C.C. Reader
Letters to the Editor
Wumke's Welcomed
Welcome
Editor
Welcome to Penn State Capitol Cam
pus, all you junior-type persons. Glad to
see you again, all you returnees (only
one more year in this joint!). Wumke
here at your service once again.
To anyone new around here, allow
me to introduce myself. My name is
LEONARD WUMKE (all capitals, no
middle name or initial). In the spring of
1980, I was an unsuccessful candidate for
SGA President. The person wha defeat
ed me by only a few hundred, votes,
Roseanne Rosenberger, went on to be
come one of the best damn student
leaders this campus ever had. Since my
loss I have become a watchdog over SGA
and general campus activities. I criticize,
I praise, I make suggestions. Besides
campus stuff, I like to talk about bars,
sports, the outdoors, and interesting
things to see and do here in beautiful,
historic south-central Pennsylvania. But
enough of tooting my own horn. Let's get
down to the business at hand.
Bass fishing in the Susquehanna is
very good at this writing. Small, • min
now-type lures seem to be the favorite
bait. While I won't divulge my favorite
spot, I will mention that the stretch of
river above the Pennsylvania Fish Com
mission's Falmouth Access Area is an
excellent location. To get to Falmouth,
proceed south on Rte. 441 about two or
three miles below the TMI observation
tower. Watch for a sign on the right in
the woods. Falmouth is also a nice area
for hiking and photography.
Looking for a goodnight club in the
area? Country Roads, just outside of
Hummelstown, features live entertain
ment six nights a week (not Tuesdays).
To get there, take Rte. 230 east from
campus. Hang a left at Vine Street in
Middletown (Nissley Motors). Stay on
that road. Country Roads is just before
you get to the Rte. 322 interchinge on
the left side of the road.
Oh to SGA. This year's president,
Roberta Bronson, and her crew have a
tough act to follow. Last year's officers
and representatives accomplished most
of their stated goals. But I am confident
that Roberta will do well. (She finished
as second runner-up in the state Dairy
Princess Pageant, you know.) Here, in
brief, are some of Ms. Bronson's objec
tives taken from her campaign platform.
I will keep you posted on how well
they're carried out.
❑ Improvements in academic
advising.
❑lncreased use of Student Center.
❑Fair distribution of SGA funds to
chartered clubs.
❑ Installation of student mailboxes in
Main Building.
0 Additional typewriters for student
use in Main Building.
❑ Suggestion box to submit student
ideas to SGA.
I've heard through the grapevine
that work has already been started
toward eventual installation of student
mailboxes. SGA is trying now to appro
priate the necessary funds. Keep up the
good work, senators and officers.
I was glad to see that the dead bush
at the new campus entrance sign was
replaced by a new, green one prior to the
start of fall term. Livens things up a bit
around here, you know. I also noticed
that the dorms have been largely re
painted on the inside. Maybe that Mr.
Williams isn't as bad as I thought he was.
By the way, I welcome any written
comment, responsible or irresponsible,
on anything I happen to write. It makes
me feel important, i.e., fuels the old ego.
Special footnote to Provost Gross:
Thanks for mentioning me at the Lead
ership Conference. Wumke just might be
anywhere you are. Know what I mean?
I've got to run now--there's beer to be
drunk. Until next I am with you again, I
remain
LEONARD WUMKE
Leonard Gets A
Letter, Too
Mr. Leonard Wumke
Thanks for your greetings. It's good
to know that you're returning to your
role as the conscience of Capitol Campus.
I'll look forward to learning from your
letters.
Committee
Commended
Editor
This year's orientation for new stu
dents was very successful. It is evident
that the Orientation Committee, chaired
by Tish Whalen, made a significant
contribution to Sunday's events. Com
mittee members--identifiable by bright
gold T-shirts that read "Ask Me"--were
available throughout the day to answer
questions about the campus or orienta
tion. The enthusiasm expressed by these
people encouraged new and returning
Capitol students to become acquainted
and begin the year in a positive way. I
appreciate the committee's participation
and dedication.
