Oct. 8, 1986
Campus Commentary
Future Warnings of Culture Shock Will Be Heeded
By Joe Kupec
Beginning my Junior year has
been an adjustment. When I
moved here many of my friends
warned me about the challenges
that lay in wait. What they did
not warn me about was the
confusion and cultural clash that
I would experience.
Penn State was true to form.
When I showed up on August
27,1 discovered that housing had
“sort or misplaced one of my
housemates. There was no
problem unless you consider the
additional eighty dollar housing
fee to make up for the absence
of a fourth man a problem.
Settling into the house on Jones
Street was easy enough. Getting
used to the sound of traffic and
the regularly scheduled flights
from Harrisburg International
was another thing. I have learned
something though. When you
can’t sell housing next to an
airport the next best thing is to
start a school. The captive
population of students on
campus will have to live in the
housing despite the noise.
The opening lecture and
What’s Up Doc?
A recent commission studying
violence on TV stated that a
child will see 17,000 murders by
the time he is 18. It further
stated that chief offender was
cartoons which were exceedingly
violent. They took extreme
exception to a Donald Duck
cartoon where he shoved golf
balls down the throats of his
three nephews after they had
locked him in the closet.
This has emboldened other
watchdog groups to come out
with their proposals and demand
justice. The Amateur Athletic
League has come out with
evidence proving Popeye The
Sailor has been taking anabolic
steroids to improve his strength.
The veteran sailor admitted that
he had built up a tolerance to
spinach over the years and was
beginning to get the stuffings
beat out of him by Bluto.
Other medical news finds
Charlie Brown being diagnosed
as having acromegaly, a disease
characterized by a severe
enlargement of the head. Brown
is not expected to recover. This
is the same disease which killed
Betty Boop in 1954. The
American Association for
Unspeakable Body Parts has
stated that Pinocchio was never
circumcised as a youngster and
that this could lead to infections
in later life. His family is co
operating and a large pencil
sharpener is being flown in to
do die job.
The Feline Anti-Defamation
League has protested the
introduction of the Mechanical
Engineering Faculty and Staff
went well. The professors
seemed like a real fun bunch of
engineers. There was one
problem though, during the
course of the lecture each
speaker referred to the campus
by a different name. I have heard
the school called Capitol
Campus, Penn State Capitol,
Capitol College and Penn State
Harrisburg, Capitol College.
The only monicker not used was
TMI University, The Glow in
The Dark School. Does this
imply that the department or
university as a whole has an
identity problem in relation to
the Commonwealth System?
I was prepared for the prospect
of living within the fall-out
zone of Three Mile Island. There
are some risks inherent in
pursuing a degree from Penn
State. What caught me off guard
was the water. Troy, one of my
house mates, had warned me
about it the first day I was here.
Actually all he had said was not
to drink it. Unbridled curiosity
being one of my vices, I drew
some from the kitchen tap and
drank it there by discovering its
state that even an ignorant cat
like Sylvester would realize after
25 years that it is a kangaroo he
is fighting and not a giant
mouse. The Sufferin’ Succotash
Foundation has urged that Daffy
Duck and Porky Pig be given
speech therapy.
Cynicism &
Humor
Aian Pincus
The only hearty endorsement
came from the United States
Sadomasochism Foundation
which name Beep Beep, the
roadrunner, as its man of the
year. I personally thought the
award should have gone to the
coyote or the late, lamented Mr.
Bill. Even the muppets were As if, to understand culminates
accused of fostering mixing of within,
die races with their pig and frog I look in, beyond die illusions,
romance. One religious group Which taint and infect,
stated that alter pig and frogs And make, of reality,
Capital Times
worst property, the taste.
Another surprise lay in store
concerning the water supply. In
one of the first lectures in my
chemistry class our instructor,
wishing to illuminate the
concept of the solubility of
chemical compounds, explained
how the ground water of
Middletown was contaminated
with something called TCE. For
those uninformed students TCE
is in no way related to THC.
The chemical in the water was
used as a degreaser by the Air
Force who had previously
occupied the Airport and this
campus. Prior to the concept of
hazardous waste disposal this
branch of the military disposed
of their waste, TCE, in the
traditional military solution for
such problems, they buried it.
The steel containers are rusting
through and the TCE is leaking
into the ground water.
Let this be a lesson to Penn
State, the next time they go to
buy a campus ready made better
do a character reference on the
previous tenant!
