CAPITAL TIMES, March 21, 1990
ARTS & LEISURE
Hank's Pen Rambles on Dot
Hank Rappold
Capital Times Staff
More on dating. OK, I finally got a
chance to go on a date with that girl. No
wait, not a girl...a goddess...a vision of
heaven on earth. She is definitely not
just a girl.
So what do I do with this illusionary
goddess? It's the first date and I have to
make a good impression. They always
say that a first impression is a lasting
one. By the way who is this 'they'
person? Anyway where do I take this
girl? Dinner and dancing? Just dinner?
Lunch? Coffee? A movie, perhaps? Good
old pizza and a movie? A summertime
dream--a movie and ice cream? How
about a combination of any of the
above?
This all led me to the question- how
much money do I spend to entertain the
one being that thousands of songs
should be written about? What is too
much, or what is too little? $l5. Come
on it's hard to get away with that. $25.
Now we might be talking. Not too
much of a dent in the wallet. Still,
maybe it will make an impression. I
don't know.
With all these questions and many
more flying about my head I went in
search for answers. What I was really
concerned about is how I should act on
the infamous "first date", so I went back
to the source I used in my piece on what
females like in males. She was, once
again, an over-abudant source of
information and I came away with some
great concepts and ideas.
Flowers always help to start the date
off op the right foot (figuratively
Holy Week Services: Maundy Thursday In Parishes
Good Friday 12:00 Noon in BCAC Lounge & Parishes
Call Seven Sorrows at 944-3133 or
St. Peter's at 944-4651 for Worship Service Information
Sponsored by the Interfaith Council of Middletown,
Catholic Campus Ministry - Lutheran/United Campus Ministry
speaking, that is). Something like a
single rose or carnation is nice and
supposedly does the job. Why have I
never thought of trying this? I always
thought that showing up on time is a
good start.
Being nice, but not too nice, to her
parents is another key factor. I guess this
means I have to confuse her mom as
being her sister and cringe while shaking
her father's hand. Hopefully I will not
have to try any of mom's cookies or
listen to any of dad's fishing stories.
That is where I draw the line (once
again, figuratively speaking).
Outside the house is when I have to
be on my best behavior. This means that
things like opening doors and
controlling bodily noises will gain me
points. I don't mind opening doors but
"belching" is one of my better attributes.
I guess I'll have to skip "belching" and
stick to witty small talk. Oh joy!
Let's call my source Madame X. Well
both X and her roommate,Y, agree that
some sort of food is required on the date.
This means either dinner and a movie or
a movie and a snack afterwards. But
definitely some sort of food. So once
again, I'm delegated to the role of a
feeding machine. Only this time I have
to play the role of a well-mannered, nice
but not too nice, FTD-like guy, feeding
machine. Hey, no problem.
X and Y began to tell me other
factors I must consider about the food.
Never, I repeat never, order spaghetti
unless you look good in one of those
bibs that are made for sloppy spaghetti
eaters. Don't take the girl to a greasy
spoon, Ma and Pa type diner, and no fast
food. I ask you what is an evening
without either a Big Mac or homemade
meatloaf with lumpy gravy? The answer
is, now that I think about it, probably
an evening in which I would not be
inclined to belch or make any other type
of bodily noises. Another food type
recommendation is not to go any place
too outstanding. Oh, no greasy spoons
and nothing too outstanding. OK, now
the choices are limitless.
When eating out I should never chew
with my mouth open. If I do, I might
end up spitting my meal all over the•
table, or worse yet all over my date. I
bet she would be really pissed off I did
something like that. Starting a food
fight on the first date is also a no-no. No
matter how much humor I find in
shooting a spoonful of mashed potatoes
across a restaurant, I'm not allowed.
Like, bummer dude!
Next on the agenda during the
somewhat ideal date comes the movie. I
have found that there is proper etiquette
in the movie theater too. I should, when
choosing a movie, pick a movie that the
girl will like also. This means no
"Rambo" shoot-'em-up movies. These
should be saved for evenings of male
bonding. Comedies are a safe choice and
so are some dramas. But never, and I
repeat never, go see a movie with
someone like Patrick Swayze in it. All
you will here is "He's so good looking"
and all you will wonder is "What am I,
chopped liver?"
