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The Reel
By Rick Morrison
3(03 13 11313 OA AliD{
Christina Crawford's book, "Mommie
Dearest," in which she describes her
difficult life as movie star Joan Craw
ford's adopted daughter, has been
brought to the screen. Unfortunately,
this sadistic, desensitizing film could be
(and should be) put on afternoon televi
sion and made into one of America's
"favorite" soap operas. At most, it could
have been a made-for-television movie.
It doesn't deserve any better.
Although Faye Dunaway's portrayal
of Joan Crawford is very good and the
make-up job done on her (particularly in
the latter stages of the film) is extremely
realistic, the film suffers from a script
that makes this woman's anguish brutal
and intolerable, rather than humane and
understandable. By the time this film is
half over one is so desensitized to the
suffering that it is hard to care for the
daughter or for Joan Crawford.
A good film with this much conflict
would have done enough to at least make
us care about the characters so that we
could sympathize with them. An even
better film would have made us care
enough for the characters to empathize
with them.
Furthermore, the script does nothing
to contrast Joan Crawford's professional
life with her role as a mother. Oh, we see
the ever-present studio photographers
snapping pictures of Joan and Christina
in obligatory poses at Christina's birth
day party, and we see Joan autograph
ing 8 X 10 glossies and stuffing them into
envelopes to be mailed to her adoring
fans, but there is never any real sub
stantive scene of her at work.
The only scene where something
important happens to her on a profes
sional level is when she is fired from
MGM Studios by Louis B. Mayer. Even
in that scene, there is little (visually or
otherwise) to tell us what this meant to
her career and subsequently how it
caused her to suffer. At later times in
the picture we see Joan Crawford as an
aging actress who can't even get a
contract to perform a role as a substitute
for her daughter on a soap opera. That
the script failed to contrast these dif
ficulties with the success that this
woman had as an actress (an Oscar-win
ning actress no less) is utterly shameful.
Additionally, the script is corny in
several places. In particular, there is a
scene in the film where Christina is
awakened in the middle of the night by
her mother. she is chastised for not
keeping her bathroom clean, and Joan
rages on. After a much too lengthy
display of throwing cleansing powder all
over the place, Joan instructs the little
girl to clean up the mess. When Chris
topher, her brother who is also adopted
and is approximately five years old (and
who sleeps strapped into bed), offers to
help his , sister clean up the mess,
Christina tells him, "Go strap yourself
back in!" Not only does this line sound
bad, but it plays even worse on the
screen.
Finally, concerning the script, it is
simply too long and repetitive. The
movie borders on two and one-half
hours. There are countless repetitive
scenes of child abuse which continue to
the time Christina is shown as a teen
ager home on a visit from the private
school she attends.
World
Has rock music gained the massive
popularity it now enjoys solely on its
: pure musical value, or because of the
personalities behind the music and the
total entertainment package that it
offers the public? Frank Sinatra doesn't
shoot laser lights at his adoring fans, nor
does he have explosions and a battery of
lights flashing as he moves about the
The cinematography helps to give stage singing "My Way" or "New York,
this film a more clean, wholesome look
New York."
than it might have had if a lot of angle
There is definitely some real musi
shots and intense close-ups had been cianship and moving lyrics that emerge
used. But even looking straight on most from time to time, but the large majority
of the time tended to get very boring. .of rock music can best be described as a
Should I see this movie, you are raucous, ostentatious, theatrical farce.
asking yourself. My answer to that Cases in point:
question is only if the soap opera you 0 Judas Priest wear black leather
watch doesn't satisfy your appetite for and chains and ride on stage with
gorgeous art deco set decoration. motorcycles. Elvis Presley, if he were
still alive, would probably applaud this
behavior.
0 Angel is a group that is known for
its materialization on stage; they seem
to appear from nowhere. They are a
"Stripes," starring Bill Murray, is a prime example of the current state of the
male version of "Private Benjamin . "art in the bizarre world of rock.
Nothing more, nothing less. Don't be 00h, has anybody forgotten Alice
surprised to see a television version of Cooper or Kiss? Hardly! Alice sings to
"Stripes" this winter or next fall; "Ben- his boa constrictor and guillotines an
jamin" was made into a sit-corn, so unsuspecting female on. stage. This
"Stripes" could be, too. Perhaps that is smacks of a Tarzan-Executioner double
all "Stripes" should be. feature. Kiss sings about partying and
"Stripes" is nothing more than a screwing (around). They are known for
tamed-down "Animal House" in army their simplistic chord structures, their
green. So why did so many people go to gaudy costumes, explosions on stage,
see the film this summer? My guess is smoke (dry ice), and their human flame
that they wanted more of what they got thrower, Gene Simmons.
in "Benjamin," but with a little more
punch to it. But I don't think "Stripes"
delivered that punch. In fact, it didn't
even live up to its publicity.
A poor movie can be defined in many
ways, but surely one way to identify a
failure (artistically speaking) is to realize
you've seen all you need to see in the
television commercials which promote
the movie. I know I laughed more at the
television ads for "Stripes" than I did at
the theater.
STRIPES
There are a few funny moments in
"Stripes." This is not a credit to a film
which tries to blend slapstick, witty
dialogue, and satire, but it is a credit to
Bill Murray. He was able to carry the
few good laughs. But not very far.
Murray's characterization was much
too weak in this movie. When compared
to the characterization he developed in
the role of the derelict greenskeeper in
"Caddyshack," one is hard pressed to
remember any characterization in
"Stripes."
Unfortunately, the makers of this
picture thought it would be funny to
have us watch a band of misfit volun
teers struggle through basic training
only to haphazardly achieve high honors;
to have us watch women mud wrestlers
do their thing in beating up a fat soldier;
and to have us watch an armored
recreational-vehicle bust through barri
cades and destroy a Czechoslovakian
army camp.
None of this was terribly funny,
although it was meant to be. It was all
done strictly for visual effect, but the
situations were so ridiculously contrived
that they were only mildly humorous.
Hopefully, in his nett picture Murray
will have more original material to work
with. If he does, we could see him
develop the hilarious characterization of
the low-life types he did in "Caddyshack"
and on television, e.g. remember Nick,
the lounge singer he did on "Saturday
Night Live"? Murray is capable of much
better than "Stripes" allowed for.
You may be asking yourself, "Should:
I go see this movie?" My reply--No, don't!
bother. Wait until they make it into al
weekly sit-com. Then, don't watch that!
either—it's lamely to be even worse. t,
Thursday, October 15, 1981
Rock Talk
By Gene McGovern
❑ Blue Oyster Cult sing about God
zilla and other death/horror film orient
ed songs. They happen to use the
services of motorcycles also. They ought
to make a movie called "The Easy Riders
vs. King Kong."
❑ What about Wendy OWilliams and
the Plasmatics? They blow up cars and
smash TVs on stage. This is supposed to
represent opposition to our materialistic,
industrialized society. Well, if she hap
pens to cancel a date, maybe she could
send me a Sony on my birthday.
❑ Ted Nugent must have been a
philosophy major at Buffalo U: "Wang
Dang, Sweet Poontang" and an excerpt
from "Wango Tango, My Face is a
Mazaratti." That boy has some real
social commentary in his lyrics!
Must I go on? So, what is rock all
about? I don't know, but It's Only Rock
'N Roll, but I like it.
C.C. Reader