Opinions
Student advises: "Only get sick on Tuesdays"
ie Atherholt
By Wi
I’ve often thought it wQuld be
interesting to go back in time. I
finally did it this term when the
night nurse sent me to Dr. Con
rad’s office.
After five days of being on
my deathbed it was time to de
mand something more than
Coricidin ‘D’.and throat
lozenges. Those treatments in
sulted my illness. So on my
third visit in five days to the
nurse’s office I got a bottle of
Robitussin PE and a note to see
the doctor that serves the cam
pus every Tuesday. This being
a Friday I had to go to his of-
fice in Middletown. I was real
excited about the prospects of
living a full life so I went to the
Office at 1:15 p.m. Since the
clinic opens at 1 p.m. I thought
it wouldn’t be too busy.
I now know what Ford of
ficials felt like when they said
the Edsel was the car with
a future. I was wrong. I stood
by the door not really knowing
what I was getting myself into.
I stood there for the better part
of two hours. After a seat
became free I was half reluc
tant to sit for fear that my back
had permanantly frozen in an
upright position. I didn’t think
that they could treat rigor mor
tis.
But during my time of Statue
of Liberty practice I kept my
ears and eyes open. The whole
trip took me back some thirty
or forty years. The decor mat
ched the building-old and
reconditioned.
Tuesday. March 29, 1983
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There was no receptionist to
take my name so I had to
remember all the people who
were before me. Suddenly from
the big wooden door (one that
I’m sure Charles would have
loved as a protective door to his
castle) came a muffled noise.
After someone got up and walk
ed in I realized that nobody had
expired. The noise was just the
ith nti " mtr ' r str
The doctor had yelled “next.”
I couldn’t take this educa
tional experience much longer.
I noticed a sign hanging on the
doorknob it said THE DOCTOR
IS IN please be seated. I’m cer
tain that it would fetch more
than a dollar or two at a
Christies auctionhouse.
One woman kept talking to
another patient. 1 later found
out that they had never met
before but listening to the con
versation you would never in
your wildest dreams think this.
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Between learning about latch
hooks and “modern methods”
employed by local quilting bees
(I kid you not) a woman named
Ethyl walked to the corner shop
for her paper. I heard all about
Ethyl from the incessant talker.
S..e was 75 and had just paid
$7O to get her dog put to sleep.
She told me more out I just
can’t remember all the juicy
details.
About three hours after I ar
rived it was my turn.
I shuffled into the office and
the doctor told me to have a
seat. I sat on the paper covered
examination table soaking up
all there was to see. Rows of
antique bottles lined the white
procelain shelves the way they
probably did when Ike was
President. I was then told to sit
on an old stool in the corner. I
was amazed at how old, yet an
tisceptically clean, everything
was. No sooner had I sat down
then the doctor told me to hold
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Page 8
my head back. Terror! A tube
went up my nose like a monster
out of “Alien.” Something
squirted out of it. Before I knew
it this treatment was over.
I was thankful for no leeches
but I didn’t find the nostril tube
much fun. After the obligatory
chest listening he told me I
could go. He phoned in a
prescnption for me. Yes, there
was a phone in the office ~
nothing fancy -- just the basic
black desk type. Cost of the
visit: nothing. This was great.
It almost made the trip wor
thwhile.
I’m still alive and I’m now
glad I had the experience. It
has made my education at
Capitol fully rounded. By the
way I feel much better now.
And if you ever get sick...do it
Tuesdays when the doctor
comes to campus.
Editor’s note: By-lined articles
reflect the view of the author.
Michael J. Poll.
Sabir Dabir
professor ol Engineering