What hai
Soap dish causes mayhem
Jeff Berrigan
Capital Times Staff
Well, it's that time of the month
again - the rent's due. Oh yea, the paper
comes out too, I almost forgot. I can't
believe that it has been three weeks since
the last issue of the Cap Times came
out.
In these last few weeks here before
finals there have been some more of
those "trivial items" that have caught
my attention and produced a "Hmmm" or
two. So without delay let's check out
these new "Hmmm's" that are on
display...
Why are certain colors considered
colors? Hmmm. I mean what happened
to red, blue, green, and yellow? These
colors seem to have been replaced by
"sea foam”, "sky", "coral", and
"nutmeg." Does anyone know what any
of these "colors" looks like? I guess sea
foam is white, sky is blue, coral is tie
dye, and nutmeg is - well who knows
what color nutmeg is! I want to see the
makers of Crayola crayons come out
with the color "paisley." Now that is
something that would impress me. I
think the next time I fill out a form
requesting the color of my hair I’ll say it
is "cinammon."
What is up with nine year olds
making records now? Hmmm. Here we
have the members of Another Bad
Creation, they sing "lesha", who are
nine and ten years old. Have you heard
the lyrics to this song? They go like
this: "... lesha, you are the girl that I
never had...." The girl they never had-
PUH-LEEEZE! These guys are going to
be fathers at the age of eleven with this
kind of talk. When I was nine years old
the only thing on my mind was football,
Milky Ways, and tadpoles. If these kids
want to sing about anything it should be
recess or milk break. The girl they
never had...
Letter to the editor
Student opposes requirement
Letter to the Editor
Hardly a week passes at Penn State
Harrisburg without some news heralding
the benefits of cultural diversity. In fact,
the importance of cultural diversity at
PSH was presented to me within hours
after my arrival on campus. During the
orientation sessions, a special section
was devoted specifically to cultural
diversity, including such concepts as
acceptance of different lifestyles, values
and cultures. The underlying message
communicated during these sessions was
that there aren't any absolutes. "Joe's"
values are as good as mine, and in order
to be culturally enriched, I need to
welcome all ideas with open arms.
Certainly these concepts are an echo
of various humanity and sociological
courses which emphasize the absence of
absolutes and universal moral dogma.
Due to this, they are usually swallowed
hook, line and sinker as gospel fact.
ened to red?
Whose idea was. it to put the soap
dish in direct line with the shower head?
Hmmm. Is it me, or is the soap like
mush by the time you grab it? It is like
smearing pond scum all over your body -
that's if you can keep a hold of that
slippery little sucker. You grab it and it
shoots out of your hand like an oversized
guppy. Now that I think about it James
Brown must have had something to do
with the placement of the soap dish. I
mean all his talk about jumping back
and kissing himself must have rubbed
off. I could just see him in prison saying
"Heh, bend over and pick up that soap,
Heh!" No wonder he is always
screaming.
Who chooses the place and pose for
lingerie models? Hmmm. Look through
any catalogue and you will see what I
mean. It's something we see everyday -
three girls with sunglasses on, wearing
push up bra's and lace panties, perched
on the hood of an IROC Z-28, next to a
ski lift. They are in such natural poses
too. It makes you wonder how much
longer they could hold the pose without
cramping up. Not only that, but look in
the background. Here we have two guys
changing the oil in their snowmobile -
unaware of the presence of these three
lightly clad ladies. If I were one of those
guys I'd either be packing snowballs or
thanking the Lordy for this gracious gift.
Anyway... before I get in too much
trouble here...
I don't want to run on too long here
so I'll have to cut myself short. I'd like
to congratulate all the seniors who are
graduating this semester, wish luck to
all those who have to do some more
"time" here at PSH, and thank all my
professors for putting up with my
antics. Well, Jazzy must break out like a
scout on a new route. Peace to everyone,
I'm oouutttaaa here! C-ya.
mentatlity actually produces if it is
followed diligently to the utmost?
The Iraq/U.N. war unfolded some
incredible human atrocities. Eyewitness
accounts of Iraqi soldiers inserting
screwdrivers into the eye sockets of the
citizens of Kuwait and proceeding to
gouge out their eyes is not to be taken
lightly. Neither are accounts of
decapitated/detongued heads thrown at the
feet of horrified family members. Does
the commitment to cultural diversity
mandate that these atrocities be viewed
merely as different, but totally acceptable
treatment to human life?
Or what about the cultures where
husbands regard their wives simply as
disposable property, sometimes even to
the extent of having higher regard for
their animals than their spouse. Does the
' acceptance of cultural diversity dictate
that there is really nothing wrong with
Voice from Hell returns
Earth Day popularity fizzles
Bob Caton
Capital Times Staff
Unload the gun...untie the
noose...shut off the oven...take the
endless loop cassette of "Greatest Hits of
Air Supply" out of your tape deck...wipe
off the steak sauce and get away from the
tiger cage...take back your tickets for
Jamie Farr and Rob Lowe in "Henry V."