James D. South
Director, Student Affairs
R.A. Tina Sterba is surprised by
photographer Steve Myers at Stone
Valley.
Thursday October 1, 1981
Theodore L. Gross
Provost and Dean
c Question...
Dear Sirs:
I am a big movie fan. Recently I saw
the ciarrent hit "Arthur." Although this
movie had a good plot and wonderful
cast, I believe that its success can be
attributed mainly to its great theme
song.
I fe)el that this has been the case with
many recent films. Do you agree with
me? 1
Dear flick fan
Weeel privileged to hear from "a big
movie n." You see, we thought your
type ha been replaced by air condi
tioners ong ago.
Yes, we wholeheartedly endorse
your the ry concerning the theme songs.
In fact, ere have been many cases in
which lipser movies became popular
only because of their songs. Why, just
last sumrner we saw "The Texas Chain
saw Mas.ificre." What would have hap
pened to hat flick if it weren't for its
famous theme song, "The First Time
Ever I Sawed Your Face"?
I
Dear Dynalnic Duo
Why does the mold on my socks in
the corner of my room glow in the dark?
Dear Wonders
Because if it glowed in the light, fool,
nobody would notice.
Dear Bill and Dave:
Why does Joe Paterno--who always
wears white socks because he doesn't
have the intelligence to match colored
ones--insist on running up the score
when he knows that the Nittany Lion
can't count that high to do his pushups?
Bob Antonini
Happy Valley Correspondent
Dear Bobby Socks:
Glad to see you're back in touch with
the big C.C. again this year! Hope you
had an enjoyable summer away from
Happy Valley.
Though it is not our place to question
Mr. Paterno's intelligence, we do ques
tion his choice of apparel. After all, it
takes a lot of guts to stand in front of
80,000 people each week (to say nothing
of an occasional national television aud
ience) wearing pants better suited for
clam digging. Add to this the Coke bottle
glasses and the legendary blue wind
breaker--which reflects about as much
pizzazz as his offensive game plan--and it
becomes obvious that Joe has less in
common with Liberace than not knowing
how to play a piano.
A Stupid
By Bill Neil And Dave Caruso
As to running up the score, we know
some good midget teams that are capa
ble of running up the score against the
likes of Cincinnati, Boston College, and
the other collegiate pigskin powerhouses
who make up the bulk of the PSU
schedule.
Surfs up, Joe!
Dear Bill and Dave,
A big flick fan
Dear Pestered
If they were your normal, everyday
cockroaches, we would suggest a strong
insecticide such as D-Con or Roach
Hotel.
However, since the little buggers you
speak of are the infamous Meade
Heights cockroaches, you may as well
buy a saddle and ride them to class.
Just Wonders Me
You are apparently under the de
lusion that Leonard Wumke is not a real
person. Citing Exhibit A, which is no
more than six inches away from this
sentence: He is a watchdog over SGA
and general campus activities. He criti
cizes. He praises. He makes suggestions.
He likes to talk about bars. He likes to
talk about sports. He likes to talk about
the outdoors. He likes to talk about
interesting things to see and do in
beautiful, historic south-central
Pennsylvania.
And most of all, he likes to see
stooges like you sitting around wasting
your time trying to figure out who he is.
By the way, he was drafted by the
Phillies, but he was cut three days into
sprinf training. Don't worry, though,
there II always be a place for him on the
New York Mets.
Ask
What do you do for cockroaches?
Pestered in Meade Heights
Gentlemen:
Who is Leonard Wumke really? I
heard he was drafted by the Phillies to
play shortstop for Larry Bowa next
year.
Dear P.J
We hope you all had a great summer.
To quote Dandy Don Meredith, "The
party's over!" As you settle into your
routine, please keep us in mind. We're
always in the market for some good
stupid questions, and we try to answer
all that we get. So, let's show everyone
just how stupid we can be when we put
our minds to it!
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Papa Joe