's. It cost about
three bucks, but hey, it was great. As a
matter of fact, I can still taste the
cheesesteak as we speak.
Next on our eating agenda was to find
the 35-cent hot dog stand. Now, many
stands that you pass will offer hot dogs
from 90 cents to two dollars. We
persevered and finally found it: 35-cent hot
dogs...or three for a dollar. Joe and I were
in glutton heaven.
It just so happens that the stand next to
it offered chocolate-chip cookie dough ice
cream. "I'll have a bit of that," I remarked.
It was then time to tempt fate--on to
the rides!
I don't know if you knew this, but
Bloomsburg seems to be the only place
that isn't required to have safety inspection
stickers on their amusement rides. I guess
it just makes it all that more exciting.
Joe and I were joined by some friends
from State College. They brought along a
person that I'm not too fond of, whom I
will call "Ken." I suggested Ken should
ride that circling space shuttle that gets
to the horrors of rape
with his horrendous crime due to the fact
that this uncouth, wanton, woman's garb
wasn't ladylike!
Are 90-year-old women sexy? Do most
grandmothers parade around in slinky
LITERALLY LISA
apparel, carousing bars and propositioning
men? No...then why are they raped?
Because rape is some deranged, demented
pervert's idea of gender superiority...of
power. Rape is a cowardice, abominable
display of heinous violence. Yet, the
woman is usually blamed.
Women know how horribly rape
victims are treated in the courts. The law
doesn't protect women. Victims are made
to feel cheap and dirty. Their past actions
are on trial, and their reputations and self
esteem are destroyed. The guilt is projected
onto the woman. It is no wonder that so
many of these crimes go unreported.
I strongly feel that rape can be more
traumatizing than murder. After all, when
you're dead, you're dead; you feel no pain.
Rape victims have to live with the fact
for the purpose of the shoot. They were
also so malnourished and weak that they
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
had to be launched into the air with a
catapult. They were too weak to fly. Talk
about the "thrill of the hunt!" These birds
didn't have a chance!
stuck upside-down every year. He declined
Damn.
We all went on something called the
tornado, which is Hershey Park--
possessed. We could see my Meade
Heights house when it reached its highest
point. I came pretty close to tossing my
cheesesteak, so to speak. I made sure that
Ken was sitting across from me on the
ride.
Next on the agena was winning a teddy
bear for the girl in the group--a yearly
tradition which usually costs about $3O
and takes about four hours (which, by the
way, is the length of Guns 'N Roses
"November Rain" video).
By some weird kismet, I chose this one
spot on the third try and won. I was kinda
ticked off--it should've been my bear. I
named him "Theodore Edward Bear,"
hence, Ted E. Bear. Clever, huh? (I gotta
stop sniffing this newspaper layout glue.)
Our group passed the attractions. There
used to be this guy Billy, whose life was
ruined by drugs. He was replaced this year
by an "unnamed" recovering addict. Billy
is probably collecting his pension now.
And then there's the bearded women.
Folks, I grew up in New Jersey. If I took
the train to Newark, I saw nothing BUT
bearded women. Victor Kiam would've
bought the city (he's the one that bought
Remington Microscreen, for those of you
that don't watch as much TV as I do).
I suggested to Ken that maybe he
should spend the few bucks to see the
bearded lady. It was probably awhile since
he had seen his mother--with her traveling
around and all.
000000000
Some column sidenotes, or "random
that they have been emotionally and
physically violated. Their lives become
nightmares.
The victims, and their loved ones,
must deal with this for the rest of their
lives. In fact, many marriages fall apart
when the husbands are repulsed because
their wives have been "soiled." This crime
can have a profound effect on so many
lives.
Most of the barbarians either walk free
or plea bargain...a mere slap on the wrist.
And many of these freaks rape again and
again.
I used to think that rapists should be
castrated; but now I realize this is too
good for them. They should be killed.
That's right...capital punishment.
Don't tell me these animals can be
reformed. I watch the most savage
television program there is, with the
exception of cartoons--the news. And I
know that these sadistic, morbid creatures
should be put to death. Even if they were
castrated, they would still find an outlet
for their destruction, because if they are
unable to rape, then they'll murder.
I personally don't believe in hunting
for sport. I am not against purposeful
medical testing, provided it is for
necessary medical research. I hardly
consider cosmetics a necessary reason to
waste animal lives. Yes, we all need to
eat, wear clothing and stay healthy, but to
take another life to make ours a little
exciting or glamorous at times just isn't
right. Since humans are apparently a
etchings," if you will
- The other day, one of my professors
passed out seven, 15-page handouts to a
class of 30. 01' Penn State University put
a limit on the amount of photocopying.
My question: What the HELL does our
tuition go for here? It's not for laser
printing, computer stuff, library
restoration, COMFORTABLE CHAIRS,
or a parking fee.
I bet you a case of Coke that Penn
State spared NO EXPENSE when they
made two zillion copies of their little
Pepsi deal to pass out amongst themselves
while pondering what to do with all the
money. Joab, Dr. Ruth, fellow
students...how about some insight?
- What's the deal with Ross Perot?
While we were typing our stuff in, we
were afraid he might drop out before the
papers were printed. We started a pool to
see what day and time he bites the dust.
The winner gets a pair of rubber Dr.
Spock ears.
- I would like to personally thank all of
those that helped me with the surveys,
especially D.S.--yes, folks, he's real.
- Hey, I made a step in my life (for a
change): I registered to vote for the first
time! It's all set. Only one problem: I
have NO idea where this voting place is.
Oh well, I have the entire day to find it.
While in the car, I can also think more
about who I'll vote for--practicing one
potato(e), two potato(e)...
- If you find out who's been writing
my initials everywhere, please let me
know.
Oh, well. More about the sex-crazed
kittens in the next issue...
Remember, it is not about sex; it is about
violence.
In spite of his violent nature, a rapist
can also be a talented actor. He may be the
sweet, chivalrous gentleman who is
sending you drinks from across the bar. He
could be a stranger, an acquaintance, a
neighbor, a member of the military (have
you seen the news lately?) or a date.
Beneath a gleaming smile may be an
animal seeking his prey.
Well, I've been awfully hard on rapists.
They deserve rights, too, correct? This is
America. Well, guess what? They have the
right to refuse an AIDS test. Let's put the
woman through a little more torment...a
trip to hell...existing instead of
living...wondering every second of every
minute if she has contracted the disease
which will most assuredly end her life.
I think the most frightening thing of
all is that most women think this can't
happen to them. They're too egocentric to
fathom the idea that no one is immune.
This is something which only happens
to other people, right? Just ask the Central
Park jogger.
"higher" being than pigeons, I'm curious
what everyone would think if suddenly a
higher being than us came into our lives
and started killing or maiming us...just for
fun.
Steve Swanson
Senior, Mechanical Engineering
Technology