Humor
TV Ad. Smothers the Real Issue
I was watching Morton Downey Jr. the other night. (That's right, I admit it--I
watch the Morster. At this point, I could say that the reason I watch Morton Downey
is that-I endeavor to keep an open mind, and look to add to my store of political and
social knowledge from any source. Or, I could say I want to feel the pulse of middle-
America. I could say one of those things, but I'd be lying. I watch Morton Downey Jr.
because I get a kick out of seeing right-wing fanatics and ACLU types lose it and
scream at each other on national television. Anyway, its a whole passel of people we
may justifiably feel superior to.)
I was watching Morton Downey Jr., and during one of the breaks this sleazy spot
came on. You know the type: split screen, a couple of women begging for a phone
call. But this wasn't a commercial for one of those glorified conference lines where you
get to breath heavy and they won't trace the call. These women were telling me that
= vote was important. ,
The issue was abortion, and I could call either a pm-choice or a pro-life number and
register my opinion. As many times as I wanted. At two bucks a pop. (What a deal.
For two dollars I can get a pack of smokes and ruin my health as is my God-given right
as an American.)
I'm not going to discuss abortion as an issue here, and I'd rather not state my
position while talking about this televised tripe, but to me, the spot seemed to have a
definite pro-life slant. On the other hand, the pm-life people would probably feel the
opposite. (Shh, I think I just tipped my hand.) Let's just say it was equally offensive
on all fronts.
The results of this TV vote are to be tallied and rushed to George Bush in the
White House. I'm sure that when he gets the voting decision about abortion-- from a
bunch of yahoos who think Morty is a statesman and fall for this televised bunko--
George will act on it immediately. Wouldn't you?
Now there are probably a bunch of people in this country who think that by voting
in one of these scams they're making a difference in national affairs. Part of the
problem is the difficulty in voting legitimately in this country. It almost takes a degree
in Political Science to figure out who to call to register.
So, what can we do? Write soTebody—your congressbumr or one , of y9ur
senators. You do know who they are;right? not, write ate:, care of thii paper.
Just enclose two dollars and I promise to keep the money and throw your opinion away.
Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the Big Apple . . .
Bus adventure II
An honest, tongue-in-cheek account from the
By Detrick Stokes
There should be a yellow brick road
10 New York City; then maybe a certain
pair of bus drivers from Capitol
Trailways could get there.
They appeared to be competent
gentlemen; but we were fooled. Just
like the glorious sunshine created the
illusion of a warm Sunday morning, we
were duped. After a Saturday night full
of Rolling Rocks it appeared wise to
trust anyone wearing a blue uniform.
Linda Ross scheduled a routine trip
to New York for her Modern Art class
on the 19th of March. After last year,
no art trip will ever be "routine." I still
remember standing in the rain as the bus
passed me, stranding me in Manhattan.
I remember panicking because I couldn't
find a MAC (Money Access Card)
machine. I remember almost spending
the night with a woman older than my
mother. I remember this so well
because the students at Penn State
Harrisburg won't let me forget. I WAS
NOT GOING TO MISS THE BUS
AGAIN!
C. W. Heiser
Capital Times' highly unpaid New York Correspondent
Ms. Ross had requested the buses
this time. I chose a window seat near
the front of the bus she wasn't on.
Kevin Facer, a budding photographer
with thinning hair and a vulgar mouth,
sat next to me. With my Phil Collins
cowlicks and dirty mind, we made a
perfect pair.
A small terrorist and her parents sat
in front of us. Four hours of non-stop
bouncing, screaming and kicking made
life enjoyable for her parents. I had
skipped breakfast like usual, but I can
imagine eating a whole box of Cap'n
Crunch and feeling a little bit edgy.
I could tolerate the hyperactive kid,
but not the driving.
The driver introduced himself as
"Doc." He was our nightmare. This
small man with a big moustache was
our bus driver. Because of his
inexperience and unfamiliarity with New
York, Doc chose to follow the other
bus. Unfortunately for us, the driver of
the other bus was just as inept. Doc's
paranoia of being left by the other bus
caused, him to run a red light.
Cont. on p. 6
Comment
Child Care: The Time is Now
Child care legislation is high on the agenda of the new 101st Congress. That's
where it belongs.
The need for a nationwide approach to the problem no longer is seriously debated
in Washington.
Members of Congress from one end of the political spectrum to the other jumped
on the child care bandwagon in 1988, joined by George Bush who proposed his own
plan.
Our political leaders are reflecting what millions of working parents have known:
finding someone to care for a young child during the day can be very difficult. Add
qualiy and affordability to your requirements and the task can approach impossible.
The problem has become acute in recent years as record numbers of women with
young children have joined the work force.
Between 1975 and 1987, according to the Labor Department, the largest single
increase in U.S. workers was among married women with children under age 3--from
32.5 percent in 1975 to 54.2 percent in 1987.
Working mothers had some 10.4 million children under age 6in 1984--a figure
expected to rise to nearly 15 million by 1995. Yet, according to the Children's
Defense Fund, there are only about 2.5 million slots in licensed day-care centers.
"Our progress toward a sensible child care policy has been fragmented and
tentative," notes Gerald W. McEntee, president of the American Federation of State,
County, and Municipal Employees, which is part of a broad coalition pushing for a
major child care initiative.
Only a few thousand of the nation's six million employers assist their workers
with child care needs, says McEntee, and "Efforts by state governments depend largely
on the health of state economies. But even states that are moving ahead cannot meet
the demand."
These factors have tossed the child care issue into Washington's lap. The question
now is what our lawmakers will do with it.
The biggest question facing federal child care legislation is not political consensus
-Though distinctly different approaches have been suggested--but where to get the
money in a federal budget already: awash in redink. •
President Bush, in his read-my-lips pledge not to raise taxes, ruled out that source
of revenue even as he was proposing a raft of new social legislation during the
campaign, including a $2.2 billion child-care plan that features a $l,OOO per-child tax
credit for low-income families.
Most child care advocates favor a $2.5 billion plan that would distribute funds
through the states in the form, of direct ,to, R ivenp,. A rants for the expansion or
creation of Ifcengedchfld-care Centers, and' esta blished standards to ensure safe and
healthy facilities for children.
WPSH
TOP 20
For the week endin: March 17
1. Living Colour
Cult of Personality
2. Fine Young Cannibals
She Drives Me Crazy
3. New Order
Fine Time
4. Nitzer Ebb
Control Im Here
5. Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock
It Takes Two
6. Erasure
A Little Respect
7. Bangles
Eternal Flame
8. Elvis Costello
Veronica
9. Paula Abdul
Straight Up
10. R.E.M.
Stand
Capital Times, March 30, 1989, Page 5
By News USA
11. Enya
Orinoco Flow
12. Edie Brickell & New Bohemians
Little Miss S
13. Tone L.
Wild Thing
14. Kon Kan
I Beg Your Pardon
15. Mike and the Mechanics
Living Years
16. Edie Brickell & New Bohemians
What I Am
17. Reivers
Lazy Afternoon
18. Guns 'N Roses
Paradise City
19. R.E.M
Orange Crush
20. Sheena Easton
The Lover In Me