I'm back.
Yeah, yeah, I know...nobody even
noticed that I was gone...how soon they
forget...maybe I should write another
baseball article just to piss off those
wonderful people on campus who take
EVERYTHING literally.
Actually, what is sort of annoying
me now is hype.
Remember about a year ago, the big
thing was "EARTH DAY?" Why was it
big, campers? Because the media TOLD
us it was big! MTV said it was cool, so
everyone had to follow like lemmings to
the cliff.
This year is Earth Day any less
relevant? Has the environment improved
at all? Are there less barrels of rancid
toxic waste created by such purveyors of
poison as Hardee's and McDonalds
laying about? Does Chrysler still not
manufacture 4 M.P.G. Behemoth
Deluxes with no "fairy" pollution
controls, super-cool air conditioners,
electric ashtrays and fifty-two position
electric waterbed seats? Has Axl Rose
taken a bath yet?
Survey says n 0...
BUT, this year the forces of media
have new bones to gnaw upon this
season. Even the lordly Sting has run
out of money enough that he no longer
cares about some tribesmen in the
rainforest, but now suddenly is interested
in making hideous amounts of money
and groupie-groping. He even fired half
his band to cut down on overhead...plane
tickets to Brazil are expensive, y'know?
Besides.Jf anyone truly cared about
the Brazilian environment, would the
United Nations have allowed Guns 'N'
Roses to enter the country to play Rock
In Rio?
this, that in reality, the value of a
woman (or a man for that matter) is
really entirely dependent on cultural
whims?
Applying the principles learned from
sociology class, I conclude that the
answer is yes. After all, there are no
absolutes. My repulsion to either
gouging out eyes or the mistreatment of
any individual is due to my social and
cultural conditioning; it is neither
morally right or wrong; so they tell me.
I will never be convinced that my
perception of these types of conduct is
simply cultural conditioning. To me, it
is morally wrong, wherever and
whenever it is done. I would also
suggest that 12 credits in cultural
diversity courses would not convince me
otherwise (see Capital Times April 5,
1991, pg. 4).
There is one other concept concerning
cultural diversity, as presented at PSH,
which I wQuld like to discuss.
Supposedly all diversity is good, and
April 26, 1991, CAPITAL TIMES
Now, I'm not saying we should all
take the Greenpeace approach, lashing
ourselves to the tailpipes of the
Harrisburg city buses while singing the
theme song from "Flipper," but this
habit of not caring until MTV tells us to
is scary... Karl Marx said that religion is
the opiate of the masses...if only he
could have seen TV.
Enough of that...
Astute readers of the National
Enqu...uh...the Voice From Hell will
remember when I was bitching about
Penn State's NEW basketball arena that
was going to be built, and how we had
yet another "unannounced" tuition hike
looking us in the face. WeII...YOU
HEARD IT HERE FIRST,
campers... Penn State suddenly
announced the formation of a fund-raiser
to raise FIFTY million dollars for the
creation of this arena...and in the same
day, it was announced that State
university students could expect a six
hundred dollar a year tuition hike!
Coincidence? You decide! Who the hell
needs Time-Life books when you live
the happy life of a heavily extorted Penn
State student! Lets see Joab Thomas out
hawking Lifecalls part-time door to door
at the rest home to pay for the arena
instead of us getting reamed out again.
Penn State has really burned its
bridges with this Big Ten thing...by
listening to Joe Paterno as if he were
God, we have eliminated Syracuse and
Pitt from our football schedule. Well, in
about 20 years, when people here are
sick of seeing PSU playing such mega
games as Northwestern and Purdue every
year, and PSU wants to pick up other
games, Pitt and Syracuse will (I hope)
tell Penn State to go to hell. We'll be
playing Eastern Mississippi Junior
Teachers Technical College for the Blind
and the Altoona's Girls College because
everyone else will hate us.
Oh well... Penn State can always
make up the lost revenue with a tuition
hike.
Until next time...
alternative views must be accepted by
all. But if diversity is really good, why
does PSH make such an issue that
everybody respond to cultural diversity
in exactly the same way? In other words,
by PSH dictating that all indiviuals
respond favorably to culural diversity and
different lifestyles, they are in reality
violating their own standard of
encouraging each individual to follow
his, or her, own personal convictions.
What an interesting paradox.
The reason theses problems exist is
due to the acceptance of the philosophy
that absolutes absolutely do NOT exist
(sorry if that sounds contradictory).
Alternatively, we could accept the fact
that there are absolutes; but then we
must also conclude that there is also an
absolute Being, namely God. Not, that
can't be, our philosophers are absolutely
sure of that. Sounds to me like
somebody is absolutely wrong.
Peter Tuckey
SDCET