Not only is the water unfit to
drink, one of the TCE disposal
sites is somewhere under Meade
be dogs and cats followed by
the end of the world. It is
evident that the only way to
save society is to wipe out these
cartoons and put on some good,
wholesome Bible stories, like
obliterating Sodom and
Gomorrah or Job and his oozing
boils. Only then can we be sure
our children are not watching
something vile.
Th-Th-That’s All Folks
The Cycle
By Julie Larson
As if, to understand is the final
revelation.
I emerge from my illusions,
(The result of elevated
understanding)
To seek the cause of this
disturbing intrusion.
Colliding with reality,
Reaching diagnosis,
Groping through confusion,
I, inward, turn my focus.
Heights.
Adjusting to Penn State
University Capitol College, or
whatever this place is called, has
been one thing. Getting used to
“Central Pennsylvania” is a
whole nuther story. I am from
the Allegheny Valley. For those
of you whose geography does
not extend beyond the
Schuylkill River, that’s north of
Pittsburgh. Back Home was
settled by a large number of
immigrants from Eastern Europe
who believed that one long trip
in a life time was enough.
Going to Pittsburgh, twenty
miles down river, was like
going to another country.
As you may imagine this kind
of attitude leads to parochial
thinking. Growing up in a
bilingual community has its
advantages until you move out
of that community. I discovered
this on my first trip to the Giant
down in Middletown. At the deli
I asked the girl who waited on
me for a pound of Jumbo and a
half pound of chipped chopped
ham. She looked at me like I
had three eyes and said,“l’m
sorry sir, we don’t have
anything like that here.” I
Where’s the Beef?
Experience In Dining
Half Angers Student
By Denise Reinas
Did you ever really look
forward to a specific meal and
couldn’t wait to satisfy your
hunger by sinking your teeth
into the entre that you knew you
were going to have for dinner?
OH what a wonderful feeling!
Well, on Friday September
19th, I had classes,
appointments, and meetings all
day. I was really looking forward
to the pre-planned meal in the
dining hall which consisted of
fried fish, greenbeans, and
noodles. I was starving. After
my packed schedule, I finally
arrived at the dining hall at 5:20
p.m. As I waited in line behind
people who were already on their
second helpings, I became
hungrier and hungrier. Finally,
when it was my turn to be
served, I looked at the warming
case only to find total
emptiness. I asked the lady
behind the case if there was any
more fish, greenbeans, or
noodles. She said “no.” She then
asked me what I wanted. I, in
turn, said “I guess whatever you
have.” She then pushed a plate
at me with a hamburger on it
only. I was extremely
disappointed because I truly
can’t stand hamburgers. I then
proceeded to the salad bar,
looking forward to a large salad
for my meal. I got there only to
find a lady U '*ing everything
discovered that people here call
their Jumbo German Bologna
and Chipped Chopped Ham is
pressed ham. There was another
surprise over at the soft drinks
when I asked the stock boy
where the cold pop was. “Pop?”
he said, “what’s that?” I
mumbled something about cold
ginger ale and he pointed me
down the aisle toward a cooler.
When I was at the checkout I
asked the clerk to put all of my
groceries in one poke.
“You must be from outta
town,” shfc observed. I was
beginning to wonder if there was
a sign on my back proclaiming
that fact.
Despite the cultural differences
I am uncovering, the confusion
surrounding the name of this
venerable institution, bad water
and the possibility of limited
radioactive fallout I think that I
am going to enjoy my two years
here. Maybe by the time I
graduate I will have developed a
taste for the water and the
dialect. Hopefully the faculty
and administration will figure
out the name of the school.
I unwantingly bit into it, once
again, only to find
disappointment. It was full'of
raw ground beef in the center. At
this point I no longer had an
appetite. My meal was totally
ruined by paid workers who
wanted to rush out of the dining
hall.
As far as I was informed,
dinner was supposed to be served
until 5:30 on Fridays. Is this
what we, as students, pay up to
$850.00 a semester for? I feel
that $850.00 is a lot of money
to pay only to recieve lousy
service.
After telling some of my
friends about my rotten
experience in the dining hall, I
was informed by them that last
year the students finally became
so annoyed by the service there
that a students versus employees
forum was scheduled. At this
forum students openly voiced
their opinions and dislikes to the
employees. For about three
weeks after the forum, the
service seemed much better. But
after those 3 weeks, everything
went back to the old unpleasant
ways. Are we, the students, of
any importance here?
I felt that it was necessary to
inform the rest of the student
body of my displeasing
experience in the dining hall
because if anyone else is having
problems, maybe we could all
ge! together and fight for our
rights. Is the treatment we
Page 5