Sports without officials borders on anarchy
Pat Byers
Capital Times Staff
Imagine, if you will, a sport or
game without the referee, umpire, or
official. A referee, defined in the
dictionary as "one to whom any matter,
point, or question is referred for a
decision." They are found on the
basketball court, or in the boxing ring,
football field or volleyball court.
The official is defined as someone
holding "a position of authority.
Someone true or genuine." This species
can be spotted mediating a hockey or
football game or tennis match. While
the umpire is "someone designated to
setttle a dispute or whose decision a
controversy or question between parties
is referred. These individuals are
primarily found on baseball diamonds or
in the background of footballs authority
of do's and don'ts.
Since it's inception, competitive
sport is carried on by traditional rules of
conduct. Those who compete learn
young that these rules are made to be
broken. The informal neighborhood
pick-up games invites it's participants to
stretch the rules as much as possible
without fear of enforcement.
Cries such as "no fair," "foul," and
"do-over" were echoed in backyard and
schoolyard "stadiums." Some bear the
scars of the cheap-shot inflicted during
Is Don Kin
Trivial items in life antagonize the btain
Jeff Berrigan
Capital Times Staff
Well, it's almost the end of the
semester here and before you know it
finals will be just around the comer. It
seems like this semester just flew by and
left me behind, just like every other
semester.
Over the course of the last few
months there have been a bunch of
things that have me saying "Hmmmm?"
Being the thoughtful type of guy that I
am I thought I'd share these ideas with
you. So heeeeere we g 0...
Why is the word "abbreviation" so
long? Hmmm. You would think that
of all words that would be short, this
one would. Another thing that gets me
about abbreviations is why certain words
are abbreviated. Take the word "July” for
instance. It's abbreviation is "Jul."
Come on now, this has to be a joke.
You HAVE to be in a hurry to do this. I
wonder what the abbreviation for May
is? Hmmm...
Does anybody know how old
George Bums really is? Hmmm. I
cannot believe that this man is still
alive. He has violated every health tip
there is, it seems. Every time I see him
on television he has the biggest and
fattest cigar, or whatever it is - it looks
like a brown baseball bat hanging from
this youthful warfare throughout their
lives. The sad reality is that many of
the athletes and fans alike carry this
schoolyard mentality to the professional
arena today.
Officials, umpires, and referees in
many cases either over or under-police
the activities on the field. The "fan,"
which is short for "fanatic" is not
policed but encouragfed by professional
sport to resume the unorthodox
mannerisms of childhood sports.
Slogans such as "c-mon ump " or 'the
umpire cost the game" are echoed
repeatedly before, during and after an
event. The umpire, official, or referee
has become the scapegoat of sport. So
let's imagine sport without them.
One slow pitch softball league
experiments each year without umpires.
Pitchers throw to a mat behind home
plate. If the ball hits the mat a strike is
called and sportsmanship is left to the
discretion of it s "Christian"
participants. Injury is prevalent and
profanity frequent. Hardly a proto
typically Christian behavior.
The unofficiated area beneath the
basket at most community basketball
leagues has become a warzone from
which few depart unscathed. Touch and
Rag football leagues rise to the forefront
of competitive sport when it realizes
that muscles and bones break and tear
easily once adulthood sets in without the
benefit of protective gear.
his lower lip, in his mouth puffing away
like there is no tomorrow. The man is
simply amazing. Anyway...
Who cuts Don King's hair? Hmmm.
Or who doesn't cut his hair, maybe that
should be the question. How can Mike
Tyson possibly take this guy seriously.
I mean King has that "Mr. Heatmizer"
(remember that old Christmas special)
deluxe style haircut. It looks like he's
been electrocuted eight times. I bet he
scares himself every time he looks in the
mirror. Mirror, mirror on the wa11...
What idiot came up with the idea of
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On the amateur level the umpire,
referee and official are an unwelcomed
guest. But imagine the unenforced 90
m.p. h. beanball or the physical pain
inflicted by the "high slide" without
sanction. Imagine an uninhibited "low
blow" in boxing or intentional "slash”
of hockey.
Today, the speed clock may simply
be the ancestor of a mechanized ball and
strike indicator,which would eliminate
the use of an umpire. The instant replay
"official" is at the mercy of film. It takes
away the individual human element (the
official) to satisfy another human
element (the spectator).
More recently, an umpire was
chastised for ejecting a multi-million
dollar pitcher from a league
championship series. A college football
official was verbally leveled for
allowing a fifth down which eventually
led to the recipient's winning a national
championship.
A boxing referee was cited for
prematurely ending a championship
fight because he saw the challenger unfit
to continue. Basketball referee's are
constantly scrutinized for favoring the
home court. Hockey officials are
constantly jeered for risking their own
lives to step between a couple of goons
during an altercation.
But remove the official from each of
these events and its participants, and
fan s become representative of a "roller
serving nachos at the movie theatre?
Hmmm. It is bad enough trying to scoot
around those skinny isles with popcorn
and soda - in the dark. Now we have to
fear getting nacho sauce spilled on our
heads as some klutz stumbles around in
the row behind us. And is it me or are
those nachos the crunchiest things ever.
The last time I was in a theatre I missed
half of the movie because I couldn't hear
it. I guess I'll get over it...
Why aren't certain animals "wild?”
Hmmm. Cows - I've never seen a "wild
mountain cow." I guess cows just aren't
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ball" mentality.
The pitcher and batter will be
praised and rewarded for the number of
fatalies they cause. Franchises will profit
with it's fans supporting "low blows "
and "late hits."
The athlete will truly earn the
million dollar paycheck by becoming
the "target" of opposing player and fan
alike. Survival will dominate again as it
did during those days on the
neighborhood field. The rules and
regulations will be taken from the game,
out of the hands of the official and
placed in the hands of the machine.
The instant replay will soon dictate
the outcome of the game. The human
element will remain only in front of a
television set and in the stands. Fan
violence may be applauded . Suspension
and ejection will be things of the past.
Professional athletes may be rewarded
during contract negotiations for spitting
on a fan.
Imagine an on-the-court
confrontation with notable churchmice
such as Me Enroe, Barkeley, Clemens,
or Bozworth without fear of ejection or
fine. A winner-take-all event. No
umpire, official, or referee to worry
about. An event unheard of in
professional sport. Unseen since the days
of the Christians vs. the Lions. Sport
revolves exclusively around profit and
fan appeal. Coming to an arena or
stadium near you. Play ball!
nimble enough to jump around on those
cliffs. They might sprain a hoof or
something. Come to think of it I've
never seen a cow run either! Imagine
that, a herd of wild mountain cows
stampeding towards you. That'd be a
sight! I don't know what would be
worse, a herd of wild cows or a pack of
barking tree spiders.
Well I guess that's all for now, the
Masters dart tournament just came on
television and you know I would'nt want
to miss that. I'll check everybody out in
the next issue... A - B - C-ya!
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