More food is also needed at the
movies, according to X and her
roommate, Y. "Popcorn is a definite
must," said Y. Personally I offer my
dates (if and when I have have one) Ju-Ju
Fruits fresh off the theater floor. I have
found they are not likely to accept them
even after I clean off all the hair and dirt.
Sweettarts, on the other hand, are easy to
pass off as being fresh. They don't seem
to attract as much dirt as Ju-Ju Fruits
and are easier to clean off. But to make
the date as succesful as it can be, play it
safe and buy the snacks at the concession
stand.
With all this information I have
gathered I think it is time to come up
with some sort of budget for the
evening. The first thin! to consider is
Area Happenings
WOMEN IN THE WORKPLACE
The BX Business Club Panel will
present a panel of five women sharing
their experiences in the workplace on
Wednesday, March 28 from 12-1:30
p.m. in the Gallery Lounge.
The women represent a wide variety
of fields including banking, insurance,
accounting and the state government.
The panel will also include Sandra
Jackson, Manager of Human Resources
in Business Services at PSH. Women
will learn what to expect in the
workplace and give advice in obtaining
one's goals. .
ImiDoicomaceiDertti&iirulei
Two workshop sessions on easing
the transition from college to the real
world of working life will be on
Tuesdays, March 20 and 27 from 12:15-
1:30 p.m. in Olmsted E-338.
Students can register in Olmsted W
-117 or call 948-6025. Registration
deadline is Monday, March 19.
ing 11
how important is the girl to you? Have
you just met or known each other for a
long time? Will the evening be worth
the wait? Or will talking to the
wallpaper at the restaurant be more fun?
The above evening should cost me
anywhere from $45-$5O. Broken down
this includes: $3O for dinner and $lO-$ll
on a movie or $l5-$l6 if popcorn and
candy are bought. Note: The total does
include a flower, and to save money at
the theater buy your candy at K-Mart or
Jamesway beforehand and smuggle it
into the movies in her purse. This will
save you a couple of bucks.
I have been able to break an evening
out to the unbelievable total of only
$4.95. This includes both dinner and a
movie. Dinner will be at 7-11 or at any
convenience mart that has a hot dog
special. Two dogs for $1.19, can't be
beat and while there I can pick up a 99-
cent movie. This brings the total up to
$3.18 and leaves $1.77 for two Slurpees
for dessert. Who says money can't buy
love?
From all of this I have learned that
there is no such thing as a perfect date. I
have to remember that all girls are
different and they all like different
things. The perfect date then, would be
one that includes something for
everybody. Centering the date around one
person is not good and will lead to a bit
of tension. On the first date being one's
self should make a very successful
evening because one cannot be someone
else forever.
An important thing to remember is
all good things are worth the wait. Even
if the wait ranges from hours to days to
weeks or to even seven months it will
be worth the wait. hist don't wait so
long for the next date; life is too short.
Editors note: Hank will be offering
an advice column to any wayward soul
in search of guidance. Just drop him a
line at the Cap. Times Office W-341, or
put a note in the Cap. Times mailbox
in room 216 or give it to any of the
Lion's Den ladies and they will see that
he gets it. A deep meaningful answer
will be published in the next issue.
DIZEti IZI DI pi 9 lIILL'IN3 I 10. ti :
John Kauffman, executive vice
president of operations for Pennsylvania
Power & Light Co., will conduct a
seminar on the opportinuties in the
electric power industry on Thursday,
March 22 from 1-2 p.m in Room 1 la
the Technology Laboratory Building .
BSU CELEBRATION
The PSH Black Student Union (BSU)
is celebrating its anniversary this month.
The celebration will culminate on
Saturday, March 31 with a host of
activities including a workshop, banquet,
and go-go party.
The proceeds from the weekend
celebration will go toward a book
scholarship fund to provide support for
future black students.
UNIVERSITY PARK CONCERT
Stanley Jordan will be in concert
Sat., March 24 at 8 p.m. in the
Eisenhower Auditorium at University
Park. Tickets can be purchased at the
Office of Student Activities in Olmsted
212.
Cost per ticket is $l5 with a student